The Clouds Begin to Part

Existential Crisis of a Religious Nature Part three: The Clouds Begin to Part

If I were to attempt to categorize my experience of a religious existential crisis, the nature of my dilemma would fall under the realm of one of the Four Givens of Existential Psychology, namely, the continuum of “meaning-meaninglessness.” For my life is full of meaning, brought to me by my belief and practice. Yet, when my nuanced understanding and focus is not nourished by community, when there is a rift between what I am being presented, and what is appealing to my religious sensibilities, then my spiritual nourishment is diminished.

Yet, on the other side of the c0in, so to speak, is the continuum of isolation-connection. Truth be told, I am an introvert. So, I hardly ever feel isolate when ins solitude. Rather, I thrive in solitude. Still, my spiritual journey is often enhanced by this or that communal experience’ although, this is not always the case. I do not experience a sense of consistent renewal through community; in actuality, I only feel renewed when I explore my connection to G-d in solitude.

So, an in-depth exploration of what is of most value to me, inclusive of the sources I feel drawn toward, is imperative for the spiritual growth of my soul. For, I have reached an impasse in my life, whereof I must endeavor to find an open doorway to continue on the derech (path) in a meaningful and spiritually enriching way. In realizing the potential growth ahead of me and possible changes to my understanding, I can breathe a sigh of relief. It is as if the first rays of light are now appearing at dawn.