It is an illusion to think that we can leave our loved ones in the hands and expert care of professionals, who claim to offer services for the elderly. Admittedly so, this is a generalization; I am compelled to write about this issue, because my mother is in a less than ideal situation at a facility wherein she is on the independent living side of the facility at 82 years old, and clearly in need of more assistance than she is receiving there. The answer is not for her to transition to the assisted living side of the building; rather, her loved ones, including myself, should be at her side, throughout the day, guiding and comforting her.
People do not want to recognize the slow decline of life, inclusive of diminished abilities to function as one did in their younger years. We do not want to acknowledge that we age, as is natural, and enter a period of time, where we should be more focused on spiritual things, looking ahead to eternity. We are only concerned about material comfort, including that of our loves ones, as if we are absolved of our familial duties. So, my Mom is an independent living facility, losing her independence.
This is and has always been tragic – the slow and gradual shift away from family-centered life, to lives dependent upon our vocations, interests, and going our separate ways, all a part of the process of individuation, and finding “our place” in the world. Perhaps, if we have other means, we should not entrust our loved ones into the hands of professional corporations, who may not be as human-oriented as they could be, because after all it is a corporation with a bottom line. Love cannot be substituted for money as a motivating factor to treat human beings with compassion. And, I am as guilty as my brother and sister. And, we are all trying to make amends… somehow.
The Tree of Life 