existentialism – The Tree of Life

Searching for Meaning

Searching for Meaning in a World of Chaos

Challenging others with the truth, out of compassion, is a noble effort. Yet, the kind of truth that is able to stand on its own is different than a personal truth, that is more like an opinion. Moreover, often what people claim to believe is based upon their unsubstantiated feelings. Otherwise, their truth claims are nothing more than narratives that they are parroting from a news source, without actually investigating for themselves.

I myself am guilty, and have been so in my younger years to a greater degree of going along with the flow of ideas, stances, and positions that my friends held. I was not inclined to think for myself, nor reflect upon this, that or the other issue. Not until I began to strengthen my connection to G-d and His word, did I even begin to understand myself or others. It was as if I had been wavering in life, because I was disconnected from my Source.

If we neglect our connection to G-d, this may be as a consequence of our focus in life being elsewhere; especially, in the case of those who are caught up in a cause or ideology. Incidentally, perhaps, one of the reasons why the so-called “social justice movement” is flourishing is because participating in the movement gives some direction, meaning, and purpose to a person’s life.

I would contend that the void created by the diminishment of religious belief amongst this generation opens the doorway to the human yearning for meaning to be filled by some other means. Yet, the particularly vacuous nature of the Woke Movement, wherein nihilism abounds in the sense that meaning, purpose, and experience are subjective, will lead to the realization for some, that the soul is still undernourished. Hopefully, it will occur to mankind, when engulfed in such an empty set of pseudo-values, that there must be something more transcendent, that exists outside of our own subjectivity.

The Clouds Begin to Part

Existential Crisis of a Religious Nature Part three: The Clouds Begin to Part

If I were to attempt to categorize my experience of a religious existential crisis, the nature of my dilemma would fall under the realm of one of the Four Givens of Existential Psychology, namely, the continuum of “meaning-meaninglessness.” For my life is full of meaning, brought to me by my belief and practice. Yet, when my nuanced understanding and focus is not nourished by community, when there is a rift between what I am being presented, and what is appealing to my religious sensibilities, then my spiritual nourishment is diminished.

Yet, on the other side of the c0in, so to speak, is the continuum of isolation-connection. Truth be told, I am an introvert. So, I hardly ever feel isolate when ins solitude. Rather, I thrive in solitude. Still, my spiritual journey is often enhanced by this or that communal experience’ although, this is not always the case. I do not experience a sense of consistent renewal through community; in actuality, I only feel renewed when I explore my connection to G-d in solitude.

So, an in-depth exploration of what is of most value to me, inclusive of the sources I feel drawn toward, is imperative for the spiritual growth of my soul. For, I have reached an impasse in my life, whereof I must endeavor to find an open doorway to continue on the derech (path) in a meaningful and spiritually enriching way. In realizing the potential growth ahead of me and possible changes to my understanding, I can breathe a sigh of relief. It is as if the first rays of light are now appearing at dawn.

Overshadowed by the Moon

Religious Existentialism: existential crisis of a religious nature

If community participation eclipses one’s personal sense of belief and practice, disallowing for creative growth, as if one is simply expected to absorb the specific emphasis of teachings, and the overall philosophy of a particular style of Judaism without questioning, reflection, or discussion, how can one thrive, except as a wilted flower? The burden of such a contrast in approach prevents the goods of the Jewish faith from reaching the individual’s uniqueness.

If one’s understanding is nuanced, different than the perspective, approach, and emphasis, then, an apparent disconnect may occur. Consider, that the spirit of Judaism includes the concept of the seventy facets of Torah, that should foster appreciation and respect for individual perspectives. Moreover, inquiry into Torah is validated by Torah itself, wherein the middle of the Five Books of Moses, the same word is repeated twice: darosh, darosh – inquire, inquire.

If an individual becomes overwhelmed by the collective set of understanding, pervasive stance, and repetitive style of rhetoric, this may result in diminishing the sense of awe and wonder that Judaism should inspire. Moreover, I do not want to be provided with the answers; I would like to focus on the questions. Therefore, I need to retreat in order to gain room to breathe.

My experience has reminded me of Heschel’s insight, regarding the importance “to rediscover the questions to which religion is an answer.” He explains that “the inquiry must proceed both by delving into the consciousness of man as well as by delving into the teachings and attitudes of the religious tradition” (G-d in Search in Man, ch.1). I yearn to begin this exploration.

Eclipsed by the Sun

“Thinking about G-d begins when we do not know any more how to wonder, how to fear, how to be in awe.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel; G-d in Search of Man

Individuality is not a social construct. That might seem obvious. Yet, how many of us think of ourselves as individuals, without realizing that our individuality actually depends upon a social construct. The problem of awareness in regard to one’s “sense of self,” albeit, a concern most people never ponder upon, comes into stark relief when part of a religious community. The question arises, where does the community end, and one begin: it is a question having to do with personal boundaries and identifying markers, beliefs, and attitudes.

There is a story of a chasid whose aptitude at learning was minimal, and understanding of his faith was below average; in other words, his personal engagement with his belief and practice left much to be desired. Yet, he was carried along by the nature of the community. Being part of the whole. Enabled him to focus less on his detriments, and feel as if he was a member of something greater than himself.

I imagine, that from a psychological perspective, he lost himself in the group identity, and was content thereof, being immersed in that feeling of solidarity, if not oceanic submersion that can occur during moments of community prayer. Then, as the story goes, something happened, where he was called to another town, and found himself alone without his community.

Perhaps, it is a different sort of experience when one realizes the community is no longer positively oriented to his or her personal spiritual growth, thus this realization leads to a need to step back for a specific period of time in order to reflect upon who one is in relationship to his faith. Ultimately, the question to be emphasized regards one’s identity in relationship to G-d.

If the community becomes a replacement for this primary relationship, and participation eclipses one’s personal sense of faith, what is the solution? A personal commitment to exploration of one’s faith through prayer, and reflection in solitude may provide an answer to the dilemma.