inspiration – The Tree of Life

Holy Ground, Ordinary Lives

The Consequences of Moral Choices

Our choices in life make a difference each and every day. Living on holy ground, recognizing the sacredness of the ordinary; realizing, that in every moment we can choose to side with our values, as informed by our belief, or run counter to our sense of morality. Yet, in making the wrong moral choices for ourselves, scripture shows that we may become distanced from G-d, until we do teshuvah (repentance). G-d encourages us to make the right decisions for ourselves and choose life.

What are your thoughts on the relationship between free will and the consequences for our decisions in life?

A Morsel of Bread

It occurred to me, that there is a simple lesson that can be drawn from Abraham’s encounter with the three angels. When Abraham says to them, “I will fetch a morsel of bread” for you, he was speaking out of modesty, as well as deference to his angelic visitors. Commentary reads, that the righteous say little and do much. So, when Abraham brough back a meal that constituted a small feast, his actions served as a testimony to his righteousness.

In practical application, my thoughts are the following: When attempting to dialogue with others about important topics, especially, if viewpoints collide, giving someone a little bit of information, i.e., only “a morsel,” may eventually make a greater impact, if said with thoughtfulness, out of respect toward the other person. This may be better than attempting to overwhelm the other person, perhaps, inadvertently, with too much information, that might only compel the other to become defensive.

I speak from experience, inasmuch that I fear that I often end up overwhelming others with too many words, as if I am trying to assert myself and my own viewpoints. I think that it better to let others reflect on a few choice words, spoken in sincerity. With that in mind, words will not seem bitter in taste to the other person. And, perhaps, the ideas conveyed will also be more easily digested.

Although, this brief rendering of a practical application of Torah may seem like a tangent, I felt compelled to speak my mind, in hopes that these words in and of themselves will make an impression on others. Especially, because this is such a significant topic – how to converse with others in a divided world – I hope that this could make a small dent in the rampant divisiveness between individuals, and groups of people today. Respectfully yours, Tzvi Fievel

shiur: Shabbat Shuvah 5784

After Adam and Chava ate from the Tree of Knowledge, H’Shem called to Adam, “Where art thou?” (Genesis 3:9, JPS, 1917 Tanach). He responded, “I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid… so I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10, JPS 1917 Tanach). Adam’s shame compelled him to hide himself. Yet, G-d is all-knowing, as well as omnipresent (everywhere present). He surely knew where Adam was. Then, why did he ask, “Where are you?” The answer often given, is that G-d was challenging Adam’s own awareness, in effect, asking, “Where are you” in your relationship with me?

We learn in the Book of Isaiah that sin separates us from G-d (Isaiah 59:2). Adam and Chava (Eve) lost the oneness that they had with H’Shem; as a result of their transgression, they were expelled from Gan Eden, for having partaken from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Up until that point, everything that they experienced in Gan Eden was in one accord with H’Shem, a nondual perspective. Yet, after eating from the tree that was forbidden to eat from, they became aware of good and evil. For this reason, even today, there is not only the external manifestation of good and evil in the world; there is also an admixture of good and bad in everything we do.

Like Adam and Chava, we cannot hide from H’Shem. He knows our thoughts, speech and behavior. Sin separates us from Him; the path to return is through actually admitting our transgressions, unlike the first couple, who circumvented G-d’s questions. At this time of year, during the Ten Days of Awe, and especially on Shabbat Shuvah (the Sabbath of Return), we are all asked, “Where are you?” G-d is prompting us to reveal our sins to Him. Yet, sometimes, our sins may be hidden from ourselves; in this case, we may ask Him to reveal our sins to us. Gemar chatimah tovah – a good final sealing.

The Pardon

Elul Preparation: Day 27 – The Pardon

In regard to the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, we should keep in mind, that when a sin is committed we may appeal to G-d’s mercy. When we receive G-d’s forgiveness, we are pardoned for our transgression. This is also encapsulated in the thirteen attributes, “forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (Exodus 34:7).

The question may be asked whether or not thorough G-d’s mercy, His forgiveness also includes atonement. The main requirement for atonement is repentance, or in Hebrew, teshuvah, a return to G-d. This is the start of reconciliation between G-d and man.

Yet, this is a two-way interaction, that through G-d’s mercy, we are forgiven. However, teshuvah requires a change of heart, and commitment to not only abstain from sin; rather also, to do good. Therefore, we must compel ourselves to undertake an effort to be proactive in endeavors that will benefit the soul. Several undertakings are recommended:

It is written elsewhere that the study of Torah and acts of loving-kindness (gemilut chasadim) atone for sin (Talmud, tractate Berachos). This may be understood as two ingredients in the overall “recipe” for teshuvah. So, that rather than the effects of sin lingering, or being prone to fall back into sin, these two endeavors should guard us against future sin.

Add to this the recital of the thirteen attributes, in an earnest appeal to H’Shem. In acknowledgment that we cannot stand on our own, we must keep these in mind. When we recite these during the High Holiday services, a sense of humility should be fostered in our hearts as we acknowledge our spiritual weakness, and His merciful response to us.

Elul Preparation: Day 20

“The lion roars, who will not fear?” -Amos 3:8

During the month of Elul, H’Shem elicits awe from His people. The Bnei Yissacher further explains, that this verse specifically relates to this season, because the word for lion in Hebrew, aryeh, is an acronym for Elul, Rosh HaSHannah, Yom Kippur and Hoshanna (Rabbah).

Imagine a lion, the king of the beasts, roaring to awaken all who fear him. Yiras H’Shem, a sense of awe, respect and reverence toward G-d is awakened in us this month, as we approach Yom HaDin (the Day of Judgment) for the New Year.

Let us prepare in earnest this year, by searching our conscience, and strengthening our devotion to H’Shem. Whatever has faltered in our efforts over the past year, may they be revived. And, may we receive new life, springing up within us, as a result of our efforts.

Searching for Meaning

Searching for Meaning in a World of Chaos

Challenging others with the truth, out of compassion, is a noble effort. Yet, the kind of truth that is able to stand on its own is different than a personal truth, that is more like an opinion. Moreover, often what people claim to believe is based upon their unsubstantiated feelings. Otherwise, their truth claims are nothing more than narratives that they are parroting from a news source, without actually investigating for themselves.

I myself am guilty, and have been so in my younger years to a greater degree of going along with the flow of ideas, stances, and positions that my friends held. I was not inclined to think for myself, nor reflect upon this, that or the other issue. Not until I began to strengthen my connection to G-d and His word, did I even begin to understand myself or others. It was as if I had been wavering in life, because I was disconnected from my Source.

If we neglect our connection to G-d, this may be as a consequence of our focus in life being elsewhere; especially, in the case of those who are caught up in a cause or ideology. Incidentally, perhaps, one of the reasons why the so-called “social justice movement” is flourishing is because participating in the movement gives some direction, meaning, and purpose to a person’s life.

I would contend that the void created by the diminishment of religious belief amongst this generation opens the doorway to the human yearning for meaning to be filled by some other means. Yet, the particularly vacuous nature of the Woke Movement, wherein nihilism abounds in the sense that meaning, purpose, and experience are subjective, will lead to the realization for some, that the soul is still undernourished. Hopefully, it will occur to mankind, when engulfed in such an empty set of pseudo-values, that there must be something more transcendent, that exists outside of our own subjectivity.

Elul Preparation: Day 19

What is the practical meaning of diligence? והיה עקב תשמעון “And, it shall come to pass, if you diligently observe…” (Deuteronomy 7:12). The word eikev literally means heel, implying the end of something. The Bnei Yissacher associates this verse with the end of the year on the Hebrew calendar, pertaining to the last month, Elul.

It is a time when returning to G-d, we should focus on being more diligent our understanding and observance of the commandments. Our diligence will manifest itself in different ways, depending on what is most important to each of us on the derech (path).

During the month of Elul our teshuvah is elicited from H’Shem. This is referred to as an arousal from Above (Heaven). Yet, it is up to us to remain committed to that initial motivation – the first positive inclinations that draw us toward a complete return to G-d in Elul.

Breaking the Spell

from Darkness into Light: a personal revelation of faith

I was recently inspired by a speaker at a luncheon, after morning services at the place of worship that I attend every Sabbath. He spoke about his experience in the Israeli military, as a commander in the Golani Brigade, leading his unit on a dangerous mission in 2014, during Operation Protective Edge. The mission was accomplished, yet, at a significant cost to his unit.

He went through a year of rehabilitation in the hospital, and continued to suffer from PTSD. I asked him when he began speaking. He responded, that he began speaking several years ago. I followed up with a question, Did speaking publicly help with PTSD? He responded immediately in the affirmative, stating that it is therapy for him.

This resonated with me. And, the timing, around my own hesitance to begin speaking openly about my own experience is more than a coincidence. With that said, I will begin to recount, in as much detail that I am able to provide at this time, my own narrative, concerning my experience the before, during, and after, participation in a New Age Millenarian Therapy Cult.

To start with, for myself, and others who have been in a cult, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is invariably something to contend with by all ex-cult members, regardless of what type of cult they have been in. For myself, to begin bringing these things out into the open is like breaking a spell, so that I may be liberated from the chains to my past that bind me.

In fact, it wasn’t until five years after I broke free from my therapist, that a counselor at the False Memory Syndrome Foundation in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania took the time to explain to me that I actually was being held as a “mental hostage” all of those years. Thus began, at that time, an objective inquiry into what I had actually been subjected to all of those years.

Darkness into Light

Recently, I have been reflecting upon whether or not to begin disclosing material of a personal nature, especially in regard to my past. The primary question of mine has been how to bring the experience of my past out into the open with friends and family. However, it struck me that it might be easier to do so, even in a more comprehensive way, via one of the platforms whereof I have been presenting my thoughts on what is most important to me – my religious path.

For it is solely my connection to G-d that has brought me through everything that I have been dealing with for decades. The aftermath of what I went through still resides in my heart, in need of redemption from the shadows that still surround that experience, so many years ago. What better way to reclaim my past, by bringing out into the light, what remains hidden, in the darkness of my psyche.

My background in psychology has helped me to review my experience in a more objective manner, than if I did not have that background; yet, the emotional components remain stuck to some degree, only showing up in ways that may be considered as maladaptive coping mechanisms with material that has yet to be resolved from the perspective of therapy. I am my own therapist; and, G-d is my mentor. This is how it’s been more or less, ever since I escaped from a New Age Millenarian therapy cult in 1994.

I may decide to create an accompanying video for each topic that I delve into, so as to go into more depth on that topic, in an up-front, candid, honest way, beyond what is possible through the more cerebral process of writing. For, I only now realized what has been influencing me subconsciously to withhold disclosure about my experience in the therapy cult: an implicit threat against talking about the nature of the therapy sessions, made by my therapist years ago.

Holy Discomfort

If the animal soul is neglected, as required to follow the pursuits of the godly soul, how will this affect the psyche? The soul may be nourished by the righteousness that ensues on the derech (path), when it applies itself to study and prayer. Yet, the resistance from the animal soul may manifest in unpleasant feelings, because it is being deprived of its way upon the person. So, there is the soul, with all of its attributes, divided into the godly soul, and animal soul. Yet, these two are part of the whole. Therefore, both affect the person, within the framework of mind, body, and spirt.

In a sense, the distaste that the animal soul has for things spiritual may show up as negative emotions, that wear upon the person. Is this a sign that something is wrong with the person? On the contrary, it is like the feelings and discomfort we have when fasting on Yom Kippur. We are fasting for the sake of our soul; yet, the accompanying unpleasantness of the fast are a sign that it is working, like purifying us from the dross, until we are refined.

So even that well know adage from the secular world of exercise applies: no pain, no gain. If G-d made all things holy, wholly pleasant to the soul, without any resistance from the yetzer hara (stemming from the animal soul), then it would be easy to do good, and what reward could there be for that? Rather, because of the challenges and difficulties that oppose our endeavors to follow the path of righteousness, we are rewarded, both in this life, and the World to Come.