The Tree of Life

The Paradox of Change

The Paradox of Change: The Key to Teshuvah

On the one hand, we are to look forward to the changes brought about within us, by our essential focus on G-d in our lives, for our own good. On the other hand, the constant renewal of our soul, every morning, being open to the existential shift in our nature, is dependent upon our commitment to the unchanging G-d, whose attributes remain the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Our lives our meant to revolve around Him, not the other way around. So, while we are shaped in His image, we cannot arbitrarily shape Him in our own image. While we are called upon to meet His expectations, we may not expect Him to change because of our expectations of Him. We must bend our own will, in order to serve Him at times of resistance; yet, we must not think that His will may make exceptions to meet our unjust demands.

While it is true that Abraham attempted to haggle with G-d, for the sake of the righteous, his cause was just. We are not on the level of righteousness of Abraham. And, while Jacob wrestled with the divine, and was given the victory, his transformation from Jacob the deceiver to Israel the upright was whole, sincere, and well-earned. Are we able to foster such commitment in ourselves?

The trajectory of our lives, as well as the prescribed course to follow to bring about spiritual transformation must be fixed upon the Immoveable One’s axis of reference, namely the collection of writings having to do with an exposition of His will for all of mankind, according to each one’s station in life. For, it is written of Abraham, “in thee and thy seed, shall all the families of the earth be blessed” (Genesis 28:1, PS).

Therefore, there is no room for allowance of drifting outside the path that is both at once engraved in our hearts, and brought about each day into an unfolding reality that previously did not exist. For each moment of time has a potential beyond what we can conceive of with our limited perception. G-d is Infinite, and He is perfectly capable of bringing about improvement in our souls, beyond our own expectations.

This is not only true for the ba’al teshuvah, who is in need of a constant attitude of openness to godly change in order to continually reconcile with G-d. Rather, this is also true for anyone who has already been on the derech since childhood, being raised in an environment whereof a religious upbringing was key.

The Nature of Perception

It’s taught in chasidism, as an essential point of the Chasidic worldview, that everything that happens within an individual’s sphere of personal experience is meant for a reason. The Ramchal in Mesillas Yesharim (the Path of the Just) also teaches that everything in our lives is meant to bring us closer to H’Shem. If we consider these integral precepts of Yiddishkeit in regard to the sin of the spies, who brought back an ill report of the land, how can this concept be applied?

One way, might be to view their failure to recognize the inherent kedusha of the land, and focus on the negative aspects instead, is to understand that they fell prey to the forces of tumah that influenced their souls in a manner that tainted their perspective and mission. This is the challenge that we all face today: how to find the kedushah – the concealed blessing within everything in our lives, despite any negative characteristics that conceal the hidden kernel of truth.

When ten of the twelve spies, excepting Joshua and Caleb, viewed themselves in comparison to the local inhabitants of the land of Canaan, they saw themselves as grasshoppers. Yet, perhaps, in that moment they were meant to cry out to H’Shem, like the worm in the story of hasgacha peratis (divine guidance) given over by the Baal Shem Tov, Because of the heat of the day, the worm, baking in the sun cried out to G-d, who sent a wind that shook a leaf from a tree, that subsequently landed on top of the worm to guard it from the searing hot rays of the sun.

When the ten spies perceived that the Children of Israel were incapable to defeat the giants of the land, they should have immediately cried out to H’Shem to help them conquer the land. They would have grown in humility and appreciation of H’Shem’s continuous power to assist them in all challenges. They would have reached the next level in trust of H’Shem. Yet, they failed to meet this expectation as set forth before them by the challenge at hand.

So, there are two ways of responding to situations like this in our own lives. To continue to put one foot in front of the other, while keeping our thoughts on H’Shem, or to turn around in defeatism, as if we have no other source to rely on other than ourselves. I believe that the challenges will continue to increase in this world as we draw closer to H’Shem through fostering our own dependence on Him. May we have success in continuously meeting these tests, meant to refine our character, and bring us into an increasing awareness of our need to rely upon the strength of H’Shem in our lives.

The cares and worries of the world will melt before us, when we realize that a constant focus on H’Shem through prayer, mitzvot, and Torah will enable us to succeed in transcending the mundanity of the world. This will bring us to an awareness of the kedushah present in our souls, when we reflect the kavod (glory) of H’Shem by acting in accordance with His will. Thus, ideally, we may become impervious to the earthly concerns that most people focus on to the exclusion of ruchniyos (spirituality). If we focus on our responsibilities toward G-d, then gashmiyos (material concerns) will no longer plague us.

This does not mean that we will have everything we want in life; rather, it means that G-d will provide what we need, and what we don’t have won’t bother us. Our primary duties in life are toward Him, so, by pleasing our Father in Heaven, we will be free from the entanglements of a mundane nature on earth.

If the things of this world, such as the acquisition of wealth, our reputation, and conformity to the things that the secular population think of as important in this life, weigh heavily upon our hearts, then we should let that burden go. Let go and let G-d reign in our heart instead. As mentioned elsewhere, in regard to the upside-down values of this world: it’s a topsy turvy world, the things important on earth are not significant in Heaven and the least of things on earth are regarded highly in Heaven (paraphrase, Talmud: Pesachim 50a).

motzei Shelach 5783

motzei Shabbos: parasha Shelach 5783 – First of the Dough

“Ye shall also give unto the priest the first of your dough, to cause a blessing to rest on thy house.” – Ezekiel 44:30, JPS 1917 Tanach

Sforno notes the extraordinary way the commandment, “of the first of your dough ye shall set apart a cake for a gift” (Numbers 15:20) was fulfilled, when Elijah requested of the widow of Zarephath, “make me thereof a little cake first” (1 Kings 17:13, JPS). He promised: “The jar of meal shall not be spent, neither shall the cruse of oil fail” (17:14). And, it was so, for her and her son, as well as Elijah whom she provided for as well (7:15). Thus, we can see the blessings bestowed upon her, for having honored Elijah the prophet.

Jewish tradition assigns to Elijah the role of testing others kindness, by asking them to go out of their way to help a stranger, whom is actually Elijah in disguise. In our own lives, we may never know the significance of a unique opportunity to help out others, who depend on our kindness for their very survival. Neither can they reward us, like Elijah rewarded the widow. Yet, H’Shem will bestow blessings upon us, especially for going out of the way to help strangers.

parasha Shelach 5783

weekly Torah reading: parasha Shelach 5783

“‘We came unto the land whither thou sentest us, and surely it floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it.’”

– Numbers 13:27, JPS 1917 Tanach

“H’Shem spoke unto Moshe, saying: ‘Send thou men, that they may spy out the land of Canaan’” (Numbers 13:1-2, JPS). Yet, this does not give the complete details, as later revealed in Torah. In Deuteronomy, it is written, “Behold, the L-RD thy G-d hath set the land before thee; go up, take possession, as the L-RD, the G-d of thy fathers, hath spoken unto thee; fear not, neither be dismayed” (Deuteronomy 1:21, JPS).

These are words of encouragement; however, the people responded with caution, requesting of Moshe, “Let us send men before us, that they may search the land” (Deuteronomy 1:22, JPS). This is the prior conversation between Moshe and the people, before the opening words of the parasha, where H’Shem literally says, “if you would like to send men, send men for yourself.”

In other words, H’Shem left the decision to Moshe, whether to grant the request of the people to send out spies into the land of Canaan. Previously, B’nei Yisrael had been told that they “would inherit their land, a land that flows with milk and honey” (Leviticus 20:24). When the ten spies spoke of the fruit of the land, including a cluster of grapes, carried by four men, on two sets of poles, and also a giant pomegranate, they concurred that the land was “truly, a land of milk and honey.”

Yet, the rest of their report was disparaging. As a result, the morale of the people declined. Only Joshua and Caleb tried to compel them to see another perspective – the land was good, and they could enter, and defeat the local inhabitants. Because the people were already convinced by the other ten spies that they could not conquer the land, they opposed Joshua and Caleb and declined to enter. This indicated a lack of trust that brought the decree from H’Shem for them to wander for forty years in the wilderness.

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parasha Beha’alotecha 5783

weekly Torah reading: parasha Beha’alotecha 5783

“In the second year, in the second month, on the twentieth day of the month, that the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle of the testimony.” – Numbers, 10:11, JPS 1917 Tanach

B’nei Yisrael had been encamped at the base of Mount Sinai for ten days under a year. When the Cloud lifted up from above the encampment, that was the signal to journey to the next location. “And the cloud of the L-RD was over them by day, when they set forward from the camp” (Numbers 10:34, JPS 1917 Tanach). Thus, did he Children of Israel move out in the formation that was previously established for them, according to the designated order.

First the tribe of Judah, then, as they began to march, the tabernacle would be disassembled, and placed in the care of the three Levite families. Two of the families followed the tribe of Judah; the third Levite family followed the tribe of Reuben. The rest of the tribes followed in formation behind them. “Whenever the cloud was taken up from over the Tent, then after that the children of Israel journeyed; and in the place where the cloud abode, there the children of Israel encamped” (Numbers 9:17, JPS).

Let us consider how G-d’s Presence guided the B’nei Yisrael, during the wandering in the desert. “Thou goest before them, in a pillar of cloud by day, and in a pillar of fire by night” (Numbers 14:14, JPS). This points toward H’Shem’s role in our lives to guide us in the right direction, to be a compass in an uncertain world, and a light in the darkness. On our journeys through life, we may seek G-d’s presence within the obscurity of our understanding, and gain clarity.

parasha Beha’alotecha 5783 – 5th aliyah

weekly Torah reading: parasha Beha’alotecha 5783

– 5^th aliyah (Numbers 10:11-34)

“And it came to pass in the second year, in the second month on the twentieth day of the month, that the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle of the testimony.” – Numbers 10:11, JPS 1917 Tanach

Ten days under a year after arriving at the base of Mount Sinai, the encampment received Holy Word to pack up gear and move on: for “the cloud lifted from the Tabernacle of the Testimony” (Numbers 10:11). Thus, the Divine Sign was given to journey to the next encampment, location to be announced. The twelve tribes of Israel proceeded to move out in a predetermined, orderly fashion. This included the three Levite families transporting the accoutrements of the Mishkan.

Moshe’s father-in-law, Yisro is invited to accompany B’nei Yisrael on their journey. He is referred to in this passage as “Hobab,” from the word for “love,” seemingly so, because he was given a new name upon becoming part of Israel. Yet, he appears to decline the offer. Even so, Moshe entreats him (10:32), saying that he will receive the same bounty that is received by Israel. Although the Torah remains silent on whether or not he accompanied them at that time, it appears that he did. Indeed, his descendants were eventually given a tract of land near Jericho.

On our own journeys through life, as we move from one place to another, whether physically, or spiritually there is not always as much fanfare as there was within the parameters given for B’’nei Yisrael’s departures. The cloud would ascend, the trumpets were blown, and the banners for each tribe waved in the air as the procession began. Yet, in consideration of our inclusion with K’lal Yisrael (All of Israel), we may attach ourselves to the moadim (the appointed times) on the Hebrew calendar, committing ourselves to proceed throughout the year, according to the various events commemorated as a people. This is our heritage.

parasha Nasso 5783

weekly Torah reading: parasha Nasso (Numbers 4:21 – 7:89) 5783

“Speak unto the children of Israel: When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to commit a trespass against the L-RD, and that soul be guilty; then shall they confess their sin which they have done.”

– Numbers 5:6-7, JPS 1917 Tanach

According to Rambam (Maimonides), this verse is the basis of vidui (confession), within the context of teshuvah (repentance). “And shall make reparation in full” (Numbers 5:7). This latter part of the pasuk (verse) denotes reparations made to others, if the aveirah (transgression) is against another person. It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word for reparation is from the same shoresh (root), shuv (to return) as teshuvah (repentance). Essentially, repentance is a return to H’Shem (the L-RD). “Let us return unto the L-RD” (Hosea 5:15b, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Maimonides offers a basic example of how to approach vidui (confession): “I beseech Thee, O Great Name! I have sinned; I have been obstinate; I have committed [profane acts] against Thee, particularly in doing thus and such. Now, behold! I have repented and am ashamed of my actions; forever will I not relapse into this thing again.” He further states that whoever takes it upon him or herself to further elaborate, is considered praiseworthy. Nachman of Breslov notes that one measure of having done a complete teshuvah (return to H’Shem), is if in the same situation wherein had previously sinned, this time, avoids sin in the given situation.

post Shavuot reflection 5783

As we descend from Sinai, after the receiving of the Torah anew in our lives, may we be compelled to reflect upon our experience, and bring the light and wisdom of the Torah forward with us day by day.

May H’Shem grant us the discernment to apply these teachings to our everyday challenges, and spread the light throughout the mundane as well as the sacred times. That all truth may flourish above and beyond the lies.

Shavuot 5783 Mattan Torah

“And it came to pass on the third day, when it was morning, that there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of a horn exceeding loud; and all the people that were in the camp trembled. ” – Exodus 19:16, JPS 1917 Tanach

At Mount Sinai, the people in the camp trembled at the awesome display of H’Shem’s Presence, amidst the thunder and lightning. The people’s sense of yiras H’Shem (fear, awe, and reverence towards the L-RD) was elicited by the spectacular display, when the Commandments were given to B’nei Yisrael through Moshe (Moses). This may serve as an example for us, when we gather ourselves together, in order to receive the Torah anew in our lives on the day of Shavuot. The thunder and lightening that humbled the people at Sinai, demonstrates the importance of yiras H’Shem for our own lives. “The fear of H’Shem is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10).

When we seek to develop awe, reverence, and proper respect towards H’Shem, we are planting a foundation within us that will bring wisdom and understanding into our lives (see also Proverbs 9:10). G-d seeks to bring our heart into alignment with His ways, by compelling us to seek teshuvah, that we may start anew. The powerful reminder of thunder is a natural occurrence that should serve as a wake-up call. According to the Talmud, thunder was created for this very purpose (Berachos 59a). “G-d hath so made it, that men should fear before Him” (Ec. 3:14, JPS).

On Shavuot, we stand once again, ready to leave our personal Mitzraim behind us, as we renew our commitment to keep the Covenant made at Mt. Sinai with B’nei Yisrael. We may also seek the realization of G-d’s promise, “I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel.” As is written, “I will put My law in their inward parts, and in their heart will I write it; and I will be their G-d, and they shall be My people” (Jeremiah 31:31, 33, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Shavuot 5783 Renewal

Let us stand at Sinai, figuratively speaking, to receive the commandments anew. Further consider that when Moshe entered “the thick cloud” (Exodus 19:9) on Sinai, he was called even further, he “drew near unto the thick darkness where G-d was” (Exodus 20:18, JPS 1917 Tanach). This serves as an example for us, in our quest to grow closer to G-d. He is found within the darkness of our lives, concealed within the hardships, trials and tribulations.

We may ask ourselves, when will the clouds part, and the light begin to shine in our lives? Perhaps, there will be a parting of the clouds, when we learn how to transform the challenges in our lives, by using them as opportunities to seek G-d, so that His presence, may comfort us during our nisyanos (troubles). On Shavuot, let us be strengthened by G-d’s presence, so that we may enter back into our lives, renewed with godly strength and vigor, as a result of our own personal Sinai experience.