Tag: cults

Breaking the Spell

from Darkness into Light: a personal revelation of faith

I was recently inspired by a speaker at a luncheon, after morning services at the place of worship that I attend every Sabbath. He spoke about his experience in the Israeli military, as a commander in the Golani Brigade, leading his unit on a dangerous mission in 2014, during Operation Protective Edge. The mission was accomplished, yet, at a significant cost to his unit.

He went through a year of rehabilitation in the hospital, and continued to suffer from PTSD. I asked him when he began speaking. He responded, that he began speaking several years ago. I followed up with a question, Did speaking publicly help with PTSD? He responded immediately in the affirmative, stating that it is therapy for him.

This resonated with me. And, the timing, around my own hesitance to begin speaking openly about my own experience is more than a coincidence. With that said, I will begin to recount, in as much detail that I am able to provide at this time, my own narrative, concerning my experience the before, during, and after, participation in a New Age Millenarian Therapy Cult.

To start with, for myself, and others who have been in a cult, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is invariably something to contend with by all ex-cult members, regardless of what type of cult they have been in. For myself, to begin bringing these things out into the open is like breaking a spell, so that I may be liberated from the chains to my past that bind me.

In fact, it wasn’t until five years after I broke free from my therapist, that a counselor at the False Memory Syndrome Foundation in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania took the time to explain to me that I actually was being held as a “mental hostage” all of those years. Thus began, at that time, an objective inquiry into what I had actually been subjected to all of those years.

Darkness into Light

Recently, I have been reflecting upon whether or not to begin disclosing material of a personal nature, especially in regard to my past. The primary question of mine has been how to bring the experience of my past out into the open with friends and family. However, it struck me that it might be easier to do so, even in a more comprehensive way, via one of the platforms whereof I have been presenting my thoughts on what is most important to me – my religious path.

For it is solely my connection to G-d that has brought me through everything that I have been dealing with for decades. The aftermath of what I went through still resides in my heart, in need of redemption from the shadows that still surround that experience, so many years ago. What better way to reclaim my past, by bringing out into the light, what remains hidden, in the darkness of my psyche.

My background in psychology has helped me to review my experience in a more objective manner, than if I did not have that background; yet, the emotional components remain stuck to some degree, only showing up in ways that may be considered as maladaptive coping mechanisms with material that has yet to be resolved from the perspective of therapy. I am my own therapist; and, G-d is my mentor. This is how it’s been more or less, ever since I escaped from a New Age Millenarian therapy cult in 1994.

I may decide to create an accompanying video for each topic that I delve into, so as to go into more depth on that topic, in an up-front, candid, honest way, beyond what is possible through the more cerebral process of writing. For, I only now realized what has been influencing me subconsciously to withhold disclosure about my experience in the therapy cult: an implicit threat against talking about the nature of the therapy sessions, made by my therapist years ago.

Truth Conquers All

1.

All of the firebrands that you have thrown at me,

have been deflected, landed in fertile soil, and,

transformed into pillars of truth to guide my life.

The blazing torches of lies, brandished in my face,

have been quenched by the streams of sanctity,

and extinguished by waters from the well of salvation.

I have been inoculated against future deception,

and strengthened against the cunning of the Great Deceiver.

I have regained my sanity in a world of chaos.

2.

I put one foot forward each and every day of my life,

on the road towards freedom from my past bondage,

held as a mental hostage, in the lairs of my nemesis.

Yet, when you appeared, my bonds were loosened,

my nightmare ended, and new horizons emerged.

Now, carried away by the Spirit, to new vistas,

I have tread upon the tail of the serpent,

and danced amongst my people reborn.