Life – The Tree of Life

The Values of Jacob

Jacob was a quiet man who lived in tents. Esau was a man of the wilderness; he sought out adventures. Specifically, Jacob is described as an ish tam, a simple, pure or wholesome man. Ish means man, tam is also described as upright. Because he lived in tents, Rashi infers that Jacob was a man with a contemplative nature. Esau was more of an extrovert, focused on worldly gain. Jacob’s character was worthy of qualifying him to be the heir who set the foundation of values for the Jewish people. His focus on uprightness and devotion to G-d set the tone for character and emphasis we should place upon ourselves toward G-d and man.

Although he deceived Esau, to receive the birthright, he was not comfortable about that, and later sought reconciliation. This week’s parasha opens with the potential for a conflict between Esau and Jacob. As background, Jacob had served Laban for twenty years, seven years originally for Rachel, although Laban fooled him into serving for Leah. Then, another seven years for Rachel, his preferred bride. He served and additional six years in order to acquire flocks of his own. He was a hard honest worker, who worked tirelessly for Laban, until he acquired so many flocks that it was time for him to go his own way.

He sends messengers (some say angels) ahead to Esau to let him know of his approach; yet, he receives word that Esau is on his way with 400 men of war. Jacob sends gifts ahead of him to appease Esau for his wrath over having the birthright stolen from him. Eventually, as he approached Esau, he bows down seven times before him, as he continues to walk toward him. Esau runs to him and embraces him. This appeasement of Esau on the part of Jacob serves as a model for the Jewish people in diplomacy.

Additionally, Jacob’s approach exemplifies the power of prayer over the sword, for he prayed to G-d for deliverance from his brother Esau, instead of going straight into battle with him. This should always be the first line of defense for the Jewish people. Also, in our own lives as individuals facing various challenges that constitute our struggles, we should seek assistance from G-d. We need to rely on HaShem to grant us success in all of our endeavors.

parasha Vayeishev 5785

It makes perfect sense for Yaakov’s son, Yoseph to also encounter an angelic being in the physical form of a man. In this week’s parasha, Vayeishev, Yoseph is sent on the mission to check up on his brothers, who are pasturing sheep at Shechem. When Yoseph seems to be meandering, and perhaps straying from his intended course to fulfill the task given to him by his father, grooming him as the next leader of the family, he happens to meet a man.

According to Rashi, this is the angel Gabriel, who points him in the right direction towards Dothan where he will find his brothers. Ramban explains, that “the Holy One, blessed be He, sent him a guide without his knowledge in order to bring him into their hands” (commentary on Genesis 3:15, sefaria.org). The significance of sending an angel is elaborated upon: it was necessary, so that the counsel of HaShem would be carried out (Proverbs 19:21).

This occurs against the backdrop of jealousy, already being harbored by his brothers, because of his dreams of superiority that he shared with his family. When he arrives, they take the opportunity to prevent him from gaining leadership over them, by selling him to passerby on their way to Egypt. We know the rest of the story of how Yoseph suffers, accused wrongly, landing up in jail, until he is released and ushered into Pharoah’s court.

Had he missed the mark, by not being able to find his brothers in Dothan that fateful day, he would not have been able to procure the means for preserving his family’s lives during the famine that ensued twenty-two years later. The question is what can we learn from this occurrence, whereof almost going astray, divine intervention leads him back upon his designated path in order to accomplish his divine mission?

In life, there are times that are crucial, for some future reckoning that we are unable to see down the road, that something needs to happen to keep the present in sync with the prescribed future of an individual. And, we cannot predict how that singular meeting, event, or decision will impact others after it plays out in the aftermath. These may be understood as choice points in our lives, where hashgacha peratis (divine guidance) plays a role in the unfolding of a situation for the sake of posterity.

Pesach Sheini 5784

Pesach Sheini – the Passover of Second Chances

Pesach Sheini, the second Passover, for those who were impure, according to the definition of Torah, or were on a distant journey. Pesach Sheini connotes the idea of second chances. The Israelites who were not able to observe Pesach were given a second chance, one month later, on Nissan 14, in order to do so.

Today, the concept may be applicable to the personal instances of our lives, when we were given a second chance of some nature. Traditionally, matzoh is eaten on Pesach Sheini, although there is no requirement to eat only matzah. Apropos of the theme, let us all consider the second chance to re-evaluate our lives in the face of the challenges ahead.

The redemptive quality of the day may be fostered by praying for our own liberation from any obstacles preventing us from becoming better versions of ourselves. Although, we cannot simply affect an upgrade to a “better version of ourselves,” without harnessing the transformative grace of HaShem. G-d is our Designer, so only in accord with the design of the soul, may we be transformed for the better: this is an inner-change on a spiritual level.

What does this encompass? How can we envision this change? It’s important to acknowledge and work through negative emotions so they don’t linger or affect us negatively. Moreover, because this involves the opportunity for change in the immediate sense, it should be less overwhelming than thinking about changing a negative character trait. It is of benefit to focus on the here and now, by making changes in the moment, beginning with our breath.

In focusing on our breath, and, taking some deep breaths, we can begin to become aware of our feelings. Especially, when we are experiencing negative emotions, we can sort out our feelings, by starting with breath and awareness. The next step is acknowledgment of what we are feeling.

After this acknowledgment, that might include identifying the feeling(s), it is important to accept how we feel, before exploring in depth with ourselves the origin of these feelings. This only requires the attention of our mind in the moment, to notice what thoughts or associations arise from the feelings.

In Judaism, there is a difference between feeling a negative emotion, such as anger, and acting upon it. It is forbidden to act on anger in an inappropriate manner. However, in our day to day lives, we can give pause to the feeling, and prevent ourselves from letting the emotional response cause to say or do something that we would regret.

The essence of a second chance, in a religious sense is teshuvah (repentance). However, this requires more than confession of past sins, shortcomings and failures. It requires a change of heart, wherein we seek to “return to G-d.” Teshuvah is from the shoresh (root word), shuv, meaning “to return.” We do so by avoiding the habitual sins of the past and starting anew.

Omer: Day 25 – One Life to Live

Netzach shebbe Netzach: Victory within Victory:

(The attribute of netzach may also be rendered as endurance).

Our place in this world, and our time in eternity is sweetened by the victory of life over death, as mentioned in the Book of Isaiah. “He will swallow up death for ever; and the L-RD G-D will wipe away tears from off all faces” (Isaiah 25:8, JPS 1917 Tanach).

G-d has placed eternity in our hearts, so that we might have a glimpse of eternity within us. We are able to aspire towards that eternity, having sensed a time and place of continual existence in our heart. Otherwise, what reward will we have at the end of a life well-lived? If we endure the challenges of this life, only for the sake of monetary gain, pleasure, or posterity, then we are being misled by the false promises of this world.

“This world is like a vestibule before the world to come; prepare yourself in the vestibule, that you mayest enter into the banquet hall” (Pirkei Avos 4:21). We are to prepare ourselves, through the refinement of our character, and living a morally upright life, according to G-d’s standard, for the sake of obtaining a good place in Olam Haba (the World to Come).

Omer: Day 24 – Balancing Challenges

Tiferes shebbe Netzach: Beauty within Endurance

Tiferes represents the ability to blend or harmonize opposites; thus, the strong-willed efforts to endure challenges in life, may require tenacity; yet, a measure of compassion for ourselves and others also plays a role. Endurance in regard to forbearance of others, is supported by compassion, mercy, and leniency towards others. Also, we would benefit from some show of compassion to ourselves, especially when our best efforts do not immediately amount to success. By acknowledging our mis-tries as stepping-stones, we can learn how to do better next time; this requires a certain amount of self-compassion, lest we judge ourselves too harshly for our failures.

The tenacity to endure the nisyanos (challenges) of our lives, especially when we are running low on reserves, may benefit from acknowledging that we are not superhumans; rather, we are beings built to be dependent on the earth, our fellow human beings, and G-d Himself. When we reach the point of exasperation, when we find ourselves barely able to cope, then we may note a sense of powerlessness. This is exactly when we should turn towards others for help; and, primarily, to accept that the only One who may be able to effect a situation from Above for the good, is the One who created the situation in the first place.

G-d has a divine plan for every individual; when we begin to see the challenges in our lives as tests that will bring us to the next level of spiritual improvement, then we may be in harmony with our circumstances, others, and G-d’s blueprint for our lives.

Omer Count: Day 23 – Soul Care

Gevurah shebbe Netzach

The motivating factor for endurance is discipline; in any endeavor, a regimen that is followed with discipline, will lead to endurance in that endeavor. The path to success, may be said to be paved with sweat, especially in regard to an exercise routine. Yet, to neglect the soul, while placing undue emphasis on the body, will lead towards spiritual undernourishment. Both body and soul are important aspects of human beings. While disciplining the body is an endeavor undertaken by many, who are concerned with well-being; the discipline of the soul is also necessary, and should be kept in mind, when dividing one’s time.

The two may complement each other; I am not advocating neglect of the body in favor of the soul. However, I imagine that in contemporary society, neglect of the soul may be all too common, and not necessarily due to an overemphasis on the body. Rather, any focus on the soul, is often diminished in favor of other preoccupations, such as entertainment, socialization, and internet use. The plight of an undernourished soul, think twice about what is important in life. For the soul is eternal, and, therefore, significantly more important to nourish; whereas, the body will be subject to entropy over time, and return to the dust.

What does discipline of the soul look like? Spending a few moments of quiet time at the beginning of the day, will lead towards a lasting benefit – a spiritual charge – that will continue throughout the day. Also, connecting to the soul in a meaningful way, before retiring in the evening, can help to settle the mind, and calm the nerves. So, there are practical advantages to soul care.

Omer Count: Day 22- chesed shebbe netzach

chesed shebbe netzach – the endurance of kindness

the continuity of the quality of kindness can only be approached as an ideal. Yet, HaShem, through His attribute of chesed, shows kindness toward us, even when we do not necessarily deserve to be treated with kindness from G-d. Sometimes, He will show His kindnesses to us, in order to win us over through His expression of love toward us. We may also show love in return towards Him through our obedience. To endure in right relationship towards Him, is no easy task; rather, G-d recognizes that we need to keep being drawn back to Him by some reminder, effort, or kindness on His part.

Chesed (kindness) may also be applied in our relationship to self and others. If we are kind to ourselves, we are more likely to treat others in the same manner; as is mentioned in Torah, to love your fellow human being as yourself (Leviticus 19:18). To extend love outwards beyond family and friends may seem like an impossibility; yet, the idea can at least be kept in mind, the next time, a challenging situation might occur. Instead of responding to others, whether family friends, or acquaintances in annoyance when something is less than perfect in our lives, remember that any relationship’s endurance is dependent on kindnesses.

Expressions of kindness are important. Kindness is more than a feeling. A smile, a kind act, or overlooking the other person’s faults: all of these and more will contribute to the endurance of a relationship.

note: The counting of the Omer serves as a spiritual journey. We are called upon to leave our own personal limitations behind us, as we travel on the path of freedom, away from the influence of negativity in our lives. This is a forty-nine day journey, a self improvement plan, between Passover and Shavuot. Each of the seven weeks corresponds to one of the seven middos (character traits) that we will have the opportunity to improve upon in our lives.

My personal reflections on each day’s combination of middot are not meant to be comprehensive; they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may my insights be characterized as authoritative, because I am a student, not a teacher. I simply hope to inspire others to delve into an exploration of their own personality, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul).

Omer: Day 21 – Balanced Autonomy

malchus shebbe tiferes – Balanced Autonomy

The sovereignty of G-d over His creation is tantamount to keeping order in the world, according to His frame of reference, a perspective that transcends our limited viewpoint. In our own lives, we are granted a certain amount of autonomy over ourselves, that should not be taken for granted. Therefore, we need to be responsible decision makers, while also recognizing that we cannot control all the circumstances of our life; even so, we can still choose how to respond in any given situation.

Our sense of autonomy is best taken into consideration with respect towards the greater context of our relationship with G-d, as well as our fellow human beings. With that in mind, reflect upon how important these relationships are to our own sense of well-being. No person is an island; we all need some amount of social interaction, to a greater or lesser degree, depending upon the individual. Additionally, as limited beings, we may benefit from turning towards G-d for comfort, guidance, and inspiration.

Acknowledging the value of others in our lives, helps us to comprehend, that an overall sense of harmony, is promoted by accepting the contributions that other people make to our well-being. Moreover, by respecting the autonomy and boundaries of others, we may be interdependent; yet, without treading upon one another’s toes.

The counting of the Omer serves as a spiritual journey. We are called upon to leave our own personal limitations behind us, as we travel on the path of freedom, away from the influence of negativity in our lives. This is a forty-nine-day journey, a self-improvement plan, between Passover and Shavuot. Each of the seven weeks corresponds to one of the seven middos (character traits) that we will have the opportunity to improve upon in our lives.

Omer Count: Day 20 – Building Wisely

Yesod shebbe Tiferes

What foundation have I built in order to bring harmony, meaning, and an overall sense of peace into my life? Am I the sort of person that permits myself “to go with the flow,” in hope that if I trust in the Universe, everything will work out for the best? Or, do I have a set of tangible principles, rules, and guidelines in my life, that governs my lifestyle, so that I might decide how to respond to the events in my life, rather than letting them passively shape me? Am I able to make wise decisions, based upon higher truths? Or do I go with the whim of my feelings, letting my emotions rule me instead?

“Build Thou the walls of Jerusalem” (Psalm 51:20, JPS 1917 Tanach). The walls of our foundation that will preserve our inner sense of peace are the protective measures that we put in place to preserve our values, so that the sanctity of our lives is not diminished by outside factors. A strong foundation built upon wisdom is necessary, in order to navigate the challenges of life. From where is your harmony derived in your life? Upon what kind of foundation do you build your peace of mind? Do you have a lasting peace of mind? Is there something that will contribute to the restoration of your soul, when you might be thrown off balance by the world?

Harmony and inner peace must be maintained, through returning, and returning again, each and every day of our lives to our central focus in life. If our focus is on G-d, then true peace is attainable through His presence.

Omer: Day 19 – A Sure Peace

Hod shebbe Tiferes: Humility within Harmony

Humility can serve to temper a false sense of harmony within, by compelling a soul to recognize that any sense of inner peace is often fragile, especially if that peace is not drawn from a higher source. Are we willing to admit to ourselves, that we are dependent on many circumstances, needs, and expectations to maintain a sense of peace? To think otherwise may be an overestimation of one’s own ability to secure sure peace of mind.

Yet, if we would like to be able to transcend our dependence on the requirements that we set for ourselves, in order to bring us a peace that may actually be a fragile peace, then, through recognition of our limitations, we may humble ourselves before G-d, in acknowledgment of the everlasting peace that can be provided only through Him. “The L-RD will bless His people with peace” (Psalm 29:11, JPS 1917 Tanach).

If we choose to follow the ways of HaShem through mitzvot, prayer, study, we will receive the blessings from Above that bring restoration to our lives and a lasting inner peace.