personal growth – The Tree of Life

Habitual Patterns, Eternal endeavors

Moving Past the Comfort Zone, One Step at a Time

The one who makes the extra effort to improve himself, by going beyond his or her established norm is doing well. In order to break a habit or move past one’s “comfort zone,” that first step is required. For example, in regard to breaking a habit, in the moment, one must change his mind, about continuing with whatever his compulsory drive is about to compel him to do.

In the case of moving out of one’s comfort zone, it is important to go the extra mile. So, to move forward, instead of settling for less than one’s potential is admirable. This effort is necessary, in order to serve God, according to our derech (path), for, we should not remain complacent (Likutei Amarim, end of chapter 15).

Taking that extra step towards freedom from the clutches of a negative habit, or compelling oneself to do even better in regard to a positive routine is what will bring us closer to the ideal person that we envision for ourselves.

In order to change the trajectory of a negative inclination, that if followed, would have only kept us in negativity, one must believe it is possible to succeed. Spiritual growth is not any different, theoretically, than efforts at discipline in regard to an exercise routine for the body. One more push up, every once in a while or an extra sit-up or two, proves to ourself that we have the potential to do more, if we set our minds to it.

This can also be understood in the realm of character development. For example, we may contribute to the benefit and welfare of others in some particular manner, such as giving a quarter to the nice lady on the corner, everyday, as we walk to the coffeeshop; yet, what about, stopping and saying “hi,” or simply, “G-d bless you.” These little extras add to the mitzvah. This same understanding of increasing the quality of good deed can be applied to other mitzvoth as well.

I am not talking about pushing oneself, as if one is not doing enough already; rather, to grow in a steady manner, as we see feasible for ourselves, and are inspired to do so. It is not necessarily about reaching the next level or rung on the ladder; rather, about meeting the moment with the effort that will prove our ability to pass a test with flying colors, like a ship returning from the battle.

Our battle is between our lesser inclination to remain static, and our higher inclination to improve ourselves, one embellishment at a time, beautifying the mitzvoth (good deeds) of our lives. For myself , I am learning how to focus more on the present moment rather than the incessant struggle to achieve for myself greater and greater spiritual status in my own eyes. So, it appears to be more about the journey, than the destination. These efforts will be granted a reward both in this life and Olam Haba (the World-to-Come).

Omer Count: Day One – Introduction and Synopsis

Road to Spiritual Improvement

overview, weekly synopsis, day one

The Omer Count – counting of the Omer – may serve as a spiritual journey from Egypt to Sinai. We are called upon to leave our own personal mitzraim (Egypt; from metzeir, meaning “limitations”) behind us, as we travel on the path of freedom, away from the influence of the yetzer hara (evil inclination). This is a forty-nine day journey, aka self improvement plan, that begins on the eve of the second day of Passover. Each of the seven weeks corresponds to one of the seven middos (character traits) that we will have the opportunity to improve upon in our lives. And, each day of the week focuses on one aspect of that quality.

The first week is devoted to the middah of Chesed: primarily love, expressed as kindness, mercy, and compassion. The expansiveness of chesed is opposite the constrictive quality of gevurah. Chesed has to do with an openness of personality, as well as a friendly attitude towards others. From a psychological perspective, chesed would be akin to a high rating on the the Big Five personality traits to agreeableness. When we give from the heart to others, we are giving with chesed.

Day 1 – chesed within chesed

The amount of kindness that we show to others, despite other traits that might be less conducive to friendliness, is dependent on how we view and treat ourselves. Genuine kindness is from a place of empathic consideration for the other. The mercy that we show to others, in times of weakness, when we might otherwise respond in a harsh manner, is a way of transcending the egotistical drives that fashion us as human beings, instincts that are mostly focused on ourselves. Yet, being truly human means to go beyond our comfort zone, by not giving in to our lesser inclinations and selfishness.

note: These are my personal reflections on the implications of today’s combination of middot (character traits). These reflections are not meant to be comprehensive, inasmuch that they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may these ideas be characterized as authoritative, because I profess to being a student, not a teacher. I hope to inspire others to delve into their own exploration of personality characteristics, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul).

Omer Count: Day One – Introduction and Synopsis

Road to Spiritual Improvement

overview, weekly synopsis, day one

Day 1 – chesed within chesed

My Mishnah Project

The study of the Mishnah encompasses a vast amount of detail, intricate discussions, and seemingly endless, yet finite possibilities in regard to halacha (Judaic law). Having finally begun this journey, after many years of intending to do so, I find my first endeavors intriguing, rewarding, and, fulfilling. I am already enriched by the experience. Thus, I am looking forward to continuing with this project.

What I realized is that there is an actual feeling of fulfillment for myself, in studying the Mishnah. My first impression was that the claim is true; in other words, that study of the Mishnah for the sake of honoring a loved one who has passed away is significant. If studying the Mishnah benefits the soul of the deceased, then, perhaps, there is also an affect on the soul of the one who studies. I find this to be true for myself, according to my own initial experience.

For, I feel a tangible sense of relief and renewal, now, after three years to the month after my father passed away. Up until this point, it is as if I had still been grieving for an extended period of mourning. Baruch H’Shem. Praise G-d for the light that may enter the soul through this effort. The letters that make up the word MiShNaH may be re-arranged to spell the word NeShaMaH. This is why the connection is made, in regard to the benefit of studying the Mishnah.

Seeking Meaning

“And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.” – Genesis 23:1, The Complete Jewish Tanach

Commentary notes that there is a specific reason that the word “years” appears after each component number of the total number of years of her life. Inasmuch as each time frame of her life is to be understood in a certain manner, the following rendering is given: her childhood, young adulthood, and adulthood were all equally good (based on Rashi). Imagine an equanimity of identity, intention, and purpose spanning the entirety of a life – this was the life of Sarah.

This may be contrasted with the lives of many people in modernity. Common language, currently describes different formative years in a negative way, for example, the terrible twos, the rebellious adolescence, and the burdensome task of “finding oneself” given to the young adult. Also, consider the pressure of higher-level education, and earlier, placing the burden of choosing an area of interest upon the student, before he or she may be ready to decide upon a profession. In like manner that so many teenagers and young adults change their image, interests, and friendships; college-bound students and university freshman change their majors.

And what of the often turbulent years of the teenager, as well as the young adult, especially if one’s formative years were actually not so formative? “Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, JPS 1917 Tanach). There is a continuum, expressed by Erikson, between “identity cohesion and role confusion,” especially during adolescence; yet, a cohesive identity may be formed as the result of parental instruction and role modeling. Additionally, each child may be brought up in accordance with his or her own personality, and learning style. This is not a task that can simply be relegated to the teachers where the child attends school.

Unless an individual embarks upon a steady path, replete with a moral component, then how can one navigate the vicissitudes of life? Too often, the formula of permitting the youth to experience life for themselves, without providing any clear guideposts, is the one taken by parents who have been influenced by the permissiveness of societal norms. Yet, there is still something to say for those throughout the world who are brought up within a more traditional framework. This would include those within cultures that embrace traditional morality, as well as those that uphold religious values.

The monotheism embraced by both Abraham and Sarah served as a rallying cry for their newfound beliefs, whereof each was committed to a high degree of sanctity in their lives, despite the idolatry and diminished moral sphere of the surrounding peoples of that time. Eventually, the three Abrahamic faiths influenced the world in a manner, whereby many people were called to a higher standard.

Comparatively speaking, as the standard of the world seems to decline in more recent times, it is even more important to plan a trajectory for our own lives, those of our children, and the future of society, even in the midst of societal breakdowns. We need a return to an unadulterated life of stability, purposeful intent, and commitment; instead of the rampant nihilism, experimenting, and seeking of entertainment, so common in modern society. May the pure, devoted, and moral life of Sarah serve as an example for us to seek meaning and the utmost good for our lives.

“Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”

– Proverbs 29:18, JPS 1917 Tanach

Omer Count: Day One – Overview

The Road to Spiritual Improvement

overview, weekly synopsis, day one

16 Nissan 5781
March 29, 2021

The Omer Count – counting of the Omer – may serve as a spiritual journey of sorts from Egypt to Sinai. We are called upon to leave our own personal mitzraim (Egypt; from metzeir, meaning “limitations”) behind us, as we travel on the path of freedom, away from the influence of the yetzer hara (evil inclination). This is a forty-nine day journey, aka self improvement plan, that begins on the eve of the second day of Passover. Each of the seven weeks corresponds to one of the seven middos (character traits) that we will have the opportunity to improve upon in our lives.

The first week is devoted to the middah of Chesed: primarily love, expressed as kindness, mercy, and compassion. The expansiveness of chesed is opposite the constrictive quality of gevurah. Chesed has to do with an openness of personality, as well as a friendly attitude towards others. From a psychological perspective, chesed would be akin to a high rating on the The Big Five personality traits to agreeableness. When we give from the heart to others we are giving with chesed.

Day 1 – chesed within chesed

What follows consists of my personal reflections on the implications of today’s combination of middot (character traits). These reflections are not meant to be comprehensive, inasmuch that they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may these ideas be characterized as authoritative, because I profess to being a student, not a teacher. I hope to inspire others to delve into an exploration of their personality, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul).