personal improvement – The Tree of Life

The Values of Jacob

Jacob was a quiet man who lived in tents. Esau was a man of the wilderness; he sought out adventures. Specifically, Jacob is described as an ish tam, a simple, pure or wholesome man. Ish means man, tam is also described as upright. Because he lived in tents, Rashi infers that Jacob was a man with a contemplative nature. Esau was more of an extrovert, focused on worldly gain. Jacob’s character was worthy of qualifying him to be the heir who set the foundation of values for the Jewish people. His focus on uprightness and devotion to G-d set the tone for character and emphasis we should place upon ourselves toward G-d and man.

Although he deceived Esau, to receive the birthright, he was not comfortable about that, and later sought reconciliation. This week’s parasha opens with the potential for a conflict between Esau and Jacob. As background, Jacob had served Laban for twenty years, seven years originally for Rachel, although Laban fooled him into serving for Leah. Then, another seven years for Rachel, his preferred bride. He served and additional six years in order to acquire flocks of his own. He was a hard honest worker, who worked tirelessly for Laban, until he acquired so many flocks that it was time for him to go his own way.

He sends messengers (some say angels) ahead to Esau to let him know of his approach; yet, he receives word that Esau is on his way with 400 men of war. Jacob sends gifts ahead of him to appease Esau for his wrath over having the birthright stolen from him. Eventually, as he approached Esau, he bows down seven times before him, as he continues to walk toward him. Esau runs to him and embraces him. This appeasement of Esau on the part of Jacob serves as a model for the Jewish people in diplomacy.

Additionally, Jacob’s approach exemplifies the power of prayer over the sword, for he prayed to G-d for deliverance from his brother Esau, instead of going straight into battle with him. This should always be the first line of defense for the Jewish people. Also, in our own lives as individuals facing various challenges that constitute our struggles, we should seek assistance from G-d. We need to rely on HaShem to grant us success in all of our endeavors.

Changeability

Teshuvah (repentance) is supposed to bring us to a place of reconciliation with G-d. The soul is malleable, by way of impacting character, in an effort to improve ourselves. It’s as if the soul is restored to its original splendor, when we align ourselves with G-d’s ways, as opposed to those of our own that are malproductive. This is the true essence of change, not a passive shift that occurs only with the passage of time. Rather, through continual focus on having our values be in accord with our actual self. More than an intellectual endeavor, the existential shift opens up in the moment, step by step.

parasha Re’eh 5785

“Unto the place which the L-RD your G-d shall choose out of all your tribes to put His name there, even unto His habitation shall ye seek, and thither come.”

– Deuteronomy 12:5, JPS 191 Tanach

The Jewish people are to direct their activities toward the hope and aspiration of fulfilling the essence of the commandments. We learn this from understanding that the Children of Israel were instructed not to worship other gods in places where other nations had done so, nor to worship HaShem in like manner that other gods were worshipped. Rather, only “unto the place which the L-RD your G-d shall choose” (12:5). In other words, only HaShem was to be worshipped in the manner prescribed, at a particular location.

The JPSN (1985) version reads, “to establish His name there.” Where in our lives have we established G-d’s name? It is established in synagogues where we daven, through our presence and prayers. Yet, to establish His name in our hearts, our behavior and the world wherein we dwell is paramount. The places where other gods were worshipped were destroyed in Eretz Canaan and later again in Israel after they were frequented again by the Israelites.

Today, many have gathered themselves around secular “gods” to whom much time and effort is devoted. Yet, once a year, we are commanded to set aside our extraneous interests that are of little benefit to the soul, if not contrary to the path intended for us. We are to remember what it was like for ancestors to leave Egypt in haste, as if we were there, fleeing from the idolatry, slavery, and oppression toward a new life in the desert, where the Torah was entrusted to us.

Furthermore, as recounted in parasha Re’eh, we are to eat unleavened bread for seven days, in order to “remember the day of your departure from the land of Egypt as long as we live.” This commandment is given anew to the generation about to enter the Promised Land. Every day we can enter anew by turning our heart toward HaShem and his mitzoth, casting our sins behind us. We are restless, yet, when we permit ourselves to center our lives on what is most important to nourish the soul, we may rest in Him and have true peace.

dvar Korach 5785

G-d requires our cooperation in making the world better; for, He may guide us in the right direction, yet, we must discern and act upon His promptings. Sometimes this may be through intuition, our conscience or awareness of the mitzvot, and how they may apply to the circumstances of our lives. In any case, we must discern between G-d’s will for us according to Torah and hashgacha peratis (divine guidance) versus the unruly emotions and thoughts of our hearts that need to be brought under the reign of shomayim (heaven).

Korach acted upon his own accord, based upon the directive of his own ego. To do so is contrary to G-d. In opposing Moses and Aaron, he was actually going up against HaShem. “Thou and all thy company that are gathered together against the L-RD” (Numbers 16:11). So, there is a right way to follow, under the banner of G-d for the sake of heaven. This was the way of Moses and Aaron, the kohanim and the Levites, whose sanctity was restored in the eyes of the people after the rebellion of Korach and his followers.

If we are to remain in alignment with G-d, then we must put our pride in check. Unlike Korach and his followers, we must not think too much of ourselves, as if we are better than we really are. In doing so, we neglect to see our faults, and, subsequently leave no room for improvement. It is also important to use self-restraint in regard to our aspirations, if they are too much for us.

It is better to remain content with what has been provided for us. “Who is a rich man? He who is content with his lot” (pirkei avos). Korach and his followers descended into the pit. The Talmud records that they did not enter into Olam Haba. If we are content with what we have been provided for in Olam HaZeh, we can look forward to so much more in Olam Haba.

Omer: Day 47 – Humble Mountain

Hod shebbe Malchus: Splendor Within Majesty

Hod, may also be reckoned as “humility.” Humility is a necessary ingredient of character, inasmuch that any attempt to raise oneself above an accurate estimation of one’s own qualities should be placed in check by an honest analysis of oneself. Lowliness of spirit is a deterrent against pride. Moreover, on an interpersonal note, showing deference to others helps to foster a sense of humility.

Ultimate deference should be shown to G-d, through obeisance of His commandments, as well as an acknowledgment of His greater wisdom (Isaiah 55:8-9). The middah (character trait) of hod is also reckoned as “splendor.” This type of splendor is the resultant state of humbling ourselves before G-d. “Before honor goeth humility” (Proverbs 15:33). When we bow to G-d in our heart, He will bestow his shefa (divine flow) upon us.

B’nei Yisrael received the Torah at Sinai. Why was Mt. Sinai chosen from all of the other mountains? Because Sinai was not the highest of mountains; this teaches us the importance of humility. Only when we humble ourselves before G-d in full acknowledgment of our own limitations, may we receive the Torah anew within the quietude of our hearts.

“The reward of humility is fear of the L-RD” (Proverbs 22:4, JPS 1917 Tanach). When we humble ourselves, we can begin to appreciate our relationship to HaShem, acknowledging Him with awe, reverence and respect. His sovereignty over our lives becomes easier to accept, when we recognize that we are limited beings, without all of the answers in life. True majesty is reflected in our selves, and bestowed upon ourselves, only after we humble ourselves before Him.

dvar Shemini 5785

We are to approach G-d with reverence and awe, as well as to seek righteousness in the way we conduct our lives. That our lives should be imbued with holiness is a goal toward which all should aspire. Yet, we are not to raise ourselves above the definition of our calling. While, on the one hand, we speak of going from level to level, this is true and worthy to pursue in regard to our individual derech (path), comprising our journey of the soul, growing ever closer to HaSHem in service to Him. However, not all are called to be rabbis or congregational leaders in some capacity or another. Rather, we remain humbled in the eyes of G-d, when we are content with our positional bearings in a congregation and life at large.

Nadav and Avihu sought more than HaShem had bestowed upon them, in terms of their status and service toward G-d. They sought more than the fair portion that was allotted to them; and, they went beyond the boundary established for them. Was it status that they sought? Or a closer connection to G-d that they thought could be experienced by bringing an offering of their own design? Chazal teaches that they were both inclined toward a greater relationship with G-d than their station permitted, and were impatient with Moses and Aaron, seeking to usurp them, if only for a moment, when they perhaps thought their venture into the sanctuary would have gone unnoticed. Yet, G-d is omniscient, and a discerner of hearts.

The Torah records Moses recalling something that HaShem had told him earlier on, concerning those who are near to Him: “This is that HaShem spoke, saying: Through them that are nigh to Me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified.” The Targum implies that the sanctity of the sanctuary was being protected, against the heedlessness of Nadav and Avihu, for they were not mindful of the true reverence toward G-d that is not a a selfish act, intended to benefit those who serve, rather that G-d is glorified in our service toward Him.

parasha Vayakhel 5785

“Whose heart stirred him…” – Exodus 35:21

The Torah records that those of K’lal Yisrael, the k’hal (congregation) in the desert, whose heart was stirred, brought a material contribution such as gold and jewelry, in order to contribute to the building of the mishkan. Thus, the necessary building material for the mishkan was brought by the Israelites as a freewill offering (35:29).

The phrase, “whose heart stirred him” implies that the person was moved beyond his or her capacity to give, not taking into consideration how much could be given, relative to one’s means. Rather, Ohr HaChayim renders the phrase, נשאו as one who is “carried away” by his heart.

Therefore, according to Ohr HaChayim, there were those who gave in accord with their financial means, and those who gave above and beyond financial considerations. They gave more than a worldly concern for their own livelihood would dictate.

Another way to view this is that rather than limiting the quality of chesed, they gave in abundance. Otherwise, the balance of chesed and gevurah is meant to find the appropriate level of response to any given situation. Sometimes kindness must be limited by discernment; at other times, strictness needs to be alleviated by a measure of kindness. Yet, when we give to a godly cause without consideration of the impact upon us, we excel in our avodah to HaShem.

parasha Behaalotecha 5784

“For I brought thee up out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed thee out of the house of bondage, and I sent before thee Moses, Aaron, and Miriam.” – Micah 6:4, JPS 1917 Tanach

Miriam and Aaron were co-leaders of Israel along with their brother, Moses, as well as prophets in their own right. Yet, they feel diminished by Moshe’s uniqueness, when he separated himself out from family life, in order to be more prepared to receive HaShem’s presence at all times. “And they said: ‘Hath the L-RD indeed spoken only with Moses? hath He not spoken also with us?’ And the L-RD heard it” (Numbers 12:2, JPS).

HaShem responds by rebuking Miriam and Aaron, reminding them that the level of prophecy that Moses received is such that the L-RD speaks with him face to face, and that Moses is the trusted one in all His house. He asks Miriam and Aaron, “Wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against My servant, against Moses?” (Numbers 12:8, JPS).

Then HaShem strikes Miriam with leprosy; although, upon Moshe’s immediate plea to heal her, the L-RD heals her; yet, she is placed in quarantine for seven days. She is treated as a metzorah (similar to a leper), wherein she is removed to the outer limits of the camp. This, like any metzorah who receives the same treatment, will give Miriam time to reflect upon her criticism.

We must do the same, when we are cognizant of offending others. Too often, we speak freely, without thinking of the consequences. Moreover, we disrespect others, when we do not recognize their own integrity and uniqueness. Criticism almost always has a negative impact on the individual who is targeted; except if it is constructive feedback said out of compassion.

An Honest Appraisal

Five Thing Essay: Sluggishness

Somewhere between disinterest and overconcern, lies the peace of mind that comes with resting in the assurance that HaShem is sovereign over the events in the lives of my loved ones, and will bring them to a correct realization of the truth in due time. Yet, what will be my role in their conversion of heart? The question remains elusive. So, I will focus on my own derech.

Remove the orlah (obstacles) between yourself and HaShem. How may this be done in an effective manner? This involves teshuvah (repentance) – a return to G-d; however, it may not be as simple as applying oneself to the observance of the mitzvot within the framework of yiddishkeit. The orlah itself may be preventing this from being brought into actuality. Therefore, it may be necessary to work on oneself, in order to improve upon the detriments of the soul, transforming them into a mindset that is open to “receiving the Torah everyday.”

For myself, this includes dealing with a sluggishness at times, that may have its roots in concerns that negatively impact my emotions. And, so, I understand through my experience, the need to resolve emotional issues, in order to find a place of equanimity, from wherein to approach G-d in prayer, and ultimately rely on Him, despite not being able to rely on others within my familial and social milieu. Only G-d can provide the needs that we seek at the depth of our being.

Then, there is the recurring theme of the “pain of the generations,” as per my awareness of my ancestral past, and the shadows of my lineage. Not even my family is bothered the past. They are too busy living their lives in the present, irrespective of the value of heritage. What a tragic loss.

Within the midst of the chaotic unravelling of my life at times, sometimes, I feel “inflated.” At other times, I feel “deflated.” Perhaps, this is a pattern that needs to be examined further. I am too easily affected by my surroundings, conditions and circumstances. What will prevail upon me one day is gone the next. Perhaps, this is because I am irresolute about my own commitments. So, again and again, I reach out to HaShem to have mercy on me.

Omer: Day 31 Kaleidoscopic Splendor

Tiferes shebbe Hod: Beauty within Splendor

(Otherwise rendered as harmony within humility).

As explained elsewhere, only through bowing down in our hearts to the splendor of the L-RD, may we also acquire splendor, by way of reflecting His Splendor. Therefore, we may find through harmonizing ourselves enough to show deference to G-d, we may bear the light bestowed upon us through our reconciliation with Him.

By way of harmonizing ourselves, I mean to bring the soul into alignment with truth, by sifting through the various inconsistencies in character, called from a psychological perspective, “cognitive dissonance.” Ideally, the result would be like viewing the shapes combined into patterns within the kaleidoscope of our soul.

Imagine all of the variegated shapes being lit up by light in the background; this effect would be akin to G-d’s splendor being reflected by our souls.