personal improvement – Page 4

Day 3 – counting of the omer

Tiferes shebbe Chesed

The nature of tiferes, in terms of its expression as a middah (character trait), can best be designated as “harmony.” Therefore, one question for today could be construed as whether or not one’s acts of loving-kindness are performed in a way that denotes a harmonious balance to all concerned in the endeavor.

Moreover, in our own personality makeup, where is the harmony within that can promote feelings of kindness to others? Sincere kindness flows from a peaceful, harmonious place within ourselves. Are you able to envision your heartfelt acts of kindness bringing harmony to the lives of others? Or do you think of your kindnesses only as a small drop in the bucket?

Consider that the ripple effect of kindness may be greater than you can imagine.

Day 2 – counting of the omer

gevurah shebbe chesed

The middah (character trait) of gevurah may be expressed as a measure of strictness. Therefore, one way of conceiving of gevurah within chesed could have to do with applying a measure of strictness to the quality of kindness. Placing a limit on our kindness, in response to the awareness that not every situation is best suited to respond in kindness involves a dash of wisdom.

Therefore, chesed may require the use of discernment, in order to ascertain how much kindness would be appropriate to the situation. Boundaries are essential to the maintenance of identity. Where do I begin and the other person starts? This question must be regulated in real time by each and every individual. Being kind to others, without standing up for oneself simply amounts to people pleasing, at the expense of oneself.

There must be a healthy balance between chesed and gevurah, and sometimes the strictness of gevurah is necessary to restore a sense of self and integrity.

Being Human is Key

When you begin to associate the identity of another person with his or her politics, then you are viewing them through the lens of identity-politics. Therefore, you have fallen prey to the divisive zeitgeist of our current times. Transcend this limited view by seeing the other as a whole person, not only as someone whose view is such and such.

Whether Republic or Democrat, Woke or Conservative, pro-Israel or pro-Palestinian, we are all human beings, regardless to what degree we have or have not embraced or represented our own humanity as individuals. This does not mean that we will all be able to reconcile our differences; yet, our shared commonalities should not be overlooked. To see the other, first and foremost as a person, rather than a representative of an identity-group is key to better understanding.

Only by fostering an element of respect toward others, even if not reciprocated, can we claim our humanity. The effort starts with those who have a conscious awareness of themselves and others as created in the image of G-d. Step forward and introduce yourself by name, not by the party or political viewpoints that you ascribe toward.

Most importantly, know that you are more than the viewpoints that you uphold. The personal is not the same as the political. In-depth acknowledgment of who you are as an individual human being should be primary within the framework of identity.

The Mindful Moment

What prevents you from experiencing each moment of your life more fully? Consider that every moment has the potential to reveal a rich connection to ourselves, beyond what we perform by default in a rote manner. By rote, I mean any activity performed unthinkingly, on automatic, without giving deliberate attention to that activity. For instance, I noticed that I often rush through a beracha over food, skipping the first part, wherein HaShem is acknowledged, and going right to the individual ending such as borei pri haEtz or borei pri haAdamah. Why? It is because of what I refer to as “background anxiety.” This is the kind of anxiety that remains, for the most part, unnoticed. Otherwise, it is part and parcel of being caught up in the momentum of a hectic pace.

What is necessary, from a psychological standpoint is to shift from the automatic mind to the conscious mind. These two modes of thinking depict the difference between running on automatic, in reaction mode to responding to the moments we encounter in life, without letting our emotions rule. This is important, to have an awareness of what state of mind we are in, and once we become aware of moving unthinkingly through a task or moment in time, to interrupt the reactive brain and shift into a more conscious and mindful state of mind. This can be done as simply as pausing, taking a deep breath, and slowing down, to focus more in the moment.

Mesillas Yesharim (Path of the Just) teaches that awareness is a necessary component of spiritual growth. Everything starts with awareness and conscious choice. We do not want to live mindless lives. Yet, the more aware I become of my ways, the more I realize that I often do not move through life in a deliberate, conscious way. Rather, I speak without thinking, repeat talking points without evaluating them, and react emotionally, without restraint. Changing habitual patterns of behavior is challenging; yet, it is possible, with continual effort. So, stop, pause, and reflect enough to focus on your inner state, while tuning out any distractions. Incorporate this practice into your life for the best results.

Free Will

Freedom and Responsibility:

Mankind was given free will, as denoted by the two inclinations, inferred, according to the sages, by the doubling of the Hebrew letter “yud,” in the word yetzer, when used to describe the creation of man (Genesis 2:7). Notably, the word, yetzer, when used to describe the creation of animals, only uses one “yud,” because animals only have one inclination, i.e., their “instinctual drive.” (Genesis 2:19). Yet, mankind has both a good inclination and an evil inclination.

Additionally, there are consequences for the choices we make in life: “I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live” (Deuteronomy 30:19, JPS). If we follow our good inclination, by focusing on H’Shem, and performing the mitzvot, we will receive blessings in our lives. Conversely, if we permit our evil inclination to get the better of us, the consequences are described as curses.

We need to establish our proper conduct in this world. We are commanded “to love the L-RD thy G-d, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments” (Deuteronomy 30:16, JPS). This includes making rational decisions for ourselves in accordance with G-d’s will. We also need to accept responsibility for the choices we make; if we err, there will be negative consequences.

Doing good starts with awareness of the struggle between the yetzer tov (good inclination) and the yetzer hara (evil inclination). H’Shem encourages to choose the good by way of His promptings. We may do so by attempting to reign over the emotions and desires of our heart, that could otherwise lead us astray. Our rational mind needs to be set above this struggle, in order to make the right decision in any given moment. Sifting through our subjective experience, we need to sort out right from wrong. We need G-d’s directive in order to do so.

Tikkun HaNefesh: Day 3

Ever since the times of Adam, after the expulsion of Adam and Chava (Eve) from the Garden of Eden, there has been an admixture of good and evil in the world. These are not primarily something external, as outside of us, rather, the potential for either, to a lesser or greater degree lies within the soul of every human being. So, to find our way in this world, we need to recognize the difference between the two, searching within ourselves for the taint of the soul that prevents us from drawing closer to G-d.

The Bnei Yissacher explains that the month of Elul is a time of opportunity for teshuvah, a return to G-d that begins with reflection upon the condition of the soul. “His hand is outstretched” (Isaiah 9:11), so that we may return to Him in complete repentance. This requires a sincere confession, and not returning to the same types of sins that may have been plaguing our lives, up until the moment of Divine favor in Elul, when opportunity prevails to change.

I will add that there seem to be general sins, that constitute a way of life that is in discord, so that it is more of an underlying attitude, that may permeate the soul (G-d forbid) and clouds our reasoning. Then, there are specific sins that can be clearly identified: these would include bad habits, and anything we know as wrong, yet do anyway. Yet, we may have to search below the level of our initial awareness to uproot negative thoughts and attitudes. May these become clear through the light that G-d will bestow upon us for the sake of purifying our souls.

These thirty days of Elul are the beginning of a forty-day period of time, when Moshe ascended to Sinai, in order to receive the second set of commandments, after G-d’s granting of His forgiveness to Bnei Yisrael. In our own lives, we need to return again and again to G-d, by way of a more thorough teshuvah each time, so that our endeavor may be sufficient in His eyes.*

parasha Eikev 5783

“Everything is in the hands of G-d, except for the fear of G-d.”

– Berachos 33b

“And now, Israel, what doth the L-RD thy G-d require of thee, but to fear the L-RD thy G-d, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the L-RD thy G-d with all thy heart and with all thy soul; to keep for thy good the commandments of the L-RD, and His statutes, which I command thee this day?” – Deuteronomy 10:12, JPS 1917 Tanach

Yiras H’Shem (fear of G-d) is a major component of one’s relationship to G-d; fear, in the sense of awe, reverence, and respect. The Torah records, “What doth the L-RD thy G-d require of thee, but to fear the L-RD thy G-d?” The quality of yiras H’Shem is what will determine the level of kedushah (holiness) in a person’s life. For our response to constant acknowledgment of G-d, will compel us to watch our own thoughts, speech, and behavior at all times, thereby elevating our level of kedushah.

Our response to H’Shem’s directive, through His commandments, requires giving Him the due respect that He deserves as our King. As a consequence of our reverence towards Him, we bring kedushah (holiness) into our lives through our obedience. We become sanctified through His commandments; every aspect of our lives may become sanctified (made holy). “Happy is everyone that feareth the L-RD, that walketh in His ways” (Psalm 128:1, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Omer Count: Day 27 – Foundational Truths

Yesod shebbe Netzach: Foundation of Victory

How well am I able to maintain an active participation in the foundational truths of my life? Do I only have an intellectual understanding of those truths? Or, am I able to ground those truths within the framework of my everyday life? Moreover, when faced with challenges, within and without, how well will that foundation prove to support the overall structure of my belief and practice?

The stronger my foundation, the greater my ability to endure the storms of life. If my foundation is like a house built upon a rock, then it will be more secure than a foundation built upon sand. A solid foundation is one that will withstand the changing seasons, because the underlying principles are founded upon timeless truths. Yet, a foundation built upon the shifting sands of societal norms will not last. Without a firm foundation we will sink into this quagmire of confusion. Without building blocks that will provide a sure foundation, a structure built upon empty truths, ultimately, will not be established.

The measure of strength of a foundation may very well be its resistance to change; therefore, only time-tested truths will ultimately prevail. The establishment of any foundation that is not in accord with those truths will ultimately fail to provide the shelter that only can only be provided through what is Heaven sent.

Omer: Day 25 – One Life to Live

Netzach shebbe Netzach: Victory within Victory:

(The attribute of netzach may also be rendered as endurance).

The attribute of Netzach carries the weight of eternity on its shoulders, in like manner that Atlas, in the Greek myth, carried the world on his shoulders. In truth, G-d carries both of these burdens for all of mankind.

Yet, we may be made privy to them in a manner that is not burdensome: our place in this world, and our time in eternity is sweetened by the victory of life over death, as mentioned in the Book of Isaiah. “He will swallow up death for ever; and the L-RD G-D will wipe away tears from off all faces” (Isaiah 25:8, JPS 1917 Tanach).

The question is not often asked, what is the ultimate purpose of our lives? Nor, is the answer readily inferred from worldly knowledge; nor, deduced from general knowledge. Yet, G-d has placed eternity in our hearts, so that we might have a glimpse of eternity within us. Therefore, we are able to aspire towards that eternity, having sensed a time and place of continual existence in our heart. Otherwise, what reward will we have at the end of a life well-lived? If we endure the challenges of this life for the sake of monetary gain, pleasure, or posterity, then we are being misled by the false promises of this world.

Consider endurance of each and every day, living our lives for the sake of an eternal reward, knowing that this life is a test. “This world is like a vestibule before the world to come; prepare yourself in the vestibule, that you mayest enter into the banquet hall” (Pirkei Avos 4:21). We are to prepare ourselves, through the refinement of our character, and living a morally upright life, according to G-d’s standard, for the sake of obtaining a good place in Olam Haba (the World to Come). This begins upon our admittance into the coronation banquet of the King, at the beginning of the Messianic Era. For the soul lives on for eternity.

Omer: Day 24 – Balancing Challenges

Tiferes shebbe Netzach: Beauty within Endurance

Tiferes represents the ability to blend or harmonize opposites; thus, the strong-willed efforts to endure challenges in life, may require tenacity; yet, a measure of compassion for ourselves and others also plays a role. Endurance in regard to forbearance of others, is supported by compassion, mercy, and leniency towards others. Also, we would benefit from some show of compassion to ourselves, especially when our best efforts do not immediately amount to success. By acknowledging our mis-tries as stepping-stones, we can learn how to do better next time; this requires a certain amount of self-compassion, lest we judge ourselves too harshly for our failures.

The tenacity to endure the nisyanos (challenges) of our lives, especially when we are running low on reserves, may benefit from acknowledging that we are not superhumans; rather, we are beings built to be dependent on the earth, our fellow human beings, and G-d Himself. When we reach the point of exasperation, when we find ourselves barely able to cope, then we may note a sense of powerlessness. This is exactly when we should turn towards others for help; and, primarily, to accept that the only One who may be able to effect a situation from Above for the good, is the One who created the situation in the first place.

While it is true that we may often create the circumstances for our own negative situations; at times, we may find ourselves being tried by G-d. This was the case for Joseph, who was refined in the fires fire in Egypt, before he ascended to a place of sovereign rule. The trials that he endured shaped his character; so, he proved himself to be capable of being placed in a position of leadership, within the overall framework of G-d’s design. G-d has a divine plan for every individual; when we begin to see the challenges in our lives as tests that will bring us to the next level of spiritual improvement, then we may be in harmony with our circumstances, others, and G-d’s blueprint for our lives.

note: The counting of the Omer serves as a spiritual journey. We are called upon to leave our own personal limitations behind us, as we travel on the path of freedom, away from the influence of negativity in our lives. This is a forty-nine day journey, a self improvement plan, between Passover and Shavuot. Each of the seven weeks corresponds to one of the seven middos (character traits) that we will have the opportunity to improve upon in our lives.

My personal reflections on each day’s combination of middot are not meant to be comprehensive; they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may my insights be characterized as authoritative, because I am a student, not a teacher. I simply hope to inspire others to delve into an exploration of their own personality, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul).