repentance – The Tree of Life

parasha Nasso 5784

“When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to commit a trespass against the L-RD, and that soul be guilty; then they shall confess their sin which they have done.” – Numbers 5:6-7, JPS 1917 Tanach

According to the Talmud (Pesachim 54a), G-d created teshuvah (repentance), before the creation of the world. This teaching connotes the significance of teshuvah for tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul), and tikkun olam (repair of the world). In light of another passage in the Talmud (Megillah 13b), that speaks of the remedy being created before the wound, teshuvah is elevated to a panacea, an all-around cure, capable of transforming lives.

The first person to do teshuvah (repentance), as recorded in the Torah is Yehudah. He publicly acknowledged his transgression, after realizing his guilt. Also, King David, upon hearing a mashal (parable) about a rich man who had many sheep; yet, demanded the one and only sheep of a poor person for dinner, was told by the prophet that he was that man; consequently, he immediately confessed his sin. If only we had the resolve of biblical proportion to act in a decisive way, without hesitance, in recognizing our trespasses against G-d and man.

A sincere confession is necessary to diminish the influence of the yetzer hara (evil inclination), designating past ways of transgression to the past, in order to begin anew (Maimonides). Acknowledging past mistakes, and attitudes, as well as behaviors that are not in accord with a righteous way of living is an act of character, that supplements self-improvement.

“And to him that ordereth his way aright will I show the salvation of G-d” (Psalm 50:23, JPS). When we improve upon our ways, our efforts will elicit a response from Above. For, HaShem gives us the opportunity to do teshuvah, to rectify our ways, so that we may be reconciled to Him.

Pesach Sheini 5784

Pesach Sheini – the Passover of Second Chances

Pesach Sheini, the second Passover, for those who were impure, according to the definition of Torah, or were on a distant journey. Pesach Sheini connotes the idea of second chances. The Israelites who were not able to observe Pesach were given a second chance, one month later, on Nissan 14, in order to do so.

Today, the concept may be applicable to the personal instances of our lives, when we were given a second chance of some nature. Traditionally, matzoh is eaten on Pesach Sheini, although there is no requirement to eat only matzah. Apropos of the theme, let us all consider the second chance to re-evaluate our lives in the face of the challenges ahead.

The redemptive quality of the day may be fostered by praying for our own liberation from any obstacles preventing us from becoming better versions of ourselves. Although, we cannot simply affect an upgrade to a “better version of ourselves,” without harnessing the transformative grace of HaShem. G-d is our Designer, so only in accord with the design of the soul, may we be transformed for the better: this is an inner-change on a spiritual level.

What does this encompass? How can we envision this change? It’s important to acknowledge and work through negative emotions so they don’t linger or affect us negatively. Moreover, because this involves the opportunity for change in the immediate sense, it should be less overwhelming than thinking about changing a negative character trait. It is of benefit to focus on the here and now, by making changes in the moment, beginning with our breath.

In focusing on our breath, and, taking some deep breaths, we can begin to become aware of our feelings. Especially, when we are experiencing negative emotions, we can sort out our feelings, by starting with breath and awareness. The next step is acknowledgment of what we are feeling.

After this acknowledgment, that might include identifying the feeling(s), it is important to accept how we feel, before exploring in depth with ourselves the origin of these feelings. This only requires the attention of our mind in the moment, to notice what thoughts or associations arise from the feelings.

In Judaism, there is a difference between feeling a negative emotion, such as anger, and acting upon it. It is forbidden to act on anger in an inappropriate manner. However, in our day to day lives, we can give pause to the feeling, and prevent ourselves from letting the emotional response cause to say or do something that we would regret.

The essence of a second chance, in a religious sense is teshuvah (repentance). However, this requires more than confession of past sins, shortcomings and failures. It requires a change of heart, wherein we seek to “return to G-d.” Teshuvah is from the shoresh (root word), shuv, meaning “to return.” We do so by avoiding the habitual sins of the past and starting anew.

parasha Terumah 5784

“Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him.” – Exodus 25:2, JPS 1985 Tanach

While H’Shem conversed with Moshe on Mount Sinai, He gave him the instructions for the building of the Mishkan. In order for the Mishkan [portable tabernacle in the desert] to be built, first, a collection was necessary. The collection was a freewill offering of the people for H’Shem, for the sake of building a sanctuary, where H’Shem would dwell. Everyone gave according to what their heart inspired them to give.

The sin of the golden calf preceded the building of the mishkan (tabernacle). The gold used to build the calf, was contributed by the men, who gathered the earrings for the cause of making an idolatrous calf. “Take off the gold rings that are on the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me” (Exodus 32:2, JPS 1985 Tanach).

When Moses returned from on top of Sinai, he shattered the tablets upon discerning the idolatrous revelry focused on the golden calf; thus, in effect, the covenant was symbolically broken upon its intended reception (Jeremiah 31:32). Incidentally, the covenant was not renewed, until Moshe spent another forty days on the mountain; and, brought down the second set of tablets. Yet, first, Moshe pleaded on behalf of B’nei Yisrael for H’Shem to forgive their descent into idolatry. Moreover, it can be understood that even before the actual transgression, the remedy for the sin had already been given to Moshe on the mountain, when he received the instructions regarding all of the details for the building of the Mishkan (Tabernacle).

“The Tabernacle was a form of atonement for the sin of the golden calf” (Or HaChayim, JT Shekalim 1:5, sefaria.org). The collection itself of the materials for the construction of the mishkan served as a form of repentance; inasmuch that the collection was designated as a free will offering; this reflects the nature of teshuvah (repentance).

Holy Ground, Ordinary Lives

The Consequences of Moral Choices

Our choices in life make a difference each and every day. Living on holy ground, recognizing the sacredness of the ordinary; realizing, that in every moment we can choose to side with our values, as informed by our belief, or run counter to our sense of morality. Yet, in making the wrong moral choices for ourselves, scripture shows that we may become distanced from G-d, until we do teshuvah (repentance). G-d encourages us to make the right decisions for ourselves and choose life.

What are your thoughts on the relationship between free will and the consequences for our decisions in life?

Teshuvah Insights

Insights into Teshuvah

“The L-RD thy G-d will turn thy captivity.”

– Deuteronomy 30:3, JPS 1917 Tanach

According to the Talmud, this pasuk (verse) may be read to imply that H’Shem will return with thy captivity, indicating that just as the Shechinah (G-d’s Presence) is in exile with us, so, too, will the Shechinah return with us to the Land of Israel.

On another level, in consideration of the exile of the Shechinah as a result of the sin in our lives, through teshuvah, G-d’s presence will return with us, after being taken captive by the negative forces of the Sitra Achra. When we sin, our own spirit becomes tainted by the sitra Achra; yet, when we do teshuvah (repentance), we are brought out of the mire (Igeret HaTeshuva, end of chapter 6).

G-d’s presence will remain with us, as long as we abide in His commandments. Thus, if we sin, His presence is exiled from our awareness, until through teshuvah, we rectify our transgressions. So, the Shechinah, on the one hand, is exiled with the Jewish people, during galus; on the other hand, there is an exile of the Shechinah from our individual awareness, when we steep ourselves in sinful activity that brings down into the Sitra Achra.

Through teshuvah the Shechinah is returned, both on a corporate level, in regard the nation of Israel in due time, when the Third Temple is built, and on an individual level, whenever we are responsible though our misconduct in exiling a portion of the Shechinah, as is implied, “Your sins have distanced yourselves from Elokim (G-d)” (Isaiah 59:2).

shiur: Shabbat Shuvah 5784

After Adam and Chava ate from the Tree of Knowledge, H’Shem called to Adam, “Where art thou?” (Genesis 3:9, JPS, 1917 Tanach). He responded, “I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid… so I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10, JPS 1917 Tanach). Adam’s shame compelled him to hide himself. Yet, G-d is all-knowing, as well as omnipresent (everywhere present). He surely knew where Adam was. Then, why did he ask, “Where are you?” The answer often given, is that G-d was challenging Adam’s own awareness, in effect, asking, “Where are you” in your relationship with me?

We learn in the Book of Isaiah that sin separates us from G-d (Isaiah 59:2). Adam and Chava (Eve) lost the oneness that they had with H’Shem; as a result of their transgression, they were expelled from Gan Eden, for having partaken from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Up until that point, everything that they experienced in Gan Eden was in one accord with H’Shem, a nondual perspective. Yet, after eating from the tree that was forbidden to eat from, they became aware of good and evil. For this reason, even today, there is not only the external manifestation of good and evil in the world; there is also an admixture of good and bad in everything we do.

Like Adam and Chava, we cannot hide from H’Shem. He knows our thoughts, speech and behavior. Sin separates us from Him; the path to return is through actually admitting our transgressions, unlike the first couple, who circumvented G-d’s questions. At this time of year, during the Ten Days of Awe, and especially on Shabbat Shuvah (the Sabbath of Return), we are all asked, “Where are you?” G-d is prompting us to reveal our sins to Him. Yet, sometimes, our sins may be hidden from ourselves; in this case, we may ask Him to reveal our sins to us. Gemar chatimah tovah – a good final sealing.

Rosh HaShannah 5784

Rosh HaShannah is a time of renewal. Through teshuvah (repentance) we prepare ourselves to face H’Shem: Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King) on the Day of Judgment for the New Year. Through proper reflection, and rooting out our sins well in advance of that day, we hope to begin the new year with the resolve to start anew.

Rosh HaShannah is considered to be a day of judgment for the new year. We would like to be judged favorably, so we make an accounting of the soul (heshbnon hanefesh), in order that our conscience will permit ourselves to stand before the King. According to the Zohar, “’You stand this day all of you before the L-RD your G-d’” (Deuteronomy 30:9) refers to Rosh HaShannah, when we stand before H’Shem in judgment for the New Year.

When we examine our conscience, we may be brought to a place of moral compunction as a result of guilt and remorse. During the Ten Days of Repentance, otherwise known as the Days of Awe, we continue to search our souls for the flaws that need to be brought into the light . During that time, any judgments against us for the year may be diminished through our efforts at “teshuvah (repentance), tefillah (prayer), and tsedokah (charity),” that “avert the severity of the decree,” for the decrees are not sealed until Yom Kippur.

The Pardon

Elul Preparation: Day 27 – The Pardon

In regard to the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, we should keep in mind, that when a sin is committed we may appeal to G-d’s mercy. When we receive G-d’s forgiveness, we are pardoned for our transgression. This is also encapsulated in the thirteen attributes, “forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (Exodus 34:7).

The question may be asked whether or not thorough G-d’s mercy, His forgiveness also includes atonement. The main requirement for atonement is repentance, or in Hebrew, teshuvah, a return to G-d. This is the start of reconciliation between G-d and man.

Yet, this is a two-way interaction, that through G-d’s mercy, we are forgiven. However, teshuvah requires a change of heart, and commitment to not only abstain from sin; rather also, to do good. Therefore, we must compel ourselves to undertake an effort to be proactive in endeavors that will benefit the soul. Several undertakings are recommended:

It is written elsewhere that the study of Torah and acts of loving-kindness (gemilut chasadim) atone for sin (Talmud, tractate Berachos). This may be understood as two ingredients in the overall “recipe” for teshuvah. So, that rather than the effects of sin lingering, or being prone to fall back into sin, these two endeavors should guard us against future sin.

Add to this the recital of the thirteen attributes, in an earnest appeal to H’Shem. In acknowledgment that we cannot stand on our own, we must keep these in mind. When we recite these during the High Holiday services, a sense of humility should be fostered in our hearts as we acknowledge our spiritual weakness, and His merciful response to us.

Days of Favor

motzei Shabbos: Havdallah 2 Elul 5783

These days are days of favor and repentance. During the month of Elul, through the 10th of Tishrei, H’Shem bestows His favor upon us, so that our teshuvah will be heard and answered.

Thus, in acknowledgment that His Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, given to Moshe when He passed before him (Exodus 34:6), are exceptionally available to us, during these days, we may seek teshuvah with a sincere heart, in earnest expectation that we will be forgiven our sins.

Elul Preparation: Day 5

“Then shall the virgin rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old together; for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow.” – Jeremiah 31:13, JPS 1917 Tanach

When the Holy One forgives the sins of Israel, there will be cause to rejoice. The Bnei Yissacher explains that the “young” refers to the baalei teshuvah (penitents) who become like new after a complete teshuvah, returning to G-d in all their ways. The “old” refers to those who were righteous from their early years, and were able to maintain their righteousness with G-d’s grace. Both will be on the same level, so that the penitents will have the same status as those who had always been on the derech (path).

He notes that elsewhere it is mentioned how the righteous will praise their youthful years, in regard having had the opportunity to learn Yiddishkeit from an early age, preventing them from following a wayward path. Conversely, the baalei teshuvah will praise their latter years, because those years compelled then to atone for their youthful waywardness. As mentioned above, “the young and the old together” will rejoice, both those who praise their youth, and those who praise their latter years.

Referring back to the verse mentioned above, I would posit, that “the maiden” can be understood as a reference to K’lal Yisrael. The young and the old, may refer to all balei teshuvah, and those who followed the path of righteousness from the beginning of their years. So, that there is no distinction, between those who returned to G-d in their later years, and those who have always been on the derech. We will rejoice together at the Geulah when all of our sorrow will turn into joy (Psalm 126). Until then, we struggle in Olam HaZeh (This World), guarding ourselves against negative influences, and seeking reconciliation with G-d, especially during Elul.

*based on Bnei Yissacher: Elul 5