Judaism – The Tree of Life

Help for My Loved One:

thechesedfund.com/tzvifievel/family-caregiver-fund

I have been a family caregiver for my mother for over a year now. Currently, I live with her as her caregiver 24/7 at The Club Assisted Living Facility in Boynton Beach, FL. I would like to provide a private aide for my mother, so that she can have some quality care, inasmuch that the facility does not offer care beyond basic tasks. Rather, my mother needs constant attention, that I have been giving without respite. Since I am with my mother throughout the day, and I also spend overnights here seven days a week, hiring a professional aide would also relieve the burden upon me. My mother is wheelchair bound. She has CHF (congestive heart failure), vascular dementia and polyosteoarthritis. My mother fractured her hip in February 2025, wherein she was in Rehab for six months before transitioning to assisted living. Many residents, especially the wheelchair bound have private aides here; my mother deserves the same.

The Values of Jacob

Jacob was a quiet man who lived in tents. Esau was a man of the wilderness; he sought out adventures. Specifically, Jacob is described as an ish tam, a simple, pure or wholesome man. Ish means man, tam is also described as upright. Because he lived in tents, Rashi infers that Jacob was a man with a contemplative nature. Esau was more of an extrovert, focused on worldly gain. Jacob’s character was worthy of qualifying him to be the heir who set the foundation of values for the Jewish people. His focus on uprightness and devotion to G-d set the tone for character and emphasis we should place upon ourselves toward G-d and man.

Although he deceived Esau, to receive the birthright, he was not comfortable about that, and later sought reconciliation. This week’s parasha opens with the potential for a conflict between Esau and Jacob. As background, Jacob had served Laban for twenty years, seven years originally for Rachel, although Laban fooled him into serving for Leah. Then, another seven years for Rachel, his preferred bride. He served and additional six years in order to acquire flocks of his own. He was a hard honest worker, who worked tirelessly for Laban, until he acquired so many flocks that it was time for him to go his own way.

He sends messengers (some say angels) ahead to Esau to let him know of his approach; yet, he receives word that Esau is on his way with 400 men of war. Jacob sends gifts ahead of him to appease Esau for his wrath over having the birthright stolen from him. Eventually, as he approached Esau, he bows down seven times before him, as he continues to walk toward him. Esau runs to him and embraces him. This appeasement of Esau on the part of Jacob serves as a model for the Jewish people in diplomacy.

Additionally, Jacob’s approach exemplifies the power of prayer over the sword, for he prayed to G-d for deliverance from his brother Esau, instead of going straight into battle with him. This should always be the first line of defense for the Jewish people. Also, in our own lives as individuals facing various challenges that constitute our struggles, we should seek assistance from G-d. We need to rely on HaShem to grant us success in all of our endeavors.

parasha Re’eh 5785

“Unto the place which the L-RD your G-d shall choose out of all your tribes to put His name there, even unto His habitation shall ye seek, and thither come.”

– Deuteronomy 12:5, JPS 191 Tanach

The Jewish people are to direct their activities toward the hope and aspiration of fulfilling the essence of the commandments. We learn this from understanding that the Children of Israel were instructed not to worship other gods in places where other nations had done so, nor to worship HaShem in like manner that other gods were worshipped. Rather, only “unto the place which the L-RD your G-d shall choose” (12:5). In other words, only HaShem was to be worshipped in the manner prescribed, at a particular location.

The JPSN (1985) version reads, “to establish His name there.” Where in our lives have we established G-d’s name? It is established in synagogues where we daven, through our presence and prayers. Yet, to establish His name in our hearts, our behavior and the world wherein we dwell is paramount. The places where other gods were worshipped were destroyed in Eretz Canaan and later again in Israel after they were frequented again by the Israelites.

Today, many have gathered themselves around secular “gods” to whom much time and effort is devoted. Yet, once a year, we are commanded to set aside our extraneous interests that are of little benefit to the soul, if not contrary to the path intended for us. We are to remember what it was like for ancestors to leave Egypt in haste, as if we were there, fleeing from the idolatry, slavery, and oppression toward a new life in the desert, where the Torah was entrusted to us.

Furthermore, as recounted in parasha Re’eh, we are to eat unleavened bread for seven days, in order to “remember the day of your departure from the land of Egypt as long as we live.” This commandment is given anew to the generation about to enter the Promised Land. Every day we can enter anew by turning our heart toward HaShem and his mitzoth, casting our sins behind us. We are restless, yet, when we permit ourselves to center our lives on what is most important to nourish the soul, we may rest in Him and have true peace.

dvar Balak 5785

“I see him, but not now; I behold him, but not nigh.”

– Numbers 24:17

The third set of prophecies, given by Balaam, concerns Moshiach. In particular, the prophecy begins with an expectation of Moshiach, “I see him, but not now.” This connotes the understanding that he is expected to come sooner than the appointed time, if the Jewish people hasten his arrival. “I behold him, but not soon.” This denotes his future appearance, in accordance with the appointed time, as per what has been designated by HaShem. This dual-timing is reflected in the pasuk, “At it’s appointed time, I will hasten it” (Isaiah 60:22, Sanhedrin 98). His arrival is hastened if we merit the acceleration of his arrival through our conduct as a people. Otherwise, Moshiach arrives at the appointed time (Or HaChayim on Numbers 24:17).

Balaam’s prophecy continues, “there shall step forth a star out of Jacob.” Moshiach is likened to a shooting store, notably, a comet, because, in the words of Nachmanides, it is written about Moshiach, “behold, there came with the clouds of heaven one like unto a son of man” (Daniel 7:13). “And a scepter shall rise out of Israel…” The scepter is symbolic of a ruler, because Moshiach will rule from Jerusalem over the nations. Even Moab, the domain of Balak will fall under the reign of Moshiach at some point in the future.

This news must have deflated the aspirations of Balak. At the end of their discourse, Balaam returns to his place, and Balak also goes on his way. Apparently there is no change in their disposition toward Israel, and they each seem estranged from the other, Balak being disappointed that Balaam did not curse Israel. Rather Balaam blessed Israel and informed Balak of his kingdom’s ultimate demise.

dvar Korach 5785

G-d requires our cooperation in making the world better; for, He may guide us in the right direction, yet, we must discern and act upon His promptings. Sometimes this may be through intuition, our conscience or awareness of the mitzvot, and how they may apply to the circumstances of our lives. In any case, we must discern between G-d’s will for us according to Torah and hashgacha peratis (divine guidance) versus the unruly emotions and thoughts of our hearts that need to be brought under the reign of shomayim (heaven).

Korach acted upon his own accord, based upon the directive of his own ego. To do so is contrary to G-d. In opposing Moses and Aaron, he was actually going up against HaShem. “Thou and all thy company that are gathered together against the L-RD” (Numbers 16:11). So, there is a right way to follow, under the banner of G-d for the sake of heaven. This was the way of Moses and Aaron, the kohanim and the Levites, whose sanctity was restored in the eyes of the people after the rebellion of Korach and his followers.

If we are to remain in alignment with G-d, then we must put our pride in check. Unlike Korach and his followers, we must not think too much of ourselves, as if we are better than we really are. In doing so, we neglect to see our faults, and, subsequently leave no room for improvement. It is also important to use self-restraint in regard to our aspirations, if they are too much for us.

It is better to remain content with what has been provided for us. “Who is a rich man? He who is content with his lot” (pirkei avos). Korach and his followers descended into the pit. The Talmud records that they did not enter into Olam Haba. If we are content with what we have been provided for in Olam HaZeh, we can look forward to so much more in Olam Haba.

dvar Nasso 5785

All human beings have the capacity to hope. When the B’nei Yisrael were enslaved in Egypt, their hope rested upon the promise of redemption, brought to them by the redeemer who would proclaim that G-d has remembered you, you are not forgotten. Being strangers in a strange land, the first generation of Joseph’s family were aware of the prophetic message to be delivered, and passed that onto successive generations. So, when Moshe arrived, and spoke those words, given to Him by HaShem, he was received by the people in earnest expectation of the redemption.

The culmination of this hope was manifested at Mount Sinai, where the Commandments were given after HaShem appeared to Moshe in the midst of cloud on the mountain. The people heard His voice for at least two of the commandments, and they saw the thunder and lightning. When the Mishkan was completed, HaShem took up residence in the sanctuary, appearing only when communicating to Moshe. And, “he heard the Voice speaking to him” (Numbers 7:89). In like manner that HaShem spoke to Moshe on Mt. Sinai, He spoke to Him in the sanctuary from behind the veil. This parallels the hiddenness of his presence in the clouds, now hidden behind the veil. Moreover, when Aaron went into the Kadosh Kadoshim it was only with incense, so the smoke would hide HaShem’s presence.

It is the same, when we seek to approach HaShem. Inasmuch that we need to search for Him in the darkness of our lives, His presence can be found in the midst of our nisyanos. We may find Him in the quietude of our inner sanctuary, where we may seek solace. Enter within, whether in the silence of the night or early morning hours. Hisbodedut, meditation in the form of speaking to Him with our own words is essential for the soul. In the midst of the darkness there is hope.

Shavuot 5785 Mattan Torah

“And it came to pass on the third day, when it was morning, that there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of a horn exceeding loud; and all the people that were in the camp trembled. ” – Exodus 19:16, JPS 1917 Tanach

At Mount Sinai, the people in the camp trembled at the awesome display of HaShem’s Presence, amidst the thunder and lightning. The people’s sense of yiras HaShem (fear, awe, and reverence towards the L-RD) was elicited by the spectacular display, when the Commandments were given to B’nei Yisrael through Moshe (Moses). This may serve as an example for us, when we gather ourselves together, in order to receive the Torah anew in our lives on the day of Shavuot. The thunder and lightning that humbled the people at Sinai, demonstrates the importance of yiras HSahem for our own lives. “The fear of HaShem is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10).

When we seek to develop awe, reverence, and proper respect towards HaShem, we are planting a foundation within us that will bring wisdom and understanding into our lives (see also Proverbs 9:10). G-d seeks to bring our heart into alignment with His ways, by compelling us to seek teshuvah, that we may start anew. The powerful reminder of thunder is a natural occurrence that should serve as a wake-up call. According to the Talmud, thunder was created for this very purpose (Berachos 59a). “G-d hath so made it, that men should fear before Him” (Ec. 3:14, JPS).

Awe, reverence and respect toward G-d is key. Too often we do not properly demonstrate our respect toward G-d; rather, for example, we act casually toward Him in services by chatting with others, instead of focusing on the words in the prayerbooks. And, in our own lives, the implementation of the commandments is overlooked for following in our own ways, as if we were free and independent, when we are really called to serve G-d and become dependent upon Him. So, let us seek renewal in our lives on this day of the giving of the Torah, honoring HaShem as our sovereign G-d.

dvar Bamidbar 5785

“And the children of Israel shall pitch their tents, every man with his own camp, and every man with his own standard, according to their hosts.” – Numbers 1:52, JPS 1917 Tanach

It is as if encapsulated within the space between the two golden cherubim was the entire Presence of HaShem that appeared on Mount Sinai, now speaking to Moses from within the Mishkan. Although the cloud of glory would be visible over the Mishkan, His full essence was hidden with the Kadosh Kadoshim. This was the central feature of the camp and the life of the Israelites. In parasha Bamidbar, we learn of the formations of the tribes surrounding the mishkan. All was arranged in an orderly fashion, wherein everyone knew their place. In the words of the Steinsaltz edition of the Chumash, “Every member of Israel shall encamp in his designated spot.”

The Levites and the kohanim encamped immediately around the Mishkan. The Levites replaced the firstborn for the rights to perform the offerings in conjunction with the kohanim within the Mishkan courtyard upon the outer mizbeach. The kedushah (holiness) of the firstborn was transferred onto the corresponding number of Levites, except that there were 273 more firstborn than Leviim. In this case, for those individuals, the transfer of kedushah occurred by redemption money – five shekels per individual. This concept is beyond our understanding, unless we consider kedusha as an inherent spiritual quality that passed from the firstborn to the Levites. And the shekels that served as redemptive money acquired the kedusha that was then given to Aaron and his sons. It is like spiritual energy that could not be wasted.

Omer: Day 47 – Humble Mountain

Hod shebbe Malchus: Splendor Within Majesty

Hod, may also be reckoned as “humility.” Humility is a necessary ingredient of character, inasmuch that any attempt to raise oneself above an accurate estimation of one’s own qualities should be placed in check by an honest analysis of oneself. Lowliness of spirit is a deterrent against pride. Moreover, on an interpersonal note, showing deference to others helps to foster a sense of humility.

Ultimate deference should be shown to G-d, through obeisance of His commandments, as well as an acknowledgment of His greater wisdom (Isaiah 55:8-9). The middah (character trait) of hod is also reckoned as “splendor.” This type of splendor is the resultant state of humbling ourselves before G-d. “Before honor goeth humility” (Proverbs 15:33). When we bow to G-d in our heart, He will bestow his shefa (divine flow) upon us.

B’nei Yisrael received the Torah at Sinai. Why was Mt. Sinai chosen from all of the other mountains? Because Sinai was not the highest of mountains; this teaches us the importance of humility. Only when we humble ourselves before G-d in full acknowledgment of our own limitations, may we receive the Torah anew within the quietude of our hearts.

“The reward of humility is fear of the L-RD” (Proverbs 22:4, JPS 1917 Tanach). When we humble ourselves, we can begin to appreciate our relationship to HaShem, acknowledging Him with awe, reverence and respect. His sovereignty over our lives becomes easier to accept, when we recognize that we are limited beings, without all of the answers in life. True majesty is reflected in our selves, and bestowed upon ourselves, only after we humble ourselves before Him.

Fostering Trust in G-d

True trust starts with bitachon, trust in G-d. Yet, there may be many factors, some only relevant to a particular situation that prevent that trust from being fostered. It is an actual gain to overcome anxiety, doubt, and fear by trusting in HaShem. We start bolstering our trust level at the start of every day by reciting the modeh ani.

The very first prayer in the morning is an expression of gratitude for our existence. Despite our circumstances, we thank G-d for being alive. When in doubt about what life has brought our way, we resolve to acknowledge Him as our benefactor. He is sovereign over our lives; and, all circumstances are meant to be for the good.

The lonely burden of a caregiver is upon me, and it has been over eight months since I made a commitment to this role. This morning, I woke up on the recliner in the hospital room, where my mother is staying. I woke up fearful, because of the circumstances, surrounding my mother’s discharge. Instead of letting that fear take hold of me, I realized that this was a trust issue; so, I turned to HaShem.

In reading the words in Shaar Bitachon, I began to be comforted, as my trust in HaShem was restored. I became very aware of bitachon as an existential need, to live a life, wherein every challenging circumstance, I can place my trust in G-d that things will turn out alright.

Perhaps, 100% trust in G-d is nearly impossible to obtain; however, for myself, I think the particular situation needs to be considered in light of the teachings in regard to bitachon. Like any relationship, trust takes time; and, so, in like manner, the same is true with a relationship with G-d.

In returning to the assisted living center in time to recite Friday evening Kiddush, I realize that this is a blessing of abundance: good food in the dining room included in our rent for both my mother and myself. It is a blessing that I acknowledge, an objective good, regardless of the level of appreciation that my mother has. Compared to hospital food it is a banquet.

G-d provides; although, sometimes we live below the standard of our own expectations. Even this is for the good, inasmuch that we can learn to be content with what we have, in acknowledgment that HaShem knows what is best for us.

As for my mother, she is often disconsolate, because of the many unfortunate circumstances that have fallen upon her. And, as it is for most family caregivers, tasked with the charge of their “loved ones,” HaShem only knows what we endure. Yet, even this, for myself, I trust must somehow be for the good.