Tag: kindness

His Faithfulness

parashas Ki Tisa 5782

“And the L-RD passed by before him, and proclaimed: ‘The L-RD, the L-RD G-d, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in kindness and truth: keeping mercy unto the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” – Exodus 34:6-7

H’Shem acknowledges the fallen human condition of mankind; therefore, He is merciful to potential sinners, even knowing that they will, indeed, sin. This act of compassion towards those who are bound to sin, denotes the mercy associated with His name. For how can frail man be treated with ill intentions by the One Who is “merciful and gracious, long-suffering and abundant in kindness and truth” (Exodus 34:6)?

Rather, let this serve as a model for us human beings, within the framework of our relationships to each other; for, we may learn to be tolerant of others, who we might otherwise despise, if we took the stance of a haughty attitude towards them. Moreover, we do not know whether or not someone will engage in unlawful (sinful) behavior; therefore, we should not judge anyone who might seem inclined towards a less than godly life.

There is hope for all, including ourselves when we fall. For H’Shem is also “forgiver of iniquity, transgression, and sin” (34:7). This is our reassurance, that when we are unfaithful to the stipulations of the Sinai covenant, H’Shem is still faithful to us. Like unto His forgiveness of B’nei Yisrael, regarding the golden calf debacle, in response to the compassion that Moses elicited from Him through his prayer on behalf of the people; this is also a model for us, to seek H’Shem’s forgiveness, when we fall prey to temptation. “Pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for Thine inheritance” (Exodus 34:9, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Mishnah Insights: Berachos 3

Mishnah Berachos 3:2

“After they buried the deceased and returned, if they have sufficient time to begin to recite Shema and conclude before they arrive at the row, formed by those who attended the burial, through which the bereaved family will pass in order to receive consolation, they should begin [even if they will only have an opportunity to recite the first verse (Deuteronomy 6:4)].” – sefaria.org

From this we learn in the commentary, that the main part of the Shema prayer is the first verse; and, that this verse is minimally permissible to recite by a comforter, between the time after the deceased is buried, until reaching the line, where one would line up to approach and comfort the mourners, by offering one’s condolences. Seemingly so, the only motivating factor, according to halacha, to say the Shema at this time if necessary, would be if one was not able to do so that morning prior to the funeral. Incidentally, the Shema is a comforting prayer, in and of itself, and, if said, quietly to oneself, can offer divine consolation, regardless of who may take the opportunity to recite the prayer. Yet, it is forbidden to say the Shema while walking; so, this more or less throws a monkeywrench, figuratively speaking, of course, into the entire discussion.

Perforce, to say that these and similar guidelines within perek (chapter) 3:2, have to do with being exempt from performing a mitzvah, while engaged at the time with the performance of another mitzvah; for example, consoling a mourner. That so much consideration is given, in regard to the exact details of the situation, compels me to have more respect and appreciation of such a mitzvah. The gravity of the situation at a funeral, would certainly elicit proper respect towards the mourner and the mitzvah of consolation itself; yet, knowing that consoling a mourner takes precedence over the most important prayer in Judaism, demonstrates the kindness and compassion that we are to show to mourners. Also, this priority demonstrates as well, the kavanah (proper focus and intention) necessary to offer a meaningful consolation, without the distraction of having another mitzvah preoccupying one’s thoughts.

As an afterthought, I would add that Jewish mysticism teaches that every person has a divine spark within their soul, that originates with G-d. By treating others with respect, we are also honoring others as being created in G-d’s image. Therefore, I would imagine that G-d would not feel the least bit slighted in any way, if we set aside the obligation to say the Shema, for the sake of consoling a mourner.

Mishnah Berachos 3:3 has to do with more general exemptions and obligations, in regard to the following: tefillin (phylacteries), Shemonah Esrei, mezuzah, and Birchas HaMazon (Grace after Meals). Amongst the discussion on mezuzot is a commentary that obligates a father to make sure that a mezuzah is placed upon the doorpost of a child that lives alone. This is emotionally moving to me; and, I imagine the father himself placing the mezuzah on the doorpost of his child’s place of residence. For myself, this speaks of the continuity of values and traditions, within the framework of Judaism.

Omer Count: Day 6 – Foundation of Love

April 3, 2021

Day 6 Yesod shebbe Chesed (Foundation within Love)

The foundation of love rests upon our ability to bond to others. Therefore, the strength of our love towards others is empowered by how we bond. Conversely, it could be said that the intensity of our love is strengthened by our bonds to others. An everflowing pattern develops, akin, by way of analogy, to the way water circulates on the earth.


“All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again” (Ecclesiastes 1:7). Moreover, when water evaporates, the droplets ascend to rakia (sky), from where they are condensed within rainclouds; then, the water droplets fall back to the earth in a continous cycle. I hope that this analogy may benefit your understanding of my reflections on hod shebbe chesed.

[These are my personal reflections on the implications of today’s combination of middot (character traits). These reflections are not meant to be comprehensive, inasmuch that they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may these ideas be characterized as authoritative, because I profess to being a student, not a teacher. I hope to inspire others to delve into an exploration of their personality, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul)].

Omer Count: Day 2 – the Boundary of Kindness

17 Nissan 5781

March 30, 2021

gevurah within chesed

What follows consists of my personal reflections on the implications of today’s combination of middot (character traits). These reflections are not meant to be comprehensive, inasmuch that they are not based upon any one particular system. Nor, may these ideas be characterized as authoritative, because I profess to being a student, not a teacher. I hope to inspire others to delve into an exploration of their personality, for the sake of tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul).

The middah (character trait) of gevurah may be expressed as a measure of strictness. Therefore, one way of conceiving of gevurah within chesed could have to do with applying a measure of strictness to the quality of kindness. Placing a limit on our kindness, in response to the awareness that not every situation is best suited to respond in kindness involves a dash of wisdom. Therefore, chesed may require the use of discernment, in order to ascertain how much kindness would best benefit the recipient. Too much kindness might appear as ingratiating. Elsewise, being overly kind in order to please others could result in our resentment, when we give in to others demands. Placing a boundaried response on others requests, gives us a sense of acting from our center being, keeping our needs in mind, without overextending ourselves.

Consider how G-d’s chesed, His sense of kindness may be purposely limited at times for a specific reason, actually for the sake of the recipient. He is known to test the faith of those who have a certain level of trust in Him, by delaying a response to one’s tefillah (prayer) requests. This would be enacted on His part to test the strength of our faith. Also, He may not respond in the manner that one expects, because the specific request if answered in the way that the prayer was framed, would not best benefit that individual. In like manner, we should also be cautious, and excercise discernment in regard to how we respond to others who may seek our time, attention, or help.

Additionally, it might seem counterintuitive at the time; yet, a withholding attitude may be required at times, for the sake of another person’s personal growth. Refraining from helping someone too much may serve to encourage that person to do more for him or herself. So, often there needs to be a balance between chesed and gevurah in our responses to others; so, that the demands of the situation may be met in the most beneficial way to all concerned. An extreme version of applying a strong measure of gevurah to chesed would be the case in certain rare circumstances, to apply the notion of “tough love.” In this case, an act perceived as severe by the intended recipient might actually be more of an expression of sincere love, than giving in to another person, thereby enabling the other to perpetuate an undesirable behavior.

Utlimately, finding the right balance in any situation is not easy. Often our response depends upon our own personality; for example, whether or not we are a chesed person, naturally demonstrating loving-kindness or whether we are more of a gevurah person, who is inclined to be more reserved and circumspect in responding to others. This example may best serve as a segue towards tikkun hanefesh (rectification of the soul), the precise purpose of the forty-nine day spiritual journey. To take an honest look at ourselves includes evaluating our character. If we withold kindness from others when we should be kind, this may denote an imbalance in the personality. Conversely, if we routinely find that being too nice to others has negative consequences for ourselves, then there may also be an imbalance of these qualities in our personality.

The task at hand is to reflect upon ourselves, in a manner that will bring the greatest level of shalom (peace) to our souls, as well as the lives of others on this journey. Moreover, in like manner that the Children of Israel had the opportunity to prepare themselves along the way to Sinai for receiving the Torah, so may we refine ourselves for the sake of our relationship to G-d. The first five commandments have to do with our connection to G-d, while the second set of five commandments are in regard to our relationship with others. Both are necessary on the journey of life; so, to shape our personalities in accordance with G-d’s will has the potential to bring the greatest overall benefit to our self and others.