Tag: mussar

day 6 – counting of the omer

Day 6 – yesod (foundation) shebbe chesed (love) – the nature of giving

The foundation of love rests upon our ability to give to others. The quality of our love towards others is empowered by how we give. The reciprocity of love is strengthened by the give and take in a relationship. An ever-flowing pattern develops, akin, by way of analogy, to the way water circulates on the earth.

“All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again” (Ecclesiastes 1:7). When water evaporates, the droplets ascend to rakia (sky), from where they are condensed within rainclouds; then, the water droplets fall back to the earth in a continuous cycle. This natural exchange is symbolic of the reciprocity of an ideal relationship.

A healthy relationship requires both individuals to have a reciprocal attitude of giving.

Habitual Patterns, Eternal endeavors

Moving Past the Comfort Zone, One Step at a Time

The one who makes the extra effort to improve himself, by going beyond his or her established norm is doing well. In order to break a habit or move past one’s “comfort zone,” that first step is required. For example, in regard to breaking a habit, in the moment, one must change his mind, about continuing with whatever his compulsory drive is about to compel him to do.

In the case of moving out of one’s comfort zone, it is important to go the extra mile. So, to move forward, instead of settling for less than one’s potential is admirable. This effort is necessary, in order to serve God, according to our derech (path), for, we should not remain complacent (Likutei Amarim, end of chapter 15).

Taking that extra step towards freedom from the clutches of a negative habit, or compelling oneself to do even better in regard to a positive routine is what will bring us closer to the ideal person that we envision for ourselves.

In order to change the trajectory of a negative inclination, that if followed, would have only kept us in negativity, one must believe it is possible to succeed. Spiritual growth is not any different, theoretically, than efforts at discipline in regard to an exercise routine for the body. One more push up, every once in a while or an extra sit-up or two, proves to ourself that we have the potential to do more, if we set our minds to it.

This can also be understood in the realm of character development. For example, we may contribute to the benefit and welfare of others in some particular manner, such as giving a quarter to the nice lady on the corner, everyday, as we walk to the coffeeshop; yet, what about, stopping and saying “hi,” or simply, “G-d bless you.” These little extras add to the mitzvah. This same understanding of increasing the quality of good deed can be applied to other mitzvoth as well.

I am not talking about pushing oneself, as if one is not doing enough already; rather, to grow in a steady manner, as we see feasible for ourselves, and are inspired to do so. It is not necessarily about reaching the next level or rung on the ladder; rather, about meeting the moment with the effort that will prove our ability to pass a test with flying colors, like a ship returning from the battle.

Our battle is between our lesser inclination to remain static, and our higher inclination to improve ourselves, one embellishment at a time, beautifying the mitzvoth (good deeds) of our lives. For myself , I am learning how to focus more on the present moment rather than the incessant struggle to achieve for myself greater and greater spiritual status in my own eyes. So, it appears to be more about the journey, than the destination. These efforts will be granted a reward both in this life and Olam Haba (the World-to-Come).

After the Festival

Rosh Hashanah shiur – Sanctification

“And now, Israel, what doth the L-RD thy G-d require of thee, but to fear the L-RD thy G-d, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the L-RD thy G-d with all thy hear and with all thy soul; to keep for thy good the commandments of the L-RD, and His statutes, which I command thee this day?” –  Deuteronomy 10:12-13, JPS 1917 Tanach

If we make an effort to sanctify ourselves from Below (Earth), according to our own efforts, H’Shem will sanctify us from Above (Heaven). Moreover, this also translates into our overall efforts in Olam Hazeh (This World), that will be rewarded in Olam Haba (The World-to-Come). This would include the sanctification of speech.

For myself, the nature, timing, and quality of my words need much refining. As much as I may think that I’m cautious about my speech, as a boundaried individual, I also am able to see where I fall short of appropriate speech. Namely, the many different kinds of lashon hara are a reminder to me, that I need to make an effort to improve in this department. Which serves as a segue to another important point.

Rosh HaShanah should ideally be a serious day of focus on one’s thought, speech, and action, while remaining free from chatter, and idle words, in order to have one’s thoughts absorbed with the meaning of the holiday. However, this task becomes even more challenging at seudah (lunch) after the morning service. I found myself reverting back to the same types of inappropriate speech I have been trying to root out.

Isn’t this the nature of festivities, when there is wine and good food? Yet, regardless, I am still responsible for my own speech and behavior. The only positive result of my realizing that I spoke lashon hara twice during seudah, is that my faults compelled me to begin reading the sefer of Chofetz Chaim on Lashon Hara. And, lo and behold, the book is arranged to study these laws, beginning on Tishrei 1.

So, here I am. Hineni. Like all of us, I am given another chance to improve. May this only be the beginning of renewal for all of K’lal Yisrael. For the sake of our own benefit (Deuteronomy 10:13), may we endeavor to keep on track by following the commandments, especially those wherein we need to improve.

Gemar chatimah tovah – a good final sealing.

Reparations of the Mind

“And it shall be righteousness unto us, if we observe to do all this commandment before the L-RD our G-d, as He hath commanded us.’” – Deuteronomy 6:29, JPS 1917 Tanach

“Your yes should be just, and your no should be just.” – Bava Metzia 49a

During the month of Elul, we should focus on preparing the heart for teshuvah. The Hebrew word, teshuvah connotes the understanding of returning to G-d, inasmuch that through a careful consideration of our ways, we should begin to make amends, for the sake of repairing the soul. As is written in the Talmud, “one should not say one matter with his mouth, and think one matter with his heart” (Bava Metzia 49a, sefaria.org). Moreover, we should not think that we are one way, namely a mensch (good person), when our speech and behavior do not represent the ideal self we would like to be.

In the Bnei Yissacher, a Chassidic text corresponding to the months of the year, the author notes, for the beginning of the month of Elul, that the Torah itself alludes to this month as a favorable time for teshuvah (repentance). He emphasizes, the importance of speaking with “a measure of righteousness,” so that speech is in accord with the truth. If we think one thing, yet say another, then we are being dishonest. Rather, we should make an effort to examine ourselves, in order to stand in our own integrity at all times.

This is not an easy task to adhere to, typically when around others, when we may be naturally inclined as human beings are, to reflect the thinking of others, rather than to assert our own convictions. Especially, in these times of social and moral confusion, standing in our integrity with an honesty of heart, and truthfulness of spirit is key.

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The Full Blessing

“Sur meira, v’asei tov.” (Avoid evil, do good).  – Psalm 34:15

Especially when we consider our mitzvoth, avodah, and Yiddishkeit, that may all be flourishing, we can easily overlook areas of our lives, where we fall short of the standard, prescribed for the pious. That is to say, that every area of our life should represent our values. Inasmuch that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were blessed “in everything, through everything, and with everything,” this implies according to the Talmud that in this life they had already received a taste of Olam Haba (the-World-to-Come; Bavra Batra 16b-17a). Thus, they were blessed with heavenly as well as earthly blessings; perhaps, their blessings rested upon their character, inasmuch that the Talmud also asserts that the yetzer hara (evil inclination held no sway over them (ibid.). If so, then all areas of their lives may have been blessed because there was no corruption to be found lurking about in the corners of their personal lives.

Yet, we are not on the level of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in terms of our challenges in the face of adversity from the yetzer hara (evil inclination). Thus, the TANYA recommends that we need to “turn away from evil” in all areas of our lives, in order to receive the full blessings due to our positive endeavors. In other words, we have the opportunity to bring more blessings into our lives, beyond those we receive from “doing good,” if we sweep out the dust, so to speak, from the places in our lives that need improvement, the faults, and minor sins that have been neglected. These are the aveiros  that most people trample upon, figuratively speaking, because they seem trivial in their eyes. If we search our hearts, we may find that we are also guilty of “trampling upon” these sins. Therefore, let us search our minds and heart, and root out the behaviors that prevent us from receiving the full blessings H’Shem would like to grant to us.

note: based on Likutei Amarim, middle of chapter 30