prayer – The Tree of Life

dvar Nasso 5785

All human beings have the capacity to hope. When the B’nei Yisrael were enslaved in Egypt, their hope rested upon the promise of redemption, brought to them by the redeemer who would proclaim that G-d has remembered you, you are not forgotten. Being strangers in a strange land, the first generation of Joseph’s family were aware of the prophetic message to be delivered, and passed that onto successive generations. So, when Moshe arrived, and spoke those words, given to Him by HaShem, he was received by the people in earnest expectation of the redemption.

The culmination of this hope was manifested at Mount Sinai, where the Commandments were given after HaShem appeared to Moshe in the midst of cloud on the mountain. The people heard His voice for at least two of the commandments, and they saw the thunder and lightning. When the Mishkan was completed, HaShem took up residence in the sanctuary, appearing only when communicating to Moshe. And, “he heard the Voice speaking to him” (Numbers 7:89). In like manner that HaShem spoke to Moshe on Mt. Sinai, He spoke to Him in the sanctuary from behind the veil. This parallels the hiddenness of his presence in the clouds, now hidden behind the veil. Moreover, when Aaron went into the Kadosh Kadoshim it was only with incense, so the smoke would hide HaShem’s presence.

It is the same, when we seek to approach HaShem. Inasmuch that we need to search for Him in the darkness of our lives, His presence can be found in the midst of our nisyanos. We may find Him in the quietude of our inner sanctuary, where we may seek solace. Enter within, whether in the silence of the night or early morning hours. Hisbodedut, meditation in the form of speaking to Him with our own words is essential for the soul. In the midst of the darkness there is hope.

Fostering Trust in G-d

True trust starts with bitachon, trust in G-d. Yet, there may be many factors, some only relevant to a particular situation that prevent that trust from being fostered. It is an actual gain to overcome anxiety, doubt, and fear by trusting in HaShem. We start bolstering our trust level at the start of every day by reciting the modeh ani.

The very first prayer in the morning is an expression of gratitude for our existence. Despite our circumstances, we thank G-d for being alive. When in doubt about what life has brought our way, we resolve to acknowledge Him as our benefactor. He is sovereign over our lives; and, all circumstances are meant to be for the good.

The lonely burden of a caregiver is upon me, and it has been over eight months since I made a commitment to this role. This morning, I woke up on the recliner in the hospital room, where my mother is staying. I woke up fearful, because of the circumstances, surrounding my mother’s discharge. Instead of letting that fear take hold of me, I realized that this was a trust issue; so, I turned to HaShem.

In reading the words in Shaar Bitachon, I began to be comforted, as my trust in HaShem was restored. I became very aware of bitachon as an existential need, to live a life, wherein every challenging circumstance, I can place my trust in G-d that things will turn out alright.

Perhaps, 100% trust in G-d is nearly impossible to obtain; however, for myself, I think the particular situation needs to be considered in light of the teachings in regard to bitachon. Like any relationship, trust takes time; and, so, in like manner, the same is true with a relationship with G-d.

In returning to the assisted living center in time to recite Friday evening Kiddush, I realize that this is a blessing of abundance: good food in the dining room included in our rent for both my mother and myself. It is a blessing that I acknowledge, an objective good, regardless of the level of appreciation that my mother has. Compared to hospital food it is a banquet.

G-d provides; although, sometimes we live below the standard of our own expectations. Even this is for the good, inasmuch that we can learn to be content with what we have, in acknowledgment that HaShem knows what is best for us.

As for my mother, she is often disconsolate, because of the many unfortunate circumstances that have fallen upon her. And, as it is for most family caregivers, tasked with the charge of their “loved ones,” HaShem only knows what we endure. Yet, even this, for myself, I trust must somehow be for the good.

As the World Spins

Isn’t most of the world blinded by the entertainment, that desenistizes us to violence, and makes us think that all the world really is a stage, as if Shakesperean actors are performing for us on television in the movie theatres, and even in real life, which is actually more fascinating than the illusions on the screen, if we venture to learn about what is really happening in the world.

Does art imitate life or life imitate art? Two sides of the same coin. However, the more that I follow the details news and developments each and everyday for the past several weeks, I get the viscereal sense that this is a real life drama, building up in the Middle East.

If we shut out the news by tuning out, turning off the television and shutting down our computers, and electronic devices it is still happening. And America is not immune, nor a place of refuge from the realities of the Acharit HaYamim (the End of Days) that have been transpiring on earth, especially with the onset of the Covid Plague.

Perhaps, the revolution will not be televised; and, even moreso, we are already within the midst of it. Woke ideology permeates almost every facet of society, and those who endeavor to uphold the truth in their lives need courage to stand strong against the tides of change. “And every eye will see G-d’s return to Zion.”

Orientation Toward Mercy

“As for me, in the abundance of Thy lovingkindness will I come into Thy house; I will bow down toward Thy holy temple in the fear of Thee.” – Psalm 5:8, JPS 1917 Tanach

The reality is that when we face East to recite our prayers (outside of Israel), we do so in regard to directing our thoughts, heart, and focus toward the location of the Beis HaMikdash. This seems especially prescient to me, after Tisha b’Av, when the intent of that day is to dwell upon and reflect the loss of the Temple, and the on the otherside of the coin, acknowledge the rebuilding of the Third Temple. May we all merit to see that day.

Until we arrive at that day, where we are not only praying toward, rather, also, praying at the Holy Temple, we are called upon to pray in small sanctuaries (Ezekiel 11:16). Our prayer should be like entering into an inner sanctuary of solitude as well, finding refuge and solace.

Yet, upon leaving the physical space of worship, and stepping out of sacred time spent in communion with HaShem, we need to carry over those positive feelings into our lives. We each have certain areas of our lives that need improvement. This may include relationships with others. As such I offer these prayers, based upon the first few morning prayers in the siddur:

Ribono shel olam, may Your mercy overwhelm your attributes. And, may our limited capacity to show mercy toward others, also influence our middos. Specifically, may our mercy diminish our anger and frustration toward others. Amein.

In like manner that we request G-d to deal with us according to his attributes of kindness of mercy, we should be be compelled to show kindness, and have mercy toward others; so, that our negative emotions be overruled, diminished, and vanquished for the sake of the good, and peaceful relations with others, especially family, friends, and acquaintances.

Spiritual Sustenance

Five Thing Essay: Spiritual Sustenance

Every moment of this life is precious and holds great potential. We should value our time, and not carelessly squander our time on meaningless distractions from our goals in life. Rather an emphasis on spiritual development should guide our lives. Yet, for the mind to do so, calmness needs to prevail over our busy lives, hectic schedules, and general concerns.

Reflection on spiritual things may be fostered in us, through music that uplifts the soul. Moreover, this can enhance hisbodedus (meditative prayer), wherein we speak to G-d with words that may arise from within us. Prayer from the heart is one way of reaching out to G-d from the depths of the soul.

In our lives, the more we focus on G-d, the less anxiety we will have about our worldly concerns. Moreover, our growing concerns about the future, as well as the current state of affairs on earth, may weigh us down, if we do not bring a proper perspective into alignment with our thinking.

G-d has decreed that the world will not be completely destroyed, like at the time of the Mabul (Great Flood). Rather, we should look forward to the messianic era, when Torah will flourish upon the earth, amongst all peoples. And, “the word of the L-RD shall go out from Zion.”

Perhaps, this is one of the prime differences between the expectations of the Jewish people, and the incessant drive of radical Islam to impose Shariah law upon the world. We are waiting for Moshiach, in hopes of bringing peace to the world. No one is forced to accept the G-d of Israel, Who is a G-d of Mercy as well as Justice. So, let us not misuse our time until that day, when Moshiach will reign from Jerusalem; instead, let us focus on the cry, “Ad mosai” (how long will we wait)? And, prepare ourselves for that day, in great expectation.

Pray for the Captives

Thus saith the L-RD: even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered; and I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.”

– Isaiah 9:25, JPS 1917 Tanach

An Undeserved Favor

weekly Torah reading: parasha Va’etchanan 5783

“And I besought [implored] H’Shem at that time, saying: ‘O L-rd G-D, thou hast begun to show Thy servant Thy greatness, and Thy strong hand; for what god is there in heaven or on earth, that can do according to Thy works, and according to Thy mighty acts? Let me go over, I pray Thee, and see the good land that is beyond the Jordan, that goodly hill-country, and Lebanon.'”

– Deuteronomy 3:23, JPS 1917 Tanach

Moshe was considered the humblest man alive; yet, he spoke in anger, and transgressed at the waters of Meribah when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it as H’Shem had commanded; therefore, he was not permitted to enter Canaan. Moshe pleads for H’Shem’s mercy in an attempt to ask Him to annul His decree that he would not enter the Promised Land. However, he is only permitted to view the Promised Land from the top of a mountain (see Deuteronomy 3:26). According to Rashi, even though Moshe was denied entrance into Eretz Yisrael, he was received into Olam Haba .

Vaeschanan – I implored. Rashi further comments that the verb chanan, signifies a gift given out of kindness or grace. “Although the righteous might make a claim to reward depend upon their good deeds, yet they solicit from the Omnipresent only an ex gratia gift” – a gift given out of kindness, not dependent upon merit (Rashi on Deuteronomy 3:23, sefaria.org). In looking at ourselves, we should acknowledge our lowliness, and our own need to seek G-d’s mercy. If we were to consider all of the ways that we offend H’Shem, how can we even stand before Him?

“Not in the merit of our righteousness do we cast our supplications before you, but in the merit of Your mercy.” – from the morning prayers

Gotta Be Me

“Judaism is a gift of G-d. It is not something that we inaugurate, not our attainment, but our inheritance, the accumulated experience of ages. It is to be acquired, not produced.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel, Moral Grandeur & Spiritual Audacity

On my own personal spiritual journey, it was as if G-d was calling me, drawing me closer to Him. The ideal understanding that reached my heart was from my own learning and personal endeavor to comprehend the faith of my heritage, by seeking G-d in a manner that appealed to my Jewish sensibilities.

I began my journey as a ba’al teshuvah, as an individual quest. Today, it continues to be an individual plight, despite my connection to community; in fact, I have never actually felt the need to be dependent upon community. While it is true that community is meant to enhance one’s personal devotion to G-d, there is a dynamic continuum between self and community, wherein friction sometimes results.

Yet, on certain occasions, community has the potential to enhance one’s experience beyond expectation, despite any differences. Case in point, this past Shabbos I remained at shul all day until after havdallah. Three hours of conversation with some friends followed an early minchah. After they left, I had a late seudah shlishi (third meal) in solitude in the social hall. This was truly enriching to me, like a blessing from Above. Half a dozen of us gathered for a quiet maariv, where I was able to daven with kavanah at my own pace – another blessing.

Then, followed havdallah with the same people who davened maariv. As soon as we finished, some chasidim showed up and conducted another havdallah. They sang my favorite tune; so, I joined in for a second havdallah. I believe that H’Shem has shown me, that despite my recent concerns, and existential religious crisis, the spiritual journey, like life, is often bittersweet. I am fortunate to have been able to transcend the bitterness, if only for that one Shabbos.

motzei Shabbos: Vayikra 5783

Korban – To Draw Close

“When any of you presents an offering…”

– Leviticus 1:2, NJPS

“As an olah is an offering that “rises” towards G’d in its entirety, since the whole of the animal is being offered on the altar, so is prayer an offering of the heart which rises toward Heaven in its entirety.” – Akeidas Yitzchak on Leviticus 1:2

The Hebrew word for offering is korban. The shoresh (root word) of korban is KRV, meaning “to draw near.” Therefore, the act of bringing an offering has the connotation of drawing near to H’Shem. According to Akeidas Yitzchak, the olah offering, in particular, represents prayer from the heart, because the olah completely ascends to H’Shem. Therefore, in like manner that the entire animal brought as an olah offering is consumed on the mizbeach (altar), so too, it can be said, that our prayers of the heart ascend entirely to G-d.

Interestingly enough, the name associated with the korbanot is YHVH, the name that denotes H’Shem’s Attribute of Mercy. Since the korban is not associated with the name, Elokim that represents the Attribute of Justice, the implication is that an offering permits us to draw near to H’Shem, because of His mercy towards us. Although the world was first created with the Attribute of Justice, denoted by the name Elokim (the name of G-d that first appears in the Creation narrative), later, the name YHVH appears, because the world could not survive without Mercy (see Rashi, Genesis 1:1). H’Shem’s Attribute of mercy makes an allowance for reconciliation through atonement, by way of a korban.

Today, even without the Beis HaMikdash where offerings were brought to H’Shem, we may still rely on H’Shem’s mercy. We may even bring our own offerings to Him, in a sense, by committing to the performance of good deeds, and doing tikkun hanefesh (the rectification of the soul). By devoting ourselves to H’Shem, we, ourselves, in certain sense may become an offering. So, in consideration of making ourselves an offering, may our prayers arise like sweet-smelling incense, and find favor with H’Shem.

Rosh Chodesh Adar 5783

Rosh Chodesh Adar 5783: 30 Shevat – 1 Adar

Reflection on the new month: Rosh Chodesh Adar 5783

This Adar will bring the globe, including, Jewish communities around the world full circle, three times over; inasmuch, that it will have been about three years since the proliferation of the coronavirus. May H’Shem have mercy on us; may He bless our lives, family, friends, and communities. May He preserve us during the days that will follow.

For the pandemic, nor the ramifications manifest in technological innovations, as well as geopolitical concerns are still in motion. How will we respond to the inherent issues that will accompany vaccine passports, Digital I.D., and eventually a social credit scoring system for individuals, as well as businesses, corporations and universities. (ESG is already in place for these latter institutions).

For myself, I have found much opportunity for reflection, writing, and kavanah (intention) throughout these past three years. I would also recomend to others, to occupy oneself with heshbon hanefesh (literally, an accounting of the soul): To examine one’s conscience in this manner, has the potential to lead to joy down the road, after rooting out unhealthy maladaptive behaviors, negative character traits, and making an effort to do better.

Personally, I count the hours of each and every day, until evening, when I hope to have fulfilled the day’s tasks, that are expected of me from Above. Yet, there is a disconnect between my quiet, reflective way of life, somewhat isolated, and removed from the changes occurring around the globe. Even so, to remain unaware of these changes will only provide a false assumption that these changes will not impact me personally.

May we all be productive in divinely inspired ways, and ask ourselves whether the future that the world is heading toward is one that we would view as ultimately of benefit to humankind. For, utopias have been promised by many movements of past history; in these cases, the promises were never realized. Why would anyone think differently in this case, where currently it may be that we are headed toward a dystopia. Regardless, trust in G-d, His will, and purpose, that His plan will be fulfilled, irrespective of any pursuit that is counter to His divine blueprint for humanity.

The Hebrew month of Adar is traditionally associated with joy (Taanis 29a).

May our joys in life increase, despite the challenges ahead. Amein.