repentance – Page 2 – The Tree of Life

Elul Preparation 5783

“Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in the nether-world, behold, Thou art there.”

– Psalm 139:7-8, JPS 1917 Tanach

During the month of Elul, we are called to look past the surface level of ourselves; this is no easy task for anyone caught up in images, that is to say, the presentation of oneself as an image that does not correspond to who one really is. Yet, we should be careful not to continue fooling ourselves, if we have not already recognized the false images of ourselves that we might unconsciously present to others. Instead of upgrading our image, we need to look closely at its flaws.

This is the only way to gain an honest assessment of oneself. For, we are compelled by the quality of this month to judge ourselves, in order to diminish being judged disfavourably on Rosh HaShannah. We have a full month’s preparation to examine our own conscience, for the sake of improving ourselves, by first “cleaning house.” We must empty ourselves of all the clutter that has accumulated over time, creating obstacles between us and our ideal potential.

Where can we start? In every moment, we have a starting point. That is to say, that we may start in the present moment. If recollected enough, insight can be gained into our true nature, both the good and the bad, the strengths and the weaknesses, the virtues and the flaws. As is written, H’Shem will be with us when we are focused on the positive; and, He will also be present in our endeavor to explore our negative character traits.

The Paradox of Change

The Paradox of Change: The Key to Teshuvah

On the one hand, we are to look forward to the changes brought about within us, by our essential focus on G-d in our lives, for our own good. On the other hand, the constant renewal of our soul, every morning, being open to the existential shift in our nature, is dependent upon our commitment to the unchanging G-d, whose attributes remain the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Our lives our meant to revolve around Him, not the other way around. So, while we are shaped in His image, we cannot arbitrarily shape Him in our own image. While we are called upon to meet His expectations, we may not expect Him to change because of our expectations of Him. We must bend our own will, in order to serve Him at times of resistance; yet, we must not think that His will may make exceptions to meet our unjust demands.

While it is true that Abraham attempted to haggle with G-d, for the sake of the righteous, his cause was just. We are not on the level of righteousness of Abraham. And, while Jacob wrestled with the divine, and was given the victory, his transformation from Jacob the deceiver to Israel the upright was whole, sincere, and well-earned. Are we able to foster such commitment in ourselves?

The trajectory of our lives, as well as the prescribed course to follow to bring about spiritual transformation must be fixed upon the Immoveable One’s axis of reference, namely the collection of writings having to do with an exposition of His will for all of mankind, according to each one’s station in life. For, it is written of Abraham, “in thee and thy seed, shall all the families of the earth be blessed” (Genesis 28:1, PS).

Therefore, there is no room for allowance of drifting outside the path that is both at once engraved in our hearts, and brought about each day into an unfolding reality that previously did not exist. For each moment of time has a potential beyond what we can conceive of with our limited perception. G-d is Infinite, and He is perfectly capable of bringing about improvement in our souls, beyond our own expectations.

This is not only true for the ba’al teshuvah, who is in need of a constant attitude of openness to godly change in order to continually reconcile with G-d. Rather, this is also true for anyone who has already been on the derech since childhood, being raised in an environment whereof a religious upbringing was key.

parasha Nasso 5783

weekly Torah reading: parasha Nasso (Numbers 4:21 – 7:89) 5783

“Speak unto the children of Israel: When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to commit a trespass against the L-RD, and that soul be guilty; then shall they confess their sin which they have done.”

– Numbers 5:6-7, JPS 1917 Tanach

According to Rambam (Maimonides), this verse is the basis of vidui (confession), within the context of teshuvah (repentance). “And shall make reparation in full” (Numbers 5:7). This latter part of the pasuk (verse) denotes reparations made to others, if the aveirah (transgression) is against another person. It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word for reparation is from the same shoresh (root), shuv (to return) as teshuvah (repentance). Essentially, repentance is a return to H’Shem (the L-RD). “Let us return unto the L-RD” (Hosea 5:15b, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Maimonides offers a basic example of how to approach vidui (confession): “I beseech Thee, O Great Name! I have sinned; I have been obstinate; I have committed [profane acts] against Thee, particularly in doing thus and such. Now, behold! I have repented and am ashamed of my actions; forever will I not relapse into this thing again.” He further states that whoever takes it upon him or herself to further elaborate, is considered praiseworthy. Nachman of Breslov notes that one measure of having done a complete teshuvah (return to H’Shem), is if in the same situation wherein had previously sinned, this time, avoids sin in the given situation.

Let the Light Shine

motzei Shabbos: parasha Tetzaveh 5783

(based on Likutei Amarim – beginning of ch.29)

The light of the seven-branched menorah in the Mishkan (portable tabernacle of the desert was like the original light (ohr chadash) of creation, even before the sun, moon, and the stars were created. How so? First of all, the mishkan itself is likened to a microcosm of the world. This is derived by the sages, who noted the parallel language between the creation narrative, and the building of the Mishkan. Additionally, the accoutrements of the miskan are likened to aspects of the soul. Hence, it follows that the menorah may be understood as symbolic of the light of the soul: “The spirit of man is the lamp of the L-RD” (Proverbs 20:27, JPS).

The Tanya references the teaching from the Zohar, concerning chochmah, a window within the soul, whereof the divine light may shine through, if we do not “pull down the shades,” so to speak by way of darkening our minds and tainting our soul with the stains of our aveiros (sins). Thus, if we are unable to let the light shine through, the Tanya recommends, based on a passage in the Zohar, that we may seek to “crush” our egos, through introspection, resulting in alleviating the darkness that obscures the light in our souls.

“True sacrifice to G-d is a contrite spirit; G-d, You will not despise a contrite and crushed heart.” – Psalms 51:19, JPS 1985 Tanach

motzei Shabbos: Terumah 5783

motzei Shabbos: parasha Terumah 5783 – Everlasting Values

“Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him.” – Exodus 25:2, JPS 1985 Tanach

The sin of the golden calf preceded the building of the mishkan (tabernacle). The gold used to build the calf, was contributed by the men, who gathered the earrings for the cause of making an idolatrous calf. “Take off the gold rings that are on the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me” (Exodus 32:2, JPS 1985 Tanach).

When Moses returned from on top of Sinai, he shattered the tablets upon discerning the idolatrous revelry focused on the golden calf; thus, in effect, the covenant was symbolically broken upon its intended reception (Jeremiah 31:32). Incidentally, the covenant was not renewed, until Moshe spent another forty days on the mountain; and, brought down the second set of tablets.

Yet, first, Moshe pleaded on behalf of B’nei Yisrael for H’Shem to forgive their descent into idolatry. Moreover, it can be understood that even before the actual transgression, the remedy for the sin had already been given to Moshe on the mountain, when he received the instructions regarding all of the details for the building of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). For, “the Tabernacle was a form of atonement for the sin of the golden calf” (Or HaChayim, JT Shekalim 1:5, sefaria.org).

The collection itself of the materials for the construction of the mishkan served as a form of repentance; inasmuch that the collection was designated as a free will offering; this reflects the nature of teshuvah (repentance). Or HaChayim explains that this is the reason why the collection was not made mandatory; instead, everyone contributed of their own free will, inclination, and what their heart compelled them to give; otherwise, “they would not enjoy the atonement for their participation in the sin of the golden calf” (Or HaChayim, sefaria.org).

The essential nature of the Mishkan reveals a hint as to why this type of repentance led towards reconciliation with H”Shem. The Mishkan is where H’Shem’s presence dwelt, in a visible way when the clouds of glory would hover over the Tabernacle. There is an inherent transition enacted amongst the people, from idolatry to the worship of H’Shem, indicated by the difference between them freely contributing gold for the golden calf; versus giving freely from their heart for the tabernacle that will enable the worship of H’Shem. We may also make that transition in our lives, from the idolatry of the modern world, towards the everlasting values given to us at Sinai.

Yom Kippur Katan: A Monthly Renewal of the Soul

Entering the New Month of Adar 5783

In lieu of the communal sin offering being brought up to the mizbeach in the Beis HaMikdash, a day of repentance, immediately preceding the New Month was established: this is called Yom Kippur Katan. And, the observance is on the 29th of the preceding month, in preparation of the renewal of the soul, that we hope to foster, through prayer, fasting, and repentance.

Diminished by Sin, Renewed by Teshuvah

“No greenery remained on the trees or the grass of the field in the entire land of Egypt.” – Exodus 10:15

It is as if to say that Egypt was deprived of its finery. Later, the Egyptian people, who had developed a sense of respect toward the Children of Israel, gave them their silver and gold vessels, as well as fine garments; thus was Egypt depleted. This is metaphorically the effect of sin upon our lives, that the corruption within eventually takes on an outward appearance, diminishing our regality as beings created in the image of G-d. Additionally, the external manifestation of sin may appear in a way, and a measure, concomitant with the aveira (sin).

Consider that even though King David was forgiven for his transgression, he was still chastised as a measure of H’Shem’s attribute of justice. Lest we think that teshuvah is too easy of a way to wipe our sins clean, perhaps, like David, we are still chastised, yet, to a lesser degree than we would have been if we were obstinate to the point of not acknowledging our sins. One might say that this is an example of the dynamic interchange of mercy and justice, working in tandem with each other, to a greater or lesser degree; and, we hope that H’Shem will always sweeten the judgment against us, by way of showing His mercy toward us.

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The Inward Focus

“Look to yourselves,” we would like to say to others, when we see others casting blame upon people, institutions, and society at large. Yet, for the sake of our own benefit, we should not avoid “looking toward ourselves.” The Ten Days of Awe, for all intents and purposes, are a time of increased reflection upon our faults, errors, and sins, with the aim of bringing these into the light, and asking forgiveness. Additionally, on Yom Kippur, our atonement is sought through even more intense prayer, and H’Shem willing, bestowed upon us, so that we can begin the new year with the renewal of our souls, having been cleansed through a sincere teshuvah. Thus, our inward focus on improving ourselves, is rewarded by H’Shem, in acknowledgment of our efforts to change from within; and, having been relieved of our guilty conscience, we can experience the joy of Sukkot.

“Let us search and examine our ways, and turn back to the L-RD.”

– Lamentations 3:40, JPSN

Rosh HaShannah 5783

Rosh HaShannah is a time of renewal. Through teshuvah (repentance) we prepare ourselves to face H’Shem: Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King) on the Day of Judgment for the New Year. Through proper reflection, and rooting out our sins well in advance of that day, we hope to begin the new year with the resolve to start anew.

Rosh HaShannah is considered to be a day of judgment for the new year. We would like to be judged favorably, so we make an accounting of the soul (heshbnon hanefesh), in order that our conscience will permit ourselves to stand before the King. According to the Zohar, “’You stand this day all of you before the L-RD your G-d’” (Deuteronomy 30:9) refers to Rosh HaShannah, when we stand before H’Shem in judgment for the New Year.

When we examine our conscience, we may be brought to a place of moral compunction as a result of guilt and remorse. During the Ten Days of Repentance, otherwise known as the Days of Awe, we continue to search our souls for the flaws that need to be brought into the light . During that time, any judgments against us for the year may be diminished through our efforts at “teshuvah (repentance), tefillah (prayer), and tsedokah (charity),” that “avert the severity of the decree,” for the decrees are not sealed until Yom Kippur.

Stand in Righteousness 5782

parasha Nitzavim 5782

“Ye are standing this day all of you before the L’rd your G’d.

– Deuteronomy 29:9, JPS

Moshe speaks to the generation of B’nei Yisrael (the Children of Israel) that will soon cross the Jordan River into the Promised Land, under the new leadership of Joshua. Moshe reassures the people that despite their transgressions in the wilderness, they are still “standing this day.” The Hebrew word used for stand in this verse is nitzavim, from the shoresh (root word) NZV, meaning to stand upright.

Moshe explains that they are gathered together, standing before H’Shem, “that thou shouldest enter (uvalaso) into the covenant of the L’RD thy G’d (Deuteronomy 29:11, JPS). The shoresh, AVR, meaning to enter, also means to cross over. The use of this word is apropos of B’nei Yisrael’s immanent crossing over the Jordan to Canaan. Figuratively speaking, they are crossing over as wanderers in the wilderness into the Covenant. The proclamation given by Moses in this passage is a renewal of the covenant.

The Zohar relates the phrase, “Ye are standing this day” to Rosh HaShannah. When we stand before H’Shem on Rosh HaShannah, the Day of Judgment, when we are judged for the year, the books are opened, and we hope to be judged favorably, so that we may cross over into a good year. Let us search and try our ways, and return to the L’RD (Lamentations 3:40, JPS), so that we may stand before Him, and be inscribed in the Book of Life.