Entering the New Month of Adar 5783
In lieu of the communal sin offering being brought up to the mizbeach in the Beis HaMikdash, a day of repentance, immediately preceding the New Month was established: this is called Yom Kippur Katan. And, the observance is on the 29th of the preceding month, in preparation of the renewal of the soul, that we hope to foster, through prayer, fasting, and repentance.
“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem; may they prosper that love thee. Peace be within thy walls, and prosperity within thy palaces. For my brethren and companions’ sakes, I will now say: ‘Peace be within thee. For the sake of the house of HaShem our G-d I will seek thy good.”
– Psalm 122:6-9, JPS 1917 Tanach
pray for the peace of Jerusalem: gathering at the Western Wall: click here.
terror in Jerusalem on the Sabbath: click here for news article
motzei Shabbos: parasha Vayigash 5783
The divine yearning within us seeks to be consoled, by uniting ourselves with H’Shem. Therefore, rather than ignore the natural affinity that the soul has for the Creator, we should acknowledge this vital element in our personal makeup. That is to say, that without nurturing the soul’s need to connect to H’Shem, we deprive ourselves of the true source of our life. Yet, the question remains, how to properly access this source, the root of our essential selves
Judah makes an impassioned plea, for the sake of Benjamin, while addressing the Egyptian prince (Joseph) that stands before him: “Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord’s ears” (Genesis 44:18, JPS 1917 Tanach). Nesivos Shalom renders the passage in a symbolic manner, ascribing Judah’s words to a conversation with G-d. Rather than the plain meaning, wherein Judah is addressing the prince that stands before him as lord, he is addressing H’Shem. This passage is an allusion to the essence of prayer during the current exile; we seeking to consolation from the Shechinah – the presence of G-d Who dwells with us, for he is with us in the midst of our nisyanos as is written, “I will be with him in trouble” (Psalm 91:15).
.During this current exile, we may seek consolation through prayer; and, G-d’s presence will be with us, even in the midst of our suffering. Let us speak in G-d’s ears, all that troubles us, even offering our very selves as servants, as Judah offered to be a servant in place of his brother, Benjamin. Let us serve as surety for our brethren, K’lal Yisrael (All of Israel), and lead the way, towards redemption from Galus (Exile). Just as Joseph was reconciled to his brothers, may all of Israel be reconciled to H’Shem, through the unity that will be brought about only through Moshiach.
Please, if you feel inspired to do so, pray for my mother, Yehudis bas Tzviya (Judith, daughter of Sylvia). She is 82 years old, and has a heart condition. She is being evaluated at a medical center, and may need to be hospitalized. She had been diagnosed with stage 2 heart failure; at current, further testing is being done.
May G-d bless you for your kindness.
A Few Thoughts on Prayer and Sincerity: Elokai Neshama
“My G-d, the soul you placed within me is pure.”
– from the morning prayers
Too often, I am unable to say the beginning of this prayer “as is.” Was the original soul that G-d placed within me pure when I was born? Yes, as far as I know, I can receive this as a truth.
Is my soul renewed every morning, having spent some time in the upper realms to get a recharge, before being placed back within me before I wake up? No doubt, that my soul is renewed each and every morning, as implied elsewhere, “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23).
Yet, I know myself too well; my conscience is not necessarily renewed to its pristine quality every morning. And, if yesterday’s taint upon the soul is still present in my mind, my soul does not “feel” pure when I awake to the “rise and shine” of the day.
For some time, I have been disconcerted by the apparent incongruity of how I feel, as compared to the literal text; so, I explored various ways to understand this concept of the soul’s purity being restored. One finding is that, only a certain part of the soul is referred to in the prayer; that part is “pure.”
I also seem to recall learning of tzaddikim, who were unable to say certain prayers in sincerity. As far as I can recall, they modified those particular prayers a little bit, for themselves, in the moment, in order to be heartfelt and true to their words. Yet, this is not to be understood as a pretext to actually changing the prayers of chazal (the sages).
Yet, there does appear to be a pretext to solving my own troublesome dilemma, by altering a prayer somewhat, at least, in the moment, to be faithful and true to one’s own words. As such, I usually say, “My G-d, may the soul you placed within me be pure.” I have turned a statement into a request.
Additionally, the prayers may be personalized, to some extent, while reciting them: that is the nature of personal kavannos, best explained as thoughts about the prayers while reciting them. (There are also specially designed kavannos to recall while reciting certain prayers).
I am at my desk, nearly twenty-four hours a day, for I often fall to sleep at my desk. Yet, the time has arrived for me to question my motives, and activities. What do I do? Mostly I think, read, and write about G-d, religion, and scripture. However, this will not suffice. For, I have very little lived experience in actually serving G-d within the framework of an active compatible community. To what avail have I been attending services on Shabbos on a regular basis? Virtually none, for the pace of service is too fast for me to meaningful follow along. The interruptions and chatter are always present to some degree; and, additionally, there is no fertile opportunity for me to foster any sense of kavannah before during or after the service. Moreover, seudah (lunch) after services, is disappointing as well, even though at times, I do get to here an interesting dvar. Even so, mostly, the table(s) are full of mundane chatter about worldly topics, forbidden to speak about on Shabbos.
And, so, at my desk shall I remain until I am able to find another community for myself, according to H’Shem’s directive. Baruch H’Shem (Praise G-d), for taking me this far on the journey. As usual, I will need to move on at some point, perhaps, in the near future; that is to say, that it is typical in my life to change, and need to find somewhere else where there is “room to grow.” For now, I will take a break from attendance at the local shul where I have been davening in-person on Shabbos and holidays. After all, I still have the shul I attend on Zoom during the weekdays, as well as on Shabbos, early in the morning, inasmuch as I give myself a dispensation to do so, being that it is forbidden to use the internet on the Sabbath. It figures that all of these thoughts are preceded by my first ever purchase of a bottle of unkosher wine on Friday afternoon (under extenuating circumstances); perhaps, the treif wine has made my brain “loopy,” so to speak; although I feel as if I am “liberated” from the minutia of details, that plague the mind of an observant Jew. So be it, for now. I will remain on the derech (path); yet, I will tread mindfully as I walk along to eternity.
note: this blogpost was posted exactly at the end of Shabbat, erev 30 Nissan 5782.
“And Moses said unto the people: Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the L-RD, which He will work for you to-day; for whereas ye have seen the Egyptians to-day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.” – Exodus 14:13, JPS 1917 Tanach
As the Egyptian army approached, Torah records that B’nei Yisrael, encamped near the Sea of Reeds, cried out to H’Shem in great fear (14:10). Commentary notes that the people were divided in their response: 1). Some cried out to H’Shem in prayer, akin to the later writing of the psalmist, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will make mention of the name of the L-RD our G-d” (Psalm 20:8, JPS). 2). Another group of the people, having great trepidation about their circumstances, took the exact opposite approach, expressing their regret for having left Egypt, and complaining to Moshe (see Exodus 14:10-12).
When Moshe responded to the consternation of B’nei Yisrael, in light of their present circumstances, despite the seemingly near danger that was imminent, he said to them, “Fear ye not, stand still and see” (see above). Or HaChayim comments, that the words “stand still” convey the essence of prayer, a reliance on H’Shem, turning to Him in the midst of nisyanos (trials). He notes that the same Hebrew phrase is used in the Tanach, in regard to the prayer of Hannah, Samuel’s mother, who prayed in all sincerity to H’Shem. The picture derived from this understanding is one of a people’s reliance on H’Shem, in hope of seeing His salvation at a time of great need, when Pharaoh’s army was bearing down on them.
That night, an angel of H’Shem protected the people from the Egyptians, a cloud darkened the Egyptian camp, while a pillar of light shined upon the B’nei Yisrael. Moshe stretched his hand over the sea; and, H’Shem caused the sea to part by way of a strong east wind. The Children of Israel passed through the sea; however, when the Egyptians pursued them, Pharaoh and his army were drowned in the sea. Our own expectations of H’Shem for deliverance in our lives, regardless of our circumstances, when made through the prayer of sincerity, may bring results greater than our expectations. Especially, when there is no other recourse to be made, it is then that we may see the grandeur of His salvation. This is the type pf prayer that will be required, directly preceding the Final Redemption.
Hope, is the mainstay of my life
and the fruition of my thoughts.
Hope, will outweigh the strife
that weighs heavily upon my heart.
Hope, the champion of the future,
a prelude to ultimate victory.
Hope, is enough to suture
the wounds inflicted by misery.
Hope, will mend the broken fragments
of a life unduly shattered.
Hope, will diminish the lament
of those whose clothes are tattered.
Hope, designed to stich each patch
and sew together the unraveled strands.
Hope, will help to gather all who are lost,
like collecting so many grains of sand.
Hope, will meld with faith,
bridging the gap in between.
Hope obtained, will never fade,
always realizing the dream.
“And Moses and Aaron went into the tent of meeting, and came out, and blessed the people; and the glory of the L-RD appeared unto all the people. And there came forth fire from the L-RD.” – Leviticus 9:23, JPS 1917 Tanach
“The fire came down like a pillar from heaven to earth.” – Sifra
The people had grown expectant, to the point of concern, over the previous seven days, in which Moses daily performed the inauguration service on his own. On the eighth day, corresponding to the first of Nissan, one year after leaving Egypt, everything was in place; yet, still there was no fire from Shomayim (Heaven).
The offerings of that day included a calf as a sin-offering, of which commentary mentions atoned for Aaron’s role in the making of the golden calf. Also, a goat as a sin-offering to atone for the people. Additionally, an olah, and the people’s shelamin – peace offering – as well as the daily morning Tamid offering.
It was at this point, that “Moses and Aaron went into the tent of meeting.” One possible explanation, offered by Rashi, who refers to Sifre, is that when Aaron perceived that the offerings had been made, yet, the heavenly fire had not descended, he thought that H’Shem was still angry with him, because of his role in the sin of the golden calf. He pleaded to Moshe, in the midst of his “inner shame,” whereupon they both entered the sanctuary to pray for H’Shem’s mercy.
What can be learned from this event? Even upon beginning his role as Kohein Gadol, when making the first offerings, Aaron recalled his sin, and through the prayers of Moshe, sought complete atonement and forgiveness for his role in the making of the golden calf. Overall, this must have been a humbling experience for him; elsewhere, commentary explains that even though he felt ashamed, this was precisely why he had been chosen, because he remained humble, as a result of recalling his sin. The principle is encapsulated in the pasuk (verse), “my sin is ever before me” (Psalm 51:5). If we keep our past sins in mind, this will help us to keep our ego in check.
“This is it that the L-RD spoke, saying: Through them that are nigh unto Me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified.”
– Leviticus 10:3, JPS 1917 Tanach
According to chazal, Nadav and Avihu are portrayed as righteous individuals who overstepped the boundaries in place for them as kohanim; as they tried to draw closer to H’Shem, in an unauthorized manner, they were consumed by “fire from before H’Shem” (Leviticus 10:2, JPS). Aaron’s two sons died, only for the sake of sanctifying H’Shem’s name (Zevachim 115b). Within the same Talmudic passage, another view expresses their deaths in a more nuanced way, alluding to their transgression, by making the point that they had previously been cautioned against drawing too close to H’Shem.
Rashi comments that through the execution of judgment upon righteous individuals, yiras H’Shem (fear of G-d) is brought upon the people. This is an important principle; with respect to Nadav and Avihu, their deaths caused the people to witness how precarious serving G-d may be, if a righteous person is not careful in respect to his avodah. The deaths of Nadav and Avihu show, by way of an example with a deadly consequence, that H’Shem needs to be approached with great reverence, awe, and respect.
A harsher condemnation of Nadav and Avihu may be rendered by a perspective that is even more critical of their transgression. They brought “alien fire” from a source other than the fire on the mizbeach. The fire on the mizbeach had its origin from Shomayim (Leviticus 9:24); according to Sifre, fire descended in the shape of a pillar between heaven and earth. Yet, Nadav and Avihu flouted the implicit directive, to draw fire from the outer mizbeach for all of the offerings (the original fire from H’Shem).
What could have motivated Nadav and Avihu to take alien fire for their incense offering, instead of the fire that H’Shem had provided? One view critiques them as desiring to usurp the authority of Moshe and Aaron. Furthermore, because the authority of Moshe and Aaron was given to them from H’Shem, then flouting that authority would be akin to disregarding the authority of H’Shem. Therefore, it could be inferred that their taking of alien fire constitutes a betrayal of their motives to disregard the sovereignty of H’Shem.
Consider that towards the end of the first Temple period, the people were admonished, “they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns, that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2:13, JPS). The people had sought out other gods – alien gods – to worship, according to their own intentions; they had forsaken H’Shem.
Today, when we approach H’Shem in prayer, our avodah (service), equal to prayer of the heart, we should approach H’Shem perform our service in reverence. Serving H’Shem, through the observance of the mitzvot, as well as through prayer, may also require a rigorous examination of conscience, for the sake of bringing to light ulterior motives, faults, and character defects.
“Who shall ascend into the mountain of H’Shem? And who shall stand in His holy place? He that hath clean hands and a pure heart [lev tahor]; who hath not taken My name in vain, and hath not sworn deceitfully.” – Psalm 24:4, JPS 1917 Tanach
The Tree of Life 