Ever since the day after Yom Kippur (the day of Atonement), I have become acutely aware of the opportunity to start anew. Seemingly, within the framework of my awareness, I notice moreso than ever now, my immediate faults. They linger, as if a stark reminder of my human frailties, not measuring up even to my own standard, nor in regard to my interactions with others. So each aveirah (some left undefined, except for the experience of my conscience being twinged) serves to keep me in all humility, as an individual who is ever seeking righteousness, yet, often falling short of the mark. These reckonings should be dealt with at the end of the day, more fully, when I might have time to review my day. Yet, if I fail to do so, I run the risk of the taints on my soul beginning to accrue already for the year. They simply must be dealt with while I am conscious of them.
Tag: repentance
The Hidden Order of Things
motzei Shabbos: parashas Vayelech 5782
“And they shall say on that day, ‘Surely it is because our G-d is not in our midst that these evils have befallen us.’” – Deuteronomy 31:17, JPS 1985 Tanach
“They will be intelligent enough to conclude that all the troubles which suddenly overtook them must be due to G-d having deliberately left their midst” (Or HaChayim on Deuteronomy 31:17, sefaria.org). The key word here in this commentary is “deliberately,” as if it is implied that the people realized that their own sins compelled G-d to abandon them. This is an important connection for them to make, whereas without recognizing their own complicity, would only have led to blame G-d for His abandonment of them, as if they had no part in the matter.
Consider the attitude of some, in blaming G-d for harsh events in life, holding Him accountable for our suffering, without acknowledging the sins that created the distance between us and Him in the first place. The point being, that it is the wrong attitude to have, a spoiled mindset to think that we deserve better, despite our abandoning Him through our own misdeeds. And, yet, He is compassionate and merciful, inasmuch that hiding His face from us, He desires us to cry out with a heartfelt repentant stance, taking it upon ourselves, to return to Him, in all of our ways, in order to elicit His forgiveness.
So, we do not understand G-d to be capricious: rather everything is ultimately designed for our benefit, even the chastisement that is placed upon us, when we go astray of G-d’s commandments. For nothing happens by chance in an ordered world, that is a world whose order is often above our own understanding. Any randomness that appears to occur is only based upon a perspective that does not fully comprehend His sovereignty over all events in the world, as well as those that occur to us on an individual level. To understand that everything happens according to G-d’s will, or is permitted by Him, is to recognize His absolute sovereignty in all realms of life.
motzei Rosh HaShannah reflection – 5782
“And the new year begins,” I thought to myself, after finishing the cup of wine drank in conjunction with the brief havdallah service recited at the end of a holiday during the week. Thus concludes the commemoration of Rosh HaShannah, and the beginning of the new year, replete with its ten day focus on teshuvah (repentance) during the ten Days of Awe, culminating with Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). Therefore, the theme of judgment continues, throughout these days, as the decrees are not sealed until the neilah service that concludes Yom Kippur. In fact, for the traditionally-minded Jew, the day after Rosh HaShannah is a minor fat day (the fast of Gedaliah) that helps us to counteract any indulgence that occurred during the two days of Rosh HaShannah. This allows us to recalibrate after the celebrations of the New Year, lest we forget the gravity of these days.
For myself, this is the beginning of the three week period that incorporates the shifting of one holiday to another, inclusive of Rosh HaShannah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchas Torah. This is the only time of the year that I can sincerely validate taking time off, for the sake of a “vacation,” that is more like a three week religious retreat. Moreover, considering that the new Torah reading cycle does not begin until Simchas Torah, the end of the year is still upon us; and, the complete beginning of the new year is still not yet begun. We sort of ease into the renewal of the year on different levels, over the next three weeks. This is one reason why, I am compelled to devote myself to these themes of “new beginnings,” during this extended New Year commemoration.
Rosh HaShannah 5782
Rosh HaShannah is a time of renewal. Through teshuvah (repentance) we prepare ourselves to face H’Shem: Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King) on the Day of Judgment for the New Year. Through proper reflection, and rooting out our sins well in advance of that day, we hope to begin the new year with the resolve to start anew.
Inidentally, in regard to the renewal of the moon, on that day, when the first sliver of the new moon becomes visible, it is written that it is a time of atonement (Rosh Chodesh musaf service). The waning of the moon, until it is completely diminished by the end of the month, serves to remind us of our own deficiencies, faults, and weaknesses. At the end of the year, when the moon wanes towards the end of Elul; at this time, what merit can we claim in our lives over the past year. Knowing our spiritual paucity, we pray to H’Shem for His mercy.
Rosh HaShannah is considered to be a day of judgment for the new year. We would like to be judged favorably, so we make an accounting of the soul (heshbnon hanefesh), in order that our conscience will permit ourselves to stand before the King. According to the Zohar, “’You stand this day all of you before the L-RD your G-d’” (Deuteronomy 30:9) refers to Rosh HaShannah, when we stand before H’Shem in judgment for the New Year.
When we examine our conscience, we may be brought to a place of moral compunction as a result of guilt and remorse. During the Ten Days of Repentance, otherwise known as the Days of Awe, we continue to search our souls for the flaws that need to be brought into the light . During that time, any judgments against us for the year may be diminished through our efforts at “teshuvah (repentance), tefillah (prayer), and tsedokah (charity),” the mitvoth (good deeds) that “avert the severity of the decree,” for the decrees are not sealed until Yom Kippur.
motzei Shabbos: Elul Preparation
“Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in the nether-world, behold, Thou art there.”
– Psalm 139:7-8, JPS 1917 Tanach
During the month of Elul, we are called to look past the surface level of ourselves; this is no easy task for anyone caught up in images, that is to say, the presentation of oneself as an image that does not correspond to who one really is. Yet, we should be careful not to continue fooling ourselves, if we have not already recognized the false images of ourselves that we might unconsciously present to others. Instead of upgrading our image, we need to look closely at its flaws.
This is the only way to gain an honest assessment of oneself. For, we are compelled by the quality of this month to judge ourselves, in order to diminish being judged disfavourably on Rosh HaShannah. We have a full month’s preparation to examine our own conscience, for the sake of improving ourselves, by first “cleaning house.” We must empty ourselves of all the clutter that has accumulated over time, creating obstacles between us and our ideal potential.
Where can we start? In every moment, we have a starting point. That is to say, that we may start in the present moment. If recollected enough, insight can be gained into our true nature, both the good and the bad, the strengths and the weaknesses, the virtues and the flaws. As is written, H’Shem will be with us when we are focused on the positive; and, He will also be present in our endeavor to explore our negative character traits.
drash: parashas Re’eh 5781
“For thou art a holy people unto the L-RD thy G-d, and the L-RD hath chosen thee to be His own treasure out of all the peoples that are upon the face of the earth.”
– Deuteronomy 14:2, JPS 1917 Tanach
The children of Israel are an am segulah – a treasured people – unto the L-RD. As a people, we are still His treasure, that He values “out of all the peoples that are upon the face of the earth.” In the words of the Targum, “a people more beloved than all the peoples who are upon the face of the earth” (Targum Jonathan; sefaria.org). Within the overall context of the passage, wherein this verse is found, this is the reason given for the children of Israel not to disfigure yourselves as is the custom of the nations to do when mourning. Additionally, as follows in the passage, also, not to eat anything considered to be an abomination.
This is the basis of holiness, whereas the Hebrew word translated as “holy” is kadosh, having the basic meaning of “to be separate,” as in separated unto the L-RD, or separate from the nations. According to Rashi, one reason for this spiritual status is because of the merit of our forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Moreover, it is the children of Israel that H’Shem appeared to at Mt. Sinai; and, He gave us the Torah, when He made an eternal covenant with us. The eternal nature of this covenant is expressed as follows:
“Thus saith the L-RD, Who giveth the sun for a light by day, and the ordinances of the moon and of the stars for a light by night, who stirreth up the sea, that waves thereof roar, the L-RD of hosts is His name: If these ordinances depart from before Me, saith the L-RD, then the seed of Israel shall cease from being a nation before Me for ever. Thus saith the L-RD: If heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, then will I also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done, saith the L-RD.” – Jeremiah 31:35-37, JPS
In other words, our relationship with H’Shem is as sure as the heights of heaven and the foundation of the earth; by signifying our bond to H’Shem by way of this comparison, it is made clear to us that we are truly a treasured people unto the L-RD, despite all of our transgressions against Him. Even so, we are called to turn our hearts to Him, through sincere teshuvah (repentance), a heartfelt confession of our sins, with a commitment not to repeat them; rather, that our lives may be changed for the good.
Turn Again
“What is meant by, ‘Surely he scorneth the scorners, but he giveth grace unto the lowly’ [Proverbs 3:34]? If one comes to defile himself, he is given an opening; if one comes to cleanse himself, he is helped.” – Talmud Shabbos 104a
The Sages teach, based on the above Talmudic passage, and the configuration of the Hebrew letter, “hei,” that H’Shem will “give grace unto the lowly” to do teshuvah (repentance) through the narrow way. This is represented by the small space towards the top of the letter hei – ה – the narrow gate that leads towards teshuvah (repentance). On the other hand, “surely he scorneth scorners” can be understood to mean that G-d will also give occasion to those whose way is stubbornly opposed to following G-d’s word. The scorners are bent on following their own way that leads to “defilement;” for them, the way is broad, symbolized by the broad space at the bottom of the letter hei: ה.
“Know whence you came and to where you are going and before Whom you are destined to give a final accounting.” – Pirkei Avos 3:1
“The whole wide world is a very narrow bridge.”
– R’ Nachman of Breslov
A G-dly Sorrow
drash for parashas Mattos-Masei 5781
“These are the stages of the children of Israel, by which they went forth out of the land of Egypt.”
– Numbers 33:1, JPS 1917 Tanach
The forty-two journeys of the Children of Israel, “their goings out according to their journeys by the commandment of H’Shem,” were seen from the perspective of G-d, each one as a significant journey of progress, according to His plan. Each time they set out on a journey to the next encampment, there was no need for regret, if they accomplished, learned, and advanced in character development, according to G-d’s will.
Yet, even if they failed, they were given the opportunity to return to Him through teshuvah (repentance). Therefore, there was still no cause to regret, as long as they would be focused on a “godly sorrow,” that would bring them to a place of acknowledgment in regard to their aveiros (sins). This is akin to teshuvah tataah, fostering a contrite spirit, that will elicit H’Shem’s compassion from Above.
On the contrary, a sorrow in the form of yearning for the past, e.g., the comforts of Egypt (Numbers 11:5-6), or provisions other than the manna and water that H’Shem provided in the desert, led to complaining and rebellion. These complaints, and rebelliousness were tantamount to turning away from their divinely inspired goal to enter the Promised Land.
Even so, the goal remained, to enter Eretz Canaan as a people separated from the nations, in order to serve H’Shem, who only had their best interests in mind. And, H’Shem still has our best interests in mind today. He has not forgotten us, nor our individual needs, as we go from one place to another, journeying along throughout the stages of lives; moreover, He has set forth our path towards the Promised Land of Olam Haba (the World to Come).
Teshuvah (Repentance)
Speak unto the children of Israel: When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to commit a trespass against the L-RD, and that soul be guilty; then shall they confess their sin which they have done.”
– Numbers 5:6-7a, JPS 1917 Tanach
According to Rambam (Maimonides), this verse is the basis of vidui (confession), within the context of teshuvah (repentance). “And shall make reparation in full” (Numbers 5:7, JPS). This latter part of the pasuk (verse) denotes reparations made to others, if the aveirah (transgression) is against another person. It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word for reparation is from the same shoresh (root), shuv (to return) as teshuvah (repentance). Essentially, repentance is a return to H’Shem (the L-RD). “Let us return unto the L-RD” (Hosea 5:15b, JPS 1917 Tanach).
Such confession is a mandatory commandment. How is the verbal confession made? The sinner says thus: “I beseech Thee, O Great Name! I have sinned; I have been obstinate; I have committed profanity against Thee, particularly in doing thus and such. Now, behold! I have repented and am ashamed of my actions; forever will I not relapse into this thing again.” This is the elementary form of confession; but whosoever elaborates in confessing and extends this subject is, indeed, praise-worthy.
– Maimonides, Laws of Repentance; sefaria.org
Omer: Day 34 Tragic Lessons
In light of the recent tragedy at Meron, due in part to overcrowding, I would like to recount some insightful renderings made by others, concerning what can be learned from this tragedy. Any tragedy must be viewed as a significant event, meant to bring us to a greater understanding of ourselves, the condition of the soul, and a greater awareness of our connection to G-d. The insight is not my own, rather it is based on a few responses, given by certain authorities within the rabbinic world as well as a few other reputable sources.
A key thought to keep in mind, is that nobody is immune from judgments that are brought upon us as a people. Teshuvah (repentance) is first and foremost the primary response, in order to acknowledge that could have been us, if things were different. It is meaningful to do teshuvah, in respect to this tragedy, because this will place our response in the proper context, knowing that this is a wake up call to make heshbon hanefesh (an account of the soul) by examining our conscience.
The point was made by another source in the Jewish world, that Rabbi Akiva’s students, almost two thousand years ago suffered a high mortality rate due to a plague, attributed to their inability to respect each other’s viewpoints, thus showing a lack of respect towards each other. Showing respect to others is a basic quality that should be considered as part of our humanity.
It was mentioned that the type of overcrowding that leads to a neglect of acknowlegding the physical boundaries of others has been evident at other events of a similar nature. The worst case scenario of this kind of neglect has tragically occurred; as a result, to make this tragic event meaningful would include, not only doing to teshuvah for the sake of our own souls; also, to consider our own awareness of the physical space we give to others, respecting their boundaries. Of course, if I may add to this, the greater task at hand would be to also respect other people’s emotional and psychological boundaries.
I would not be writing any of this, except to reiterate as respectfully as possible, points already made by others much more qualified than me to make such statements. However, I will conclude with an attempt to connect the the attributes of the day to these lessons. Perhaps, one of the foundations of humility is to recognize that we all share a common humanity with each other. When we see ourselves, more or less on the same level as everyone else, then we will not try to lift ourselves up above others in any manner whatsoever. Thus, we would not disrespect others in our own attempts to fulfill mitzvoth (commandments) or minchagim (customs). Every mitzvah should be performed with the following commandment in mind, “to love our neighbor as ourself.”
Please, pray for healing of all those who suffered from this tragedy. The wounded, as well as the first responders who dealt with the psychological trauma of witnessing the aftermath. Also, for the consolation of the bereaved families and friends of those who lost their lives in Meron. Thank you very much. And, may G-d bless all of us in our endeavors to excel at improving ourselves.
The Tree of Life 