Tag: self improvement

Renewal of the Soul

A Pesach Reflection on True Freedom:

Our freedom is not guaranteed, unless we cooperate with HaShem. There were many in Egypt, who were left behind, because their hearts were not open to change. Imagine leaving everything you know behind you. All your comforts in this life, and everything that you take for granted would be exchanged for the emptiness of a barren desert. Yet, it is precisely within unfamiliar territory, within the fertile void, where the shadows of the past still linger, while the promise of a new day approaches, here, is where transformation, in desert of our lives, may occur. Every moment is given along with an opportunity of renewal. 

For the Children of Israel, G-d orchestrated the perfect opportunity of redemption, brought forth at midnight, when the tenth plague struck the land of Egypt. Not a single house of the Egyptians was left untouched by this plague, while the homes of the Israelites were safeguarded by the sign of the blood on their doorways. This sign represented their faith in HaShem to deliver them from Egyptian slavery.

From the depths of their heart, they cried out to G-d for 216 years, until they received their redemption. If we cry out about our challenges in life today, our nisyanos (sorrows) that burden our soul, we must cry out to HaShem. We can not voice the concerns of a troubled heart into a vacuum of space and time, expecting release. We must direct our troubles to G-d within the framework of exile and redemption, both past and present.

In like manner that blood was smeared on the doorposts of our ancestors’ homes, the doorway of our heart must be purified through teshuvah in order to receive atonement and release from bondage to our sins. If the influence of the yetzer hara upon our soul is to be diminished, then we need to seek G-d’s help in doing so. Deliverance through the right hand of G-d means trusting in His strength to redeem us from all that plagues our lives, darkens our spiritual insight, and burdens our conscience.

©2025 Tzvi Fievel all rights reserved

Orientation Toward Mercy

“As for me, in the abundance of Thy lovingkindness will I come into Thy house; I will bow down toward Thy holy temple in the fear of Thee.” – Psalm 5:8, JPS 1917 Tanach

 The reality is that when we face East to recite our prayers (outside of Israel), we do so in regard to directing our thoughts, heart, and focus toward the location of the Beis HaMikdash. This seems especially prescient to me, after Tisha b’Av, when the intent of that day is to dwell upon and reflect the loss of the Temple, and the on the otherside of the coin, acknowledge the rebuilding of the Third Temple. May we all merit to see that day.

Until we arrive at that day, where we are not only praying toward, rather, also, praying at the Holy Temple, we are called upon to pray in small sanctuaries (Ezekiel 11:16). Our prayer should be like entering into an inner sanctuary of solitude as well, finding refuge and solace.

Yet, upon leaving the physical space of worship, and stepping out of sacred time spent in communion with HaShem, we need to carry over those positive feelings into our lives. We each have certain areas of our lives that need improvement. This may include relationships with others. As such I offer these prayers, based upon the first few morning prayers in the siddur:

Ribono shel olam, may Your mercy overwhelm your attributes. And, may our limited capacity to show mercy toward others, also influence our middos. Specifically, may our mercy diminish our anger and frustration toward others. Amein.

In like manner that we request G-d to deal with us according to his attributes of kindness of mercy, we should be be compelled to show kindness, and have mercy toward others; so, that our negative emotions be overruled, diminished, and vanquished for the sake of the good, and peaceful relations with others, especially family, friends, and acquaintances.

©2024 Tzvi Fievel all rights reserved

Day 1 – counting of the omer

Day 1 – chesed within chesed

The amount of kindness that we show to others is dependent on how we view and treat ourselves. Genuine kindness is from a place of empathic consideration for the other. If we are kind to ourselves, we may be kind to others. We should act toward others the way we would show kindness to ourselves. This is encapsulated in the commandment to love your fellow as yourself.

The mercy that we show to others, especially in times of weakness, when we might otherwise respond in a harsh manner, is a way of transcending the egotistical drives that fashion us as human beings. Our instincts are usually focused more on ourselves than others. Yet, being truly human, means going beyond our comfort zone, by not giving in to our lesser inclinations and selfishness.

We must seek the welfare of others, not only ourselves. In this way, we lift up our souls to be cleansed from taint and impurity.

©2024 all rights reserved

Seeking Solace Amidst the Chaos

There is a spirit of unrest upon the world. I am speaking figuratively; yet, I am reminded of the opening of the Book of Genesis. The Ruach HaElokim (the spirit of G-d) hovered over the water. The earth itself was tovu vavohu – formless and void – and there was “darkness upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of G-d hovered over the face of the waters” (Genesis 1:2, JPS). The opening passage of the six days of Creation has to do with the unfolding of chaos into order over successive stages in the earth’s history.

It seems that rather than progressing from chaos into order according to G-d’s directive, his creation has again descended into chaos. This restlessness that compels dissent, protest, and division is in direct contrast to G-d’s presence hovering over the waters at the beginning of creation. Yet, there must be a compelling reason to believe that G-d’s presence, although not discernible at times, is still with His creation. And, He is the only One of whom we may turn toward to still the restlessness in our hearts.

For, if we tune into His presence within the silence of the nighttime, or in the early hours of the morning, the daily grind, and excessive focus on world events melts away into the air. It is at this quiet time, from evening to dawn, that solitude may be sought in the stillness. Within that peace, that is almost tangible, begins renewal, and the realization off what is essential in life.

A certain kind of detachment from the uproars in society, as portrayed in the news, and people’s constant attention on these distractions, is necessary in order to remove ourselves from the turmoil, so that our emotions are not compelled to react in a negative way. Without the solace provided by seeking out the peace from Above, I can’t imagine how else to bear with the incessant continuation of noise, whether it’s political, cultural, or societal. Religion has always provided a sanctuary for the heart and troubled mind, and faith the constant security of the soul.

©2024 all rights reserved

reflection: Lightening the Burden

brief reflection on 2nd aliyah of parasha Yisro 5784

Moses sat as magistrate (judge) over the people, while the people stood before him, with their inquiries of G-d. Moshe’s father-in-law, Yisro, gave him advice, saying that rather than wear himself out, and the people, he should delegate his ruling capacities to others, while only ruling himself on the more important cases.

Our burdens, cares, and worries should not be kept to ourselves. At the very least, through journaling, in a private journal, the act of writing down our concerns in life, will help to lift the weight off of our shoulders, as they are transferred to paper by pen or pencil, or onto a digital medium, typing out words formed by pixels.

As individuals, we can also reflect later upon what we have written, so that we can learn from our experience. Our nisyanos (sorrows) can become transformative, so that we may find joy later down the road. Yet, if we persist in our ways, we have no recourse toward self-improvement.

Moreover, through words, the expression of our inner thoughts become clearer, than before we spoke or wrote down what we want to convey, about our concerns. Our lives become better in terms of the quality of our lived experience. This is true as well, for the lives of others, because our newfound lightness of spirit and renewal of heart and mind will have a positive influence on others.

It is important to keep in mind, that we should first and foremost cast our burdens upon HaShem, so that He may lighten the load for us. Yet, it does help to be self-reflexive by writing out our thoughts first, and contemplating our ways and challenges in life.

Then, once we are clear on the perspective, from outside of our problems, rather than caught up in their sway, we can better formulate the words to describe the issues we are facing, and make a clear plea to G-d, or share with others. For the bold, even blogging our personal realizations may serve to help others, to learn from our own experience.

Awe & Reverence

Approaching life in a reverential manner requires a distance between the self and the sacred. It is also helpful to foster an inwardly silent mind; yet, in order to do so, great effort must be made to quiet the mind. Rather, we need to separate the essential jewels from the nonessential clutter of our minds. Only then, can we arrive at a place of stillness in the mind, wherein we can acknowledge the uniqueness of others and creation from an experiential standpoint of awe and reverence.

In solitude, or around others, an inner calmness may reside, within the sense of self, fostered, when connecting to the essential dimension of being human, that unique aloneness of our existence. This is not the normal state of mind that we are familiar with, unless we are able to become comfortable spending time alone, connecting to the stillness of our existence.

As human beings, our sense of “existential isolation” is minimized by our incessant activity in life, and preoccupations of the mind. We do not often leave ourselves much time to reflect upon ourselves, or the meaning of our lives, beyond our vocations. We busy ourselves with other things, than the inner dimension of the soul.

We are unique individuals on earth with a purpose for being here, above and beyond our everyday concerns. Moreover, our connection to G-d and the world around us is limited by our preoccupations with self. We enclose ourselves in our own personal spheres, surrounded by a bubble of protection from the other, the unknown, and anything that is outside our comfort zone.

Yet, the expansiveness felt by becoming absorbed in the beauty of a sunset, or the sky with its deep endless blue, is the type of awe that is available to us in regard to all of creation. We only need look beyond ourselves, while keeping our hearts pure. “Above all that thou guardest keep thy heart; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23, JPS 1917 Tanach).

Habitual Patterns, Eternal endeavors

Moving Past the Comfort Zone, One Step at a Time

The one who makes the extra effort to improve himself, by going beyond his or her established norm is doing well. In order to break a habit or move past one’s “comfort zone,” that first step is required. For example, in regard to breaking a habit, in the moment, one must change his mind, about continuing with whatever his compulsory drive is about to compel him to do.

In the case of moving out of one’s comfort zone, it is important to go the extra mile. So, to move forward, instead of settling for less than one’s potential is admirable. This effort is necessary, in order to serve God, according to our derech (path), for, we should not remain complacent (Likutei Amarim, end of chapter 15).

Taking that extra step towards freedom from the clutches of a negative habit, or compelling oneself to do even better in regard to a positive routine is what will bring us closer to the ideal person that we envision for ourselves.

In order to change the trajectory of a negative inclination, that if followed, would have only kept us in negativity, one must believe it is possible to succeed. Spiritual growth is not any different, theoretically, than efforts at discipline in regard to an exercise routine for the body. One more push up, every once in a while or an extra sit-up or two, proves to ourself that we have the potential to do more, if we set our minds to it.

This can also be understood in the realm of character development. For example, we may contribute to the benefit and welfare of others in some particular manner, such as giving a quarter to the nice lady on the corner, everyday, as we walk to the coffeeshop; yet, what about, stopping and saying “hi,” or simply, “G-d bless you.” These little extras add to the mitzvah. This same understanding of increasing the quality of good deed can be applied to other mitzvoth as well.

I am not talking about pushing oneself, as if one is not doing enough already; rather, to grow in a steady manner, as we see feasible for ourselves, and are inspired to do so. It is not necessarily about reaching the next level or rung on the ladder; rather, about meeting the moment with the effort that will prove our ability to pass a test with flying colors, like a ship returning from the battle.

Our battle is between our lesser inclination to remain static, and our higher inclination to improve ourselves, one embellishment at a time, beautifying the mitzvoth (good deeds) of our lives. For myself , I am learning how to focus more on the present moment rather than the incessant struggle to achieve for myself greater and greater spiritual status in my own eyes. So, it appears to be more about the journey, than the destination. These efforts will be granted a reward both in this life and Olam Haba (the World-to-Come).

After the Festival

Rosh Hashanah shiur – Sanctification

“And now, Israel, what doth the L-RD thy G-d require of thee, but to fear the L-RD thy G-d, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the L-RD thy G-d with all thy hear and with all thy soul; to keep for thy good the commandments of the L-RD, and His statutes, which I command thee this day?” –  Deuteronomy 10:12-13, JPS 1917 Tanach

If we make an effort to sanctify ourselves from Below (Earth), according to our own efforts, H’Shem will sanctify us from Above (Heaven). Moreover, this also translates into our overall efforts in Olam Hazeh (This World), that will be rewarded in Olam Haba (The World-to-Come). This would include the sanctification of speech.

For myself, the nature, timing, and quality of my words need much refining. As much as I may think that I’m cautious about my speech, as a boundaried individual, I also am able to see where I fall short of appropriate speech. Namely, the many different kinds of lashon hara are a reminder to me, that I need to make an effort to improve in this department. Which serves as a segue to another important point.

Rosh HaShanah should ideally be a serious day of focus on one’s thought, speech, and action, while remaining free from chatter, and idle words, in order to have one’s thoughts absorbed with the meaning of the holiday. However, this task becomes even more challenging at seudah (lunch) after the morning service. I found myself reverting back to the same types of inappropriate speech I have been trying to root out.

Isn’t this the nature of festivities, when there is wine and good food? Yet, regardless, I am still responsible for my own speech and behavior. The only positive result of my realizing that I spoke lashon hara twice during seudah, is that my faults compelled me to begin reading the sefer of Chofetz Chaim on Lashon Hara. And, lo and behold, the book is arranged to study these laws, beginning on Tishrei 1.

So, here I am. Hineni. Like all of us, I am given another chance to improve. May this only be the beginning of renewal for all of K’lal Yisrael. For the sake of our own benefit (Deuteronomy 10:13), may we endeavor to keep on track by following the commandments, especially those wherein we need to improve.

Gemar chatimah tovah – a good final sealing.