Tag: synagogue

Beyond Confidence

I have become the greeter at the synagogue. This means that I stand by the door, waiting for people to arrive. I open the door, on the right side of a double doorway, so that if the person(s) entering choose, they have opportunity to kiss the mezuzah on their right side, before they enter.

The door has been locked ever since the tragic events of October Seventh, when 1300 Israelis were massacred by Hamas terrorists, as well as the Palestinian civilians who we now know joined with them on this sick-minded, inhumane attack of innocent Israeli civilians, men, women, children as well as babies and the elderly.

Many in the Jewish community where I live are alarmed by what has happened and what is currently happening around the world. Even the relatively quiet city where I live has its share of Pro-Palestinian protests that are essentially pro-Hamas and anti-Israeli. These are organized by a chapter of the Students for Justice for Palestine on Campus as well as local Leftist activists.

I have been asked several times what I would do, if there was an issue at the synagogue. That depends on the nature of the circumstances. However, if I see someone who looks suspicious, rather than open the door and greet him, I intend to step outside and let the door close behind me. I have no fear.

Several months ago, some non-Jewish friends expressed concern for my safety in general, where I live, since I often walk here, there, and everywhere. I told them that I have changed nothing in my (very religious) appearance or attitude, except that I feel even more confident about who I am as a Jewish person, and will not let anything deter me from expressing the nature of my identity.

On the contrary, if I let fear take hold to the slightest degree, then a slow compromise would begin to take effect, and I would slip back into the metaphorical shell of a turtle that I used to hide under, when I was younger. I cannot let fear take root in my consciousness at all.

Not everyone is like this; and, I respect that people need to meet the circumstances from where they are at with themselves and G-d. The point being, that the more we place our trust in G-d, the more of a security He will be to us. Therefore, I have no confidence in myself, beyond the trust that I place in G-d. I will make an effort to stand up for my belief, practice, and identity; however, I will never leave G-d out of the equation.

on a personal note:

I am at my desk, nearly twenty-four hours a day, for I often fall to sleep at my desk. Yet, the time has arrived for me to question my motives, and activities. What do I do? Mostly I think, read, and write about G-d, religion, and scripture. However, this will not suffice. For, I have very little lived experience in actually serving G-d within the framework of an active compatible community. To what avail have I been attending services on Shabbos on a regular basis? Virtually none, for the pace of service is too fast for me to meaningful follow along. The interruptions and chatter are always present to some degree; and, additionally, there is no fertile opportunity for me to foster any sense of kavannah before during or after the service. Moreover, seudah (lunch) after services, is disappointing as well, even though at times, I do get to here an interesting dvar. Even so, mostly, the table(s) are full of mundane chatter about worldly topics, forbidden to speak about on Shabbos.

And, so, at my desk shall I remain until I am able to find another community for myself, according to H’Shem’s directive. Baruch H’Shem (Praise G-d), for taking me this far on the journey. As usual, I will need to move on at some point, perhaps, in the near future; that is to say, that it is typical in my life to change, and need to find somewhere else where there is “room to grow.” For now, I will take a break from attendance at the local shul where I have been davening in-person on Shabbos and holidays. After all, I still have the shul I attend on Zoom during the weekdays, as well as on Shabbos, early in the morning, inasmuch as I give myself a dispensation to do so, being that it is forbidden to use the internet on the Sabbath. It figures that all of these thoughts are preceded by my first ever purchase of a bottle of unkosher wine on Friday afternoon (under extenuating circumstances); perhaps, the treif wine has made my brain “loopy,” so to speak; although I feel as if I am “liberated” from the minutia of details, that plague the mind of an observant Jew. So be it, for now. I will remain on the derech (path); yet, I will tread mindfully as I walk along to eternity.

note: this blogpost was posted exactly at the end of Shabbat, erev 30 Nissan 5782.

Ner Tamid

“Fire shall be kept burning upon the altar continually; it shall not go out.”

– Leviticus 6:6, JPS 1917 Tanach

The olah [elevation offering] remained on the mizbeach (altar) all night until the morning (Leviticus 6:2). This refers to the daily tamid offering; one lamb was brought as an offering in the morning, and one in the evening. The commandment for eish (fire) to be kept burning upon the mizbeach (altar) all night, was enacted throughout the nighttime as well, enabling the remaining parts of the evening olah, plus any additional offerings of the day, to continue burning. Additionally, two logs of wood were placed on the mizbeach in the morning, and again in the evening, as fuel for the sacred fire.

This fire that was kept continually burning upon the mizbeach, reflects the ideal devotion towards H’Shem that we should have on a continual basis. “To serve the L-RD thy G-d with all thy heart and with all thy soul” (Deuteronomy 10:12, JPS). The olah offering of the morning and evening, may be understood to represent our devotion, throughout both the day and night. Additionally, the morning and afternoon services – shachris and mincha – relate to the two daily tamid offerings; whereas the evening service (maariv) has its complement, as pertaining to the remainders of the olah of the second tamid offering, and other offerings that burnt throughout the night.

The ner tamid (eternal light), represented by the light above the ark in a synagogue, brings us even closer to an understanding of what H’Shem desires of us. In the Zohar, the “everlasting fire,” that is to be kept continually burning on the mizbeach (altar), alludes to the divine light of the soul (Tikkunei Zohar 74a). As expressed elsewhere, “The spirit [neshama] of man is the lamp of the L-RD” (Proverbs 20:27). To connect with H’Shem (deveykus) on a continual basis, we need to engage every facet of ourselves – our thought, speech, and behavior – in an effort towards enhancing the light within us. As is demonstrated by the flame of a candle, that flickers upwards, just as our soul should reach up towards Shomayim (Heaven).

“In Thy light we see light.” – Psalm 36:11, JPS 1917 Tanach

His Glory Across the Heavens

“Thou art clothed with glory and majesty. Who coverest Thyself with light as with a garment, who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain.” – Psalms 104:1-2, JPS 1917 Tanach


In like manner that a tallis (prayer shawl) is draped over the shoulders, so are the heavens stretched out like a curtain. “Thou art clothed with glory and majesty. Who coverest Thyself with light as with a garment, who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain” (Psalms 104:1-2, JPS 1917 Tanach). What lesson can be learned from this? We are to reflect His kavod (glory), while draped in a tallis; and remind ourselves of His majesty each hand every day of our lives. The heavens are there to remind us.

poem: Seeking Refuge

Despite the explosions nearby,

they daven as usual at shul;

a staunch commitment to the Almighty,

in the face of adversity and ruin.

And, the presence of the Shechinah,

who shelters all who seek refuge under her wings;

will guarantee protection to those on the bimah,

and amongst the congregation otherwise serene.

For, neither war, nor the chaos that might ensue,

will damage the spirit of the truly pious;

sending our hopes Above, into the azure blue,

our heartfelt prayers to Whom we trust.

Nothing will shake the faith of the soul,

who aspires to dream beyond what appears bleak;

everything is possible, as silence reveals the toll,

of redemption, soon at hand for the meek.

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